Customer Reviews

Temper Your Child's Tantrums (Pocket Guides)

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I am amazed to see what has been written in some reviews comparing Christians to sadists. I don't believe that you will find the term "beat your child" in Doctor Dobson's advice. The term used here is spanking and it is interesting to note that his advice is that spanking should be applied to a situation early on when the parent is not angry and is well in control of their own emotions. He also warns against things like yanking a child up by their arms and other things that might physically injure a child. Nowhere does it imply that a parent should take out a board and beat a child senseless. We are more than willing to say that we "spank" our child. We have used a paint stirring stick. It is about 3/16 of an inch thick and about 12 inches long. The spanking is applied to the child's buttocks which we all know is quite well padded. Nowhere does Doctor Dobson advise parents to beat their child on the back or an area that could cause physical damage. Nowhere does he say to use a baseball bat or any object that could cause permanent physical damage to the child.

We have a two and a half year old that is in that difficult stage where she wants to say no and pitch fits. Unfortunately we have not been diligent enough to apply proper punishment. Let me make this perfectly clear. We DO NOT enjoy spanking our child and it is very painful to us but we know the alternative. It is to allow a child to grow up without discipline and wreak havoc.

It is interesting to note that since becoming more diligent in applying spanking IN THE RIGHT MANNER, our little one has become much more managable and we tend to be in much less of a stessed out situation where we could possible do something that we would regret. It is also interesting to see the attitude of our little one after the discipline. She settles down and climbs up in our lap for some of the most tender moments. She feels secure knowing that she has boundaries that are well established.

I would encourage those with negative attitudes toward these methods to ask themselves a question. What keeps you from robbing a bank or doing whatever you please? It is knowing that there is punishment for the things that you do wrong. How in the world do people expect a child who knows very little of right and wrong to make the decisions that an adult would make. They simply have to be taught right and wrong and that is done through LOVING discipline.

I would also like to make this comment. If those with such negative comments have purchased a book like this, then they must be going through some of the struggles that the book addresses. Maybe one should attempt to try the advice before labeling it as sadistic.

I would also like to see people use fact rather than poorly thought out rants. Point people toward actual studies that show that spanking your child is unhealthy. I might add that discipline in schools is a mess. Isn't it interesting to see the amount of school shootings we have not compared to the times when there was actual discipline. Leave spanking out of the category of child abuse and be open to an option that does actually work.

I would highly recommend this book and the advice that it gives. It is working in our lives although as a loving parent it is difficult to punish our child. We know that left to themselves the pain will be much worse if we allow an undisciplined child out into the world to make a mess.

I was raised using the exact methods that Dobson recommends. I am a well-adjusted, happily married, mother of a five year old boy. I've attempted to use these exact principles to raise my son and so far he is one of the happiest, confident little boys I know. I think many people who reviewed this book have not read it in it's entirety. One of Dobson's strongest points is love. I guess I don't need to expound. The strongest argument for a book is the product of its application. Speaking of which, my sister and many of my friends were also disciplined this way, and they all turned out great :)

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About the book. This is an excellent guide to help parent and children. As Dr. Dobson has said elswhere children crave structure and stability and that comes from disapline and love. In todays society we have forgotten the disapline aspect and liberals have developed a philopsophy of hate calling disapline abuse. What do we have to show for it. A nation of little monsters. Disapline has always been meat to be tempered by love and when the two are given together children respond.
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I appreciate Dr. Dobson's practical advice in addition to the way he uses every day stories from people's lives so that I know I am not alone and I am not an awful parent. I am actually very normal mother with intelligent children! I also appreciate the pocket guide format, so it is a quicker read. I would definitely reccomend it.

By Happy mom of happy kids (CA) - See all my reviews

In this book, Dr. Dobson CLEARLY specifies the different personalities of children. Most of the people who is horrified by the sole idea of spanking a child are those who have not had an obvious need for this resource of discipline. I have two children with totally opposite personalities, my daughter who is a lovely, complaint, inteligent girl, NEVER had to be disciplined in this way. Actually, at the time when I only had my daughter I wouldn't have seen the need of this method, and is not that she was the perfect child but due to her personality by only explaining causes and effects, and patiently steering her behavior, I was succesful at raising a happy, obedient and extremely confident nice girl. After her, I was blessed with my adorable strong willed son, who I love as much as my daughter (for the ones who could conceive otherwise), but recognize the difference between their personalities and obviously the difference in the approach needed to discipline them. I have read lots of childrearing books and NOTHING worked with my son, the time was passing by and though I was being patient, I recognized the need to act, so I did. I applied Dr. Dobson's method of discipline and LOVE, did I mentioned LOVE? was that BIG and CLEAR enough????? It is not about pain, it is about discipline which has NOTICEABLY made my child HAPPIER, he has now better relationships at school, a much better relationship with us, his parents, with sister, etc. I have not had the need of doing it again in 3 months now. So, is a spanking (1 swat) in three months abuse?????? I don't think so. And I'm willing to do it again if necessary.
Again, NOT EVERY child needs this approach of discipline and Dr. Dobson has made that very clear in his book, and also has made clear that disciplining your child with LOVE does not make a child resentful, but grateful. There are many testimonies of this in this same blog. He clearly stated that ONLY those parents of a child like "this" (like mine) would understand.

History speaks for itself, you can make all the arguments you want, but the proof is in the pudding. Look at the past generations where "spanking" as a dispicline was practiced by the majority in comparison with our current generation where the major
concensus is "negotiation and just give them a hug"...

It's NOT working guys, wake up...

The past generations were respectiful of each other, patriotic, less violent ... and in general, far better citizens. This generation is plagued with emotional, addictive and violent behaviors...

Now I'm sure you'll have your "theory" on that...but as for me, I KNOW our "Feel Good" approach is creating a society of self-involved, self-serving, self-centered individuals.

First let me say that if you own Dobson's "Dare to Discipline" don't waste your time with this book. It doesn't really contain any new information, it's really just a condensed version of the main book.

However, if you'd like to get Dad on board with the discipline and you have a husband like mine who won't sit down and read a long book, this would be a good thing for you to get for him to quickly read through, so you are both on the same page.

THis book was very helpful. I liked it because it was small and it was to the point. I didn't have to read pages and pages to get to the bottom line. As a grandmother having her 19 month old with her I only have time for the bottom line!
Book was aged but in good condition otherwise. It came rather quickly which I like.

To those of you who think spanking is barbaric, look back a generation or two to parents and grandparents. What do you see? Compare them to people who were raised without spanking. Is there a difference? Do you see any of the following characteristics more in one group than the other? violence, anger, felt unloved or abused by parents, respect for others, kindness, compassion, etc. Just wondering. I'm 64. My friends and I received some spankings--some more than others. Most of us grew up happy, thinking our parents loved us and thinking our parents were great, except for the teen years. We are nonviolent people who respect and love other people. Perhaps, other means of reward and punishment would have been just as effective, but spanking did not make us violent or insecure. It could be abused alright, but any method of parenting can be abused. I'm not advocating spanking; I just thought some of the comments on spanking were wrong.

I really wish I had this book when I was raising my daughter. The book gave very good ideas about ways to teach without throwing a fit or having one back in your face from the toddler. The idea of spanking is long gone as a means of discipline and this book gave many ideas of ways to instruct, draw boundaries without causing high blood preasure for the parents and I really see how it works with my grandchildren.