Customer Reviews

Tender Warrior: God's Intention for a Man

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This is an excellent and inspiring book for all men who want to be what God has called them to be. I think most men know that we're not living up to all that we could or should be, but so many of us don't know what to do about it. We're not being "real men." So many of us didn't have good role models in our own fathers, and this book can help fill in the gaps. For example, I use this book when working with young men whose wives or (more often) girlfriends are pregnant at the Crisis Pregnancy Center where my wife and I volunteer.

Now, for those of you who may be thinking "Oh no, not another 'get naked and beat tribal drums' book," Weber discusses several of the "drum beating" types of books, fairly discussing their positive points but concluding that they fall way short of where they need to in their search for authentic manhood. To find what men are made to be, you have to go back to the Author himself: past one man's personal insights into himself, past ancient tribal customs, past the "old stories": to the original Author Himself. This is a very Biblically-based book, and Weber makes no apologies for that.

Weber divides manhood into four divisions, which he calls King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend. This general theme is discussed in some other books on manhood (as Weber admits) but not as Biblically as Weber does it. For example, another book calls them "blueprints" of a man: Weber says he prefers to think of them as "fingerprints" of the man's Creator.

But Weber doesn't hang his entire book on these four (rather arbitrary) divisions. Weber then finds a common thread throughout all of them: Initiative. I think this idea of Initiative being the core of manhood was one of the most insightful single contributions Weber makes. To quote: "Just as a compass without a needle is not a compass, a man without Initiative is not a man." Perfect.

He also very clearly shows how Initiative is not equal to being Bossy. Taking Initiative means taking initiative in helping out around the house, in saying you're sorry, in asking your wife's help, in asking "what do my wife and kids need right now that I can help with?" It's about as far from bossy or (in the tiresome language of critics) "50's Ozzie and Harriet" as you can get.

Most of the rest of the book is spent working out how the four divisions of manhood and the central thread of Initiative applies to various situations and people in a man's life. The chapter "Does Anyone Here Speak 'Woman'?" is worth the price of the book.

I only have two very tiny negative comments about the book. First, the war-time metaphors and examples from Weber's own life as an Army Ranger won't appeal to everybody. For myself, I enjoyed reading them and they helped, but found it difficult to relate in a few cases because I my background isn't the same. One can't fault Weber that much, though: he simply wrote as who he is.

Second, I think this book would be best with an older, more mature man alongside a younger one. (I am working with two younger men right now.) It might not impact a young man as strongly if given to him if he is not able to have an older (or at least same maturity level) man come alongside him. The obvious solution: be that older man. Don't just give it to your kids: work through it with them, and encourage them to work with their friends.

I also bought the audio version of this book. I have two negative comments about the audio version. First, it's only available on cassette. I wanted to give somebody a copy of it, but he can only play CDs, so I had to buy it on cassette, rip it, and burn to CD. (Yes, I did this all legally.) That was a drag, and the resulting quality is rather low. Second, the audio version is not only shorter, but actually combines two chapters from the book (9 and 10). This makes it hard to track against the book. However, it is still a positive for those who are auditory learners and have more time to listen than to read. As most men probably fall into this category, I hope the publisher will consider bringing the audio version out on CD.

In summary: get this book, read it, highlight it, re-read it, work through it with your friends. And watch God turn you into the man you know you were created to be.

If you really want to know how to be a real man, read this book. Weber goes right to the biblical principles of how Jesus Christ set the mold for us to follow. The book outlines the roles a man must play during his life's walk and how those roles are intermingled with one another. How a real man is one who is a devoted father, husband, and friend. One who depends on Jesus Christ, the greatest man of all, for his counseling. You want to know what macho is, read the book! I'm using it right now for my men's ministry in my church and I can't keep them on the shelf. It's an awesome book to use for a Men's Sunday School or for a Men's class Thursday nights. Great job Stu!

From a woman's point of view, I can say that the kind of man this book describes will melt any woman's heart! I highly suggest it for men of all ages and marital status, but especially for those who are newly married. There are many things written out there about how to be a godly wife, but seeing what God has set down as guidelines for a godly husband is very important as well. Most women deep inside want desperately to find a man like this to shower our love on, and if treated in a godly fashion, will do so gladly. A godly man is very easy to submit to. If your wife is not submitting to your authority, make sure you are living up to your part of the relationship so it will be a joy for her to submit to you.

I suggest this book for women as well. I think it can be a good guideline for a single woman who is looking for a mate and can also help a married woman see more of the role God has ordained for her spouse.

It is definitely on my must read list.

Stu Weber has written a very good book that all men should read. He guides you on how to be a strong follower of Christ by doing the things that God intended for man. That is to love God first and foremost, cherish and honor his wife and protect and guide his children. Also can be used as a study guide for mens accountability groups.

Stu Weber's writing indicates that he is a man - a true man - a man like God intended man to be. I always knew in my heart what I am looking for in a partner. However, after reading Tender Warrior I can actually put words to those thoughts having the confidence that what I am writing is not a 'hairy fairy' thing but qualities based on God's own character. I have come out of this reading experience with a better assurance that I will be able to more quickly realize if I should invest in a particular friendship with the view that this person could be my partner for life. I recommend this book to every woman, married or single. Thanks Stu for your openess, honesty and desire to impart to others.

What is a real man,are you one? Want to be your wife or girlfriends Knight in Shining armor? Than read this book and buy one for your men friends.it will change your life.
Stu Weber is a mans-man,true down to earth biblical principals. Men if there are any two books that you should own first of course is the Holy Bible and this would be my second choice.
It will make you a better man,husband &father.
Thank you Stu Weber for this book.

This book sat on my shelf for six years before I finally picked it up. I am sorry I waited so long. I could have avoided some heartache and the mistakes I made that caused them.

"Tender Warrior" is a biblical examination of what makes a man. Using scripture, experience, and anecdotes from his own life and the lives of other men Weber uncovers some truths that have been lost to men in our society over the past few decades. He paints in broad bushstrokes that may startle and rub some the wrong way, but keep reading. You will find valuable insights straight from the pages of the bible that will challenge you to look again at yourself and reevaluate how you are doing as a man. At the end of each chapter are reflection questions for individual and group study.

There is something for all men in this book, so read it whether you are married, single, nearing the end of your journey, or just starting out.

I think I will read this book again and find some men to read it with so we can hone each other into the men that God wants us to be.

Tender Warrior provides excellent insights into God's vision for man. It discusses a mans role as a Christian, a husband, and a father. The stories relaying the authors personal experiences add significantly to the book. This is an easy read from start to finish. It can also be read a section at a time. I would recommend that it be read twice. Once for pure reading enjoyment and a second time to pause and ponder the messages and how they may help to improve your life with God, your spouse, and your children. Locking Arms by Stu Weber is also a fine book. It is a good follow-up to Tender Warrior.

This book should be mandatory reading to every Christian male. It should be given to every young man so that he starts off his walk right. One of the best books I've ever read. Ever since I first read this book, I've given and continue to give copies to every one who I think might read it. If you can, also try to order his other books. I especially like Spirit Warriors. Do yourself, your family, and your community a favor and order Stu Weber's books.

Stu touches on the common shortcommings of men in God's eyes. But moreover, he shows us the path to giving our friends and families what they need - strong men. This book has forever changed me and my family by opening my eyes to how easy it can be to live for God and better my relationships.