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4.7 out of 5 stars
Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on September 13, 1997
Format: Hardcover
Stu touches on the common shortcommings of men in God's eyes. But moreover, he shows us the path to giving our friends and families what they need - strong men. This book has forever changed me and my family by opening my eyes to how easy it can be to live for God and better my relationships.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on July 22, 2012
Format: Paperback
In 1990 Jungian psychologist Robert Moore and co-author Douglas Gillette wrote King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine.

Moore and Gillette referred to four blueprints, in Stu Weber's Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope he calls them fingerprints.

All the authors argue that in order to become a complete man, a man must be intentional in his efforts to develop in all four areas of his life.

Weber's blueprints are:

- King
- Warrior
- Mentor
- Friend

Like Moore and Gillette, Weber believes that men of all ages struggle with similar circumstances faced by other men who are husbands and fathers, married and single men of all ages and backgrounds.

To illustrate and explain these pillars, Weber uses a variety of examples from his personal experience in life, in relationships, in the ministry, and in the military especially from his days serving in Vietnam.

Here-in lay one of the weaknesses of the book. This fresh new copy of Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope is a reprint of material originally published in 1993 and 1999. Thus most of the illustrations and the referenced materials are twenty years old.

While true and accurate, some of the twenty year old illustrations do have a dated feel to them. That may not bother fifty year olds, but younger men seeking to become a Tender Warrior may have a harder time seeing the relevance of the illustrations.

That said, each chapter has some meaningful information and most importantly, it's followed by a relevant discussion guide useful for personal, mentorship or small group use.

Weber covers these eleven areas of manhood:
A Man Faces Himself
A Man and His Pro-Vision
A Man and His Roots
A Man's Greatest Strength
A Man's Tender Side
A Man and His Leadership
A Man and His Lady, Parts 1, 2 & 3
A Man and His Children, Parts 1, 2 & 3
A Man and His Friends, Parts 1 & 2
A Man and His Course, Parts 1 & 2
A Man and His Lord

I found Weber's challenge to be a Finisher to be most relevant to me as a man in my forties.
Finishers need vision - A focused pursuit.
Finishers need single-mindedness - An undivided heart.
Finishers need determination - A driving intensity.
Finishers need faith - A biblical optimism.

In conclusion, Tender Warrior is a book I will use as I guide my son and the young men I mentor. I recommend this book to fathers and sons, and small groups of men, young and not so young. It would also provide a useful starting point for a men's accountability group.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on March 5, 2008
Format: Paperback
Unlike the reviewer who cannot identify with Pastor Stu's military background, there are many who have served this country, that can identify with Pastor Stu's background and his major decision as a Captain in the 5th Special Forces/Ranger with service overseas, including Republic of South Vietnam. I believe his sacrifice to country and his previous role as a soldier (the values of Duty, Honor, Country) makes Pastor Stu more credible and a more powerful advocate of what it is to be a man, a GODLY man. I also believe that had Captain Weber not decided to choose the ministry over the military career, he would have been quite successful in the military and achieve a field grade ranking of General in the U.S. Army. As it turned out, the ministry gained an influential shepherd who has written a number of books that has and will continue to influence other men in their walk with GOD.

There are many worthy insights in this book and the others written by Pastor Stu. It has been some time since reading the book, but I recall that a key decision must be made by all men and that is, "Who is Your Authority?" This is a crossroad..."who will you follow?" With you continue to follow your own personal inclinations, the secular wisdoms of the day, or will you allow GOD to be the authority in your life, the guiding principles of your life, and obey the WORD? It is the most important question for all men to consider and then choose wisely. There are many other Biblically sound teachings that are covered. I will only touch upon one. As Christians who are walking in FAITH, there is a need to eschew being the "lone ranger", the Clint Eastwood-machismo solitary gunfighter that takes on an entire pack of vermin and wastes them all in glorious Hollywood images. Rather, a Christian man needs other GODLY men to stand with them, because the battle against the secular world value system and against evil spiritual principalities cannot be realistically defeated as in a Hollywood-Clint Eastwood shootout type scenario and a symbolic ride into the sunset....NO, Pastor Stu and the Bible identifies the need for comrades-in-arms, "Ranger buddies", other centurions, GOD-fearing warriors who will watch your back and your flank. You need others in this spiritual warfare. Otherwise, you will succumb. He tells it like it is. A strand of 3 cords is tough to break. A group/team of committed GODLY men cannot be defeated. Gideon had his 300. Joshua and Caleb had their forces, albeit invariably outnumbered in their battles, Joshua and Caleb's army prevailed. Obedient to GOD, go to Battle alongside other Christian brothers-in-arms. Put on the full armor of GOD and you will win EVERY Battle. Hope this review helps.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on October 9, 2012
Format: Paperback
"He is an initiator and she is a responder.
That's masculinity and femininity in the proverbial nutshell" (128).

I start with that, because so many readers evaluate books solely upon whether the author's view of gender roles agrees with theirs. If you believe in firm roles for men and women, husbands and wives, you will appreciate this book's message. Complementarianism is written on every page.

Stu Weber wrote this book to paint a picture of men as tender warriors, both strong and sensitive. In Weber's view, men's strongest trait is their ability to stand strong in the face of whatever may come, so each chapter traces how a godly man can stand firm in a specific role.

