James C. Dobson, Ph.D., is founder and chairman emeritus of Focus on the Family, a nonprofit organization that produced his internationally syndicated radio programs, heard by more than 200 million people every day. A licensed psychologist and marriage, family, and child counselor, he earned a Ph.D. from the University of Southern California in the field of child development. The author of more than 30 books, including his most recent bestseller, Bringing Up Boys, he has been heavily involved in governmental activities related to the family. Dr. Dobson is married to Shirley and they reside in Colorado.
I am amazed to see what has been written in some reviews comparing Christians to sadists. I don't believe that you will find the term "beat your child" in Doctor Dobson's advice. The term used here is spanking and it is interesting to note that his advice is that spanking should be applied to a situation early on when the parent is not angry and is well in control of their own emotions. He also warns against things like yanking a child up by their arms and other things that might physically injure a child. Nowhere does it imply that a parent should take out a board and beat a child senseless. We are more than willing to say that we "spank" our child. We have used a paint stirring stick. It is about 3/16 of an inch thick and about 12 inches long. The spanking is applied to the child's buttocks which we all know is quite well padded. Nowhere does Doctor Dobson advise parents to beat their child on the back or an area that could cause physical damage. Nowhere does he say to use a baseball bat or any object that could cause permanent physical damage to the child.
We have a two and a half year old that is in that difficult stage where she wants to say no and pitch fits. Unfortunately we have not been diligent enough to apply proper punishment. Let me make this perfectly clear. We DO NOT enjoy spanking our child and it is very painful to us but we know the alternative. It is to allow a child to grow up without discipline and wreak havoc.
It is interesting to note that since becoming more diligent in applying spanking IN THE RIGHT MANNER, our little one has become much more managable and we tend to be in much less of a stessed out situation where we could possible do something that we would regret.Read more ›
I was raised using the exact methods that Dobson recommends. I am a well-adjusted, happily married, mother of a five year old boy. I've attempted to use these exact principles to raise my son and so far he is one of the happiest, confident little boys I know. I think many people who reviewed this book have not read it in it's entirety. One of Dobson's strongest points is love. I guess I don't need to expound. The strongest argument for a book is the product of its application. Speaking of which, my sister and many of my friends were also disciplined this way, and they all turned out great :)
History speaks for itself, you can make all the arguments you want, but the proof is in the pudding. Look at the past generations where "spanking" as a dispicline was practiced by the majority in comparison with our current generation where the major concensus is "negotiation and just give them a hug"...
It's NOT working guys, wake up...
The past generations were respectiful of each other, patriotic, less violent ... and in general, far better citizens. This generation is plagued with emotional, addictive and violent behaviors...
Now I'm sure you'll have your "theory" on that...but as for me, I KNOW our "Feel Good" approach is creating a society of self-involved, self-serving, self-centered individuals.
First let me say that if you own Dobson's "Dare to Discipline" don't waste your time with this book. It doesn't really contain any new information, it's really just a condensed version of the main book.
However, if you'd like to get Dad on board with the discipline and you have a husband like mine who won't sit down and read a long book, this would be a good thing for you to get for him to quickly read through, so you are both on the same page.
By Happy mom of happy kids (CA) - See all my reviews
In this book, Dr. Dobson CLEARLY specifies the different personalities of children. Most of the people who is horrified by the sole idea of spanking a child are those who have not had an obvious need for this resource of discipline. I have two children with totally opposite personalities, my daughter who is a lovely, complaint, inteligent girl, NEVER had to be disciplined in this way. Actually, at the time when I only had my daughter I wouldn't have seen the need of this method, and is not that she was the perfect child but due to her personality by only explaining causes and effects, and patiently steering her behavior, I was succesful at raising a happy, obedient and extremely confident nice girl. After her, I was blessed with my adorable strong willed son, who I love as much as my daughter (for the ones who could conceive otherwise), but recognize the difference between their personalities and obviously the difference in the approach needed to discipline them. I have read lots of childrearing books and NOTHING worked with my son, the time was passing by and though I was being patient, I recognized the need to act, so I did. I applied Dr. Dobson's method of discipline and LOVE, did I mentioned LOVE? was that BIG and CLEAR enough????? It is not about pain, it is about discipline which has NOTICEABLY made my child HAPPIER, he has now better relationships at school, a much better relationship with us, his parents, with sister, etc. I have not had the need of doing it again in 3 months now. So, is a spanking (1 swat) in three months abuse?????? I don't think so. And I'm willing to do it again if necessary. Again, NOT EVERY child needs this approach of discipline and Dr.Read more ›