Customer Reviews

The Tender Scar: Life After the Death of a Spouse

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(2)
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2 star:		(1)
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I met Richard at a writers' conference, and sat beside him for several days in a fiction workshop where we shared our love for writing and some of our painful backstories. (While we both love fiction and storytelling, God has us writing from our losses, at least for right now.)

When he asked me to look at an advance copy of this book, I said yes (when I usually hesitate because authors get so many requests) because of the depth and compassion I saw in him, as well as talent with words.

Though I've not experienced the same loss, I found this book a refreshing read, one I'll recommend. When it comes to grieving for a spouse, no healing journey is the same, but Richard offers illustrations from his own walk through grief and practical encouragement like changing your way of thinking. Especially about finding yourself single in a world made for couples. He talks about expanding your horizons, exploring your options, facing holidays and being open to a second chance.

Grieving for the loss of a mate is not easy and there is no standard timetable. You'll find this book filled with compassion and solid truth to apply. It's a reminder that God is beside you in the darkest of days. God is the healer, restorer, and the light will shine again.

Dr. Mabry waited long enough to gain some perspective before he took in hand to share the journey from grief to wholeness. He left enough bread crumbs of hope along that path to help any who come behind him in the numbness of sorrow and pain. His practical suggestions about what to do on special days shared with the lost loved one, the clothes that must be dealt with, and the way one can face the future without the guilt of being "unfaithful" the lost spouse will be of invaluable worth to all who walk alone for the first time. Any sufferer who struggles to regain one's balance will find "The Tender Scar" to speak with the authority of experience.

I love the title of this well-crafted book. There is no greater understanding of the tenderness of a scar than from a physician. It's with the same tenderness and compassion that Dr. Richard Mabry writes about the death of a spouse. He has lived and breathed the content of this book--yet handles this delicate topic with care for the reader.

From his own loss of his spouse, Richard has created a valuable resource for anyone in this special life situation. Often it's difficult to know what to say or what to give someone who has lost a spouse. Here's the perfect gift. The person might not read it immediately (or they might) but the text will be something that will help each reader turn to the comfort of Jesus in the midst of their recovery.

This book is a valuable resource for any pastor or counselor or funeral director. As they read the book, it's a way they can understand and reach out with help to the people in their path. Also this book is another tool which they can give as a practical help. I hope THE TENDER SCAR will be a book which will stand the test of time. I highly recommend it.

I so appreciated this book and found it to be very, very helpful and insightful. I have given it to several others who lost spouses and each has thanked me and gotten additional copies for their family. My f-law gave a copy to his daughter so she would understand what he was going through following the death of my m-law.

It is now part of the resource library for Faith Hospice in Dallas to help spouses who have lost loved ones. Good for surviving spouse AND those around them trying to help and understand their grief.

I have known Dr. Mabry for over 35 years. I experienced with him the death of his first wife. He has painstakingly journelled the events following her death and has written a warm and very helpful book to aid others in their loss of a mate. I have given several copies to friends of mine who have lost their mate and without exception they report that the caring and precise way Dr. Mabry has written this book has helped them in their own personal quest for peace and healing.

It does give a good overview of his grieving process. A lot of religion. At a time like this, you might want more religion, or less. That depends upon the reader. It does offer some hope for the future of a widow/er. Some of it I don't agree with, but overall, it does offer some comfort.

This book was very comforting and gave me an insite to what my father may be expeiencing. I will hand it down to him and will ask him to hand it down to my brother. My mother passed 2 months ago and I can truely empathize with Dr. Mabry. We live in Texas, my mother was an avid gardener, my father's hobby was golf (and has decided to take it up again) and they were also married for over 40 years.

But, even if your parent/spouse does not have these things in common as my father does, I recommend this book to anyone who has a parent/spouse who was taken too soon.

This was a very good book for grieving spouses. I am a widower, who lost my wife of 17 years, at age 39 (both of us) to breast cancer. I highly recommend this for others in a similar situation.

The tender scar is the personal story by a husband who lost his wife. It details his feelings and thoughts (and frankly those of others who have gone through this loss). Brief bible passages and brief prayers at the end of each chapter. I found it very comforting and would encourage anyone who has lost their beloved husband or wife to read it.

My wife died from a rare neurological disease two weeks ago. She had been "dying" for nearly a year, and we had the opportunity to say and do everything that neeeded saying and doing. I would have thought I was prepared. But after 42 years of marriage, how can one be prepared to begin the rest of his life alone, when I thought we had at least twenty more years together? The void I feel in my life and my heart is unexplainable to anyone who hasn't been there, I think.

This book was a tremendous help. I read it last night, all in one sitting. I will go back and review a number of chapters, but I learned that some of the feelings I have, and the thoughts I'm processing, are not unique. That helps.

There is a definite Christian perspective to this book, and the author is obviously a firm believer in God and the afterlife, as am I. If you are not, this book may not be for you. I found it comforting to read the author's thoughts (from his diary) and prayers he offered at the end of each chapter.