Customer Reviews

The Tender Heart: Conquering Your Insecurity

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

The subject matter of this book is one which deserves serious exploration. In fact, the subtitle "Conquering Your Insecurity" was a big enticement (if only...). Unfortunately, this book explores and recommends very little. Once the premise is set forth, that tenderheartedness or toughheartedness is a congenital predisposition, and how it comes about, and how it manifests itself in daily life, (career, relationship, etc.) the book goes no further - just keeps repeating and attempting to substantiate that premise. The "case studies" used to demonstrate these ideas are WAY too long and utterly lack substance. It's like when someone says "to make a long story short..." you know you're in for a long, drawn out nothing. If you're looking for concrete self-help, thought provoking substance and engaging reading, this ain't it. See Marcy Calhoun's "Are You Really Too Sensitive?" It's substantive, meaningful and useful on this subject. Best wishes to all who are searching.

The Tender Heart focuses on sensitivity as a trait a person is born with. A person is either highly sensitive or hard hearted, most likely somewhere inbetween, as described in Joe Nowinski's new book. For the first time, I feel this is an understanding of human nature that has not been explored before. I feel it puts into perspective, why different people react differently to the same situations, just by their very natures they are born with. It addresses why some people can be so disturbed by a situation, while another is completely oblivious to it. Then added is a layer of security or insecurity, and how it interacts with the sensitive or hard hearted person. This explains a lot of the interpersonal interactions of people. Human emotions are very much multi-dimensional and complex. By understanding the layers in which a person perceives a situation, colored by their emotional make-up, helps shine a light on easing many problems that exist in many relationships. What makes this book such a valuable tool, is that Nowinski is able to help describe situations and give solutions, not only for adults dealing with troubling situations, but to recognize sensitivities in children and how it affects their development. I highly recommend this book.

The author explains and reexplains *where* how a person may develop tender-heartedness but does little to fulfill the promise of conquering insecurity. The first few chapers were a good overview, but there was not much practical advice for how to deal with emotional predators in, say, the workplace. I'm eager to check out some of the books other users here have suggested instead...

Yes - this book did have a great start... I was flipping through the pages reading each one carefully waiting to see where the author gets to the "conquering your insecurites"... I was left with a one page- three step recipe to acomplish what the book claims. The title is misleading... maybe it was done so purposefully to write part II?

The author had great insite to different types of personalities and reasonable explanations as to why certain people react differently to situations. What I didn't get was how to address the problems of insecurity. The author gave some very general guidelines, but nothing specific to work toward. That part was very frustrating to me. I was hoping to take away some good advice on how to approach these problems.

If only people were this concrete and would quit bothering others with their annoying complexities. In addition to the thoughts expressed in the other reviews I was confused by the author's idea that it is best to "get out" of a relationship with some one who is insecure (because they won't change) in a book that is supposed to help people who are insecure.

This book did have a great start... I was flipping through the pages reading, and I was left with a one page- "how to"... I thought that this whole book was to HELP you conquer your insecurities, not just give you a quick little "over-view" of what you're SUPPOSED to be doing...
The title is misleading, and I definently wouldn't recommend this self-help book to anyone!

I've read the other reviews claiming this book doesn't live up to expectations. Whilst I agree in some ways, and did find it often repetitive, I personally got a lot out of it. By taking the time to reflect after each chapter on how it applied to my life I was able to better process this. A big part of me wanted to jump straight to solution mode but by working through my own "stuff" and looking back on my childhood etc I was able to better understand my own insecurities. After that I basically came up with the solutions on my own - it all comes down to self awareness. Too often we rely on books to help us solve our problems rather than use them as a key to unlock our own ability to help ourselves. Dont dismiss this book as I believe it has a lot to offer and has helped me immensely.

I agree that the author does not provide specifics on solving the problem of insecurity. However, I don't think that was his purpose in this book. He focuses on providing an understanding of the tenderhearted personality type. The information was very helpful to me, opening my eyes up to aspects of this issue that I had not considered previously. I learned a lot from this book.

It was the best book I have read on the subject. My husband read it as well. Really explained a lot--it was like a light bulb went off. Excellent! I even bought another copy for my son.