I most appreciated Weber's chapters on fatherhood and friendship. Regarding parenting, Weber spoke life into the idea that a father's impact spans generations: "That is the incredible power of fathering. It is so potent it is transgenerational in scope. Both positive and negative" (156). Where many authors touch the topic, Weber dug into it deeply and presented powerful examples of men whose influence changed the world.

Tender Warrior paints a compelling picture of manhood at its best, submitted to God and leading a family. I give it four stars rather than five only because I don't expect to reread this one. Weber's gift is writing to the reader's heart, stirring me to honor God in my roles as husband, father, and friend; but he doesn't offer much that is new. This isn't a resource to return to as much as it is a great encouragement to spur you on.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on July 13, 2001
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
This book has tremendous insight into how a man should lead his family. Weber's illustration from life tie in very well with the priciples of the Bible. As soon as I finished the book I loaned it to my brother and I'm buying another for a cousin. Outstanding book.
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful
on December 8, 2009
Format: Hardcover
I wanted to read this book for some time thinking that it might help me learn how to be a better father, husband, and man. I was particularly interested in getting some practical advice on how to be a little more gentle in my day to day interactions. At times I lean towards the warrior side of things and forget that toughness is not one of the fruits of the Spirit. Although the reviews of this book are very favorable on Amazon, I was rather disappointed with Tender Warrior. I really wanted to like it, but to my surprise there was not a whole lot of Scripture found in the book. I would have liked to have seen more Christian men used as examples to emulate as well. However, something Stu Weber said that I did find inspiring was how he was able to attend seminary full-time, hold three jobs in three distant locations, and still find time to be a husband and the father of two little boys. Although reading that does not help me with the gentleness factor, it does provide me optimism as I consider furthering my education.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on May 24, 2007
Format: Audio CD
Though the ideas are not new (it's all in the Bible) or unique, Stu does a great job bringing it all together in a way that helps the reader apply it to his life. Sometimes you just need someone to help get you remember that there is a model (Jesus) and with God's help we can improve the model that we present to our families and others who are watching.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on June 4, 2012
Format: Paperback
Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope by Stu Weber is a textbook on how to be a strong, Christian leader in today's world. Okay, so maybe not exactly a textbook, but it's purty good. There are a great many books out there teaching us exactly what it means to be a man of God. Many are solid, and many of them tend to cover a lot of the same information - which I'm not knocking; it just means a lot of individuals are tapping into the same resources.

Weber's representation of a Christian man as a "tender warrior", though not earthshatteringly different, is refreshing. He makes the distinction that "tender warrior" does not equal "soft male." Tender does not mean "effeminate or easily yielding" (that's soft according to Webster). Rather it means to be "compassionate, kind, or affectionate." As the Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf once said when asked if he was afraid to cry, "No....I'm afraid of a man who won't cry." Thus, I feel totally justified in going to see chick flicks and bawling all the way through! Or something like that...maybe I missed Stormin's point.

Weber presents what he calls the four pillared man. As opposed to "blueprints", Weber calls these four pillars the "fingerprints...of the Artist" or the "four rythms in a man." These are:

- King

- Warrior

- Mentor

- Friend

To back up these pillars, Weber uses a host of examples from personal experience in the ministry, but also from his days serving in Vietnam. Speaking to the warrior in every man's heart, he gives example of men in his life that filled these pillar positions - though not necessarily doing so from the position of a "Christian authority." I think this adds to the fact that these pillars - at least in concept - are ingrained in us and evidence of God's hand upon us.

In the end, Weber calls us to, as Joe Stowell so aptly put it, "go beyond just being a male and discover what it meant to be a `man.'" The journey of a man is one of searching for purpose and initiation. And it's really nice to have a few "tender warriors" mentor us along the way to show us what's what. I really enjoyed Weber's perspective and point-driving illustrations. He also appears that he designed this for a small group setting. There are questions to discuss at the end of each chapter, and I think it would be ideal for a men's group, absolutely ideal.

As stated in the title, we have an opportunity to be "Every Woman's Dream" and "Every Child's Hope." While I'd be more interested in being "One Woman's Dream" at this point, I accept the premise. God's desire for me is not to wander aimlessly through my purpose, marriage (futuristicly speaking), and fatherhood (also futuristicly). Rather, it is to fulfill the purpose, dreams, and hopes that I was designed for. This book is a tool that can help me fulfill those roles. I'd like to be a four pillar man, and you can be too! (Hypothetically speaking.)

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. There is no requirement for me to give a positive review; it is just a good book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on October 22, 2012
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
I found this book to be very insightful and left me feeling motivated daily to be a better man and husband. I did find it challenging at times to understand the complexity of our inability to be this perfect yet at the same time the simplicity in what we are asked to do. Simple in the text, complex in reality. I am also fortunate to have a very loving Christian wife, I was wondering at times about men who don't have this and the challenges they must face. It would be interesting to discuss specific examples with Mr Weber and hear his thoughts. Maybe another book idea.....? Would love to read it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on July 10, 2008
Format: Paperback
A great book that explains how as men we can be warriors that God intended us to be but at the same time being tender to what God wants us to do. This is on my list to re-read eventually again just because it's that good. I would recommend this book to anyone who is Christian and looking for a good book from a great author.
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