Customer Reviews

Telling Isn't Tattling

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We start our school year in Kindergarten with "Telling Isn't Tattling". It is a wonderful introduction for these young children to start to learn how to handle situations on their own and when they should involve an adult. The situation/role play set up of the book is wonderful to pull the kids into discussions and to brain storm ways to solve problems. A must have for all teachers and parents!

This book attempts to distinguish between telling and tattling by presenting 1-page scenarios in which your child is supposed to choose whether the characters are telling or tattling. The answers and a brief explanation are included following the scenarios.

For example, 2 children are playing outside and get into a squabble. One boy begans teasing and calling the other names, then stops and goes off to play. The one who is teased goes inside to report what happened to his mother. Was he telling or tattling? If you guessed "telling," you're wrong - according to the author of this book. The little boy was tattling (...)This situation confused my young niece when we read it since she learned long ago to let us know if anyone is treating her wrongly, rudely, etc. Most importantly, bullying is a real problem for kids sometimes and they need help learning how to cope with this from adults (some experts have attributed the Columbine incident to the perpetual teasing/bullying that the 2 boys experienced over the course of many years -in addition to the lack of consequences their bullies faced). If permitted, this book would have taught her to disregard her feelings and not to turn to us for assistance.

In another scenario 1 sister informs their dad that her sister put the board game they were playing with on the floor in the closet instead of the shelf where it belongs. She was clearly tattling, claims the author. Once again, this was confusing for my niece because she is expected to put toys up where they belong and we never put board games on the floor since they can get stepped on. Also, my niece's sister doesn't always listen to her when she is reminded where things belong - so an adult's assistance can once again be required.

While the author's concept of this book is great, the actual application of her ideas is ineffective. The two examples from the book above can sometimes be "tattling" and other times be "telling," which makes them poor examples to clarify this concept for children. In fact, they only bewilder children more.

My advice is to take a pass on this book. Instead, create and practice telling vs. tattling scenarios with your children based on your own parenting/discipline style.

I find that a number adults, too, are confused about what is telling and what is tattling. When this occurs, adults will tell kids to stop tattling when they are in fact telling. As a result, kids become very confused and may not tell adults when they are being bullied, etc.

Supervision aides, student supporter workers, teachers, administrators, children and parents would benefit from understanding the difference between telling and tattling. "Telling Isn't Tattling" by Kathryn M. Hammerseng is a gem. I found it very helpful and definitely prefer it over a picture story book titled, "Don't Squeal Unless It's a Big Deal."

"Telling Isn't Tattling" is an awesome paper back book. It has 13 short vignettes dealing with situations at home, school and the community that encourages the reader to prompt students/children to determine if the individual in the story is telling or tattling.

"Children tattle when they want to:
- get someone in troubble
- look good in someone else's eyes
- get attention
- have an adult solve their problem

Children are telling when they:
- want protection for themselves or someone else
- want protection for their own or someone else's property
- are scared
- are in danger"

Sometimes children endure horrid suffering because they are afraid of "tattling." These thirteen stories help children see the difference between necessary "telling" and unnecessary "tattling." This book offers relief from the highly stressful situation of being afraid to tell but desperately needing to tell. It needs to be used carefully with adult guidance.

This is a great little book that teaches children (and teachers) the difference between telling and tattling. Every preschool and elementary school teacher should have a copy of this book in his/her classroom.