Customer Reviews

Tenderheaded: A Comb-Bending Collection of Hair Stories

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Black women and their hair -- it's a loaded feminine topic, say Juliette Harris and Pamela Johnson (respectively editor of International Review of African-American Art and a columnist at Essence Magazine), in Tenderheaded, a wise, joyous anthology. All their sisters are "tenderheaded," or sensitive about their hair one way or another. Some could never stand the heat of a curling iron, while others feel their scalps sting at the mere sight of a fine-toothed comb. Others, reading W. E. B. Du Bois' comment that a woman "black or brown and crowned in curled mists" is "the most beautiful thing on earth," pat their own misty crowns and mutter, "mailman's hair: every knot's got its own route."

Reading this anthology feels a little like talking with your girlfriends, grown daughters, or favorite aunts on a lazy afternoon. Now and then a simpatico male drops by--maybe Peter Harris, gloating at finally having learned how to box-braid his six-year-old daughter's curls, or maybe Henry Louis Gates musing on the "kitchen," which isn't just the place at home where your mother and her sisters tended each other's hair but the place at the nape of the neck that's "Unassimilably African" because, says Gates, nothing can "de-kink" it.

Kinks can be a trial in a world where the fluid, silken tress is beauty's trademark. From the Sixties through the Eighties, if a black woman straightened her hair or wore extensions or a weave she was routinely accused of hating herself or insulting her race--the righteous and the rappers loved to diss fake or processed hair. Having naturally straight "good hair" has never been a picnic, either. Even if the "lucky" woman's friends weren't resentful, she missed out on the intimacy and catharsis of hair-wailing sessions, and if she decided on a short style she was said to have thrown her luck away.

Opinions are still divided, and everyone in these pages has a different one, whether the writer is Alice Walker or the great-great-granddaughter of Madam C.J. Walker, America's first black woman millionaire, whose hair care system gave dignified employment to thousands of impoverished women during Jim Crow times. Angela Davis discusses the Afro that made her a media icon, and bell hooks argues that hair-straightening is not about wanting to be white but about longing to grow up--the practice marks the graduation from braided girlhood into womanhood. Art historian Judith Wilson links the pompadours, hair extensions, turbans, and long fingernails popular in some American communities to African aesthetic traditions in which the self is ritually extended through deliberate overabundance and artifice in bodily decoration. Cherilyn Wright, in "If You Let Me Make Love to You, Then Why Can't I Touch Your Hair?" offers the hilarious survey she took among her friends, male and female, about how they handle lovemaking when a hot, damp breath can snap a woman's expensively sleeked hairstyle right back into its original "b-b's."

The book has a marvelous array of photographs, from archive-quality portraits of 19th-century toddlers to Topsy cartoons and Aunt Jemima ads, to Ugandan foreign minister Elizabeth Bagaaya in splendid basket-braids. A New York City matron wears a Muslim head-wrap, and Grace Jones a gorgeous fade. Whoopi Goldberg sports a spoofy yard-long platinum wig.

Best of all, Tenderheaded brings to life the millions of women who give each other their touch and their attention (if sometimes also heartaches or a headache) through the intimate rituals of washing, combing, trimming, oiling, braiding, pressing, winding, wrapping--caring for--each other's hair.

I picked up this book yesterday and have not put it down since! In is a wonderful collection of personal stories, historical tid bits, poems, articles, etc, about Black peoples and how we relate to our hair. I'm 'happily nappy' myself, and it's great just to be able to read some candid stories about my people and our feelings and struggles with our hair. There is a wonderful story about the first woman to go natural at Hampton University that mad me proud and want to cry at the same time; a story about a father who had to learn to braid his daughter's hair that mad me laugh out loud; a woman talking about why she loves her permed hair; Black women, their hair and sex, etc, etc. Whether or not you're natural, permed, texturized, sporting a wig, weave - whatever, this book is a must!!

Hang on to our horse hair, 100% human hair, relaxed, natural, dreadlocked or hot combed tresses. It's time to get down to the nappy truth about all the pros and cons of black hair. Harris and Johnson's "comb-bending collection" is a tell-it-like-it-is compilation of essays which give insight into what we and others think about it, the history behind our hair, and how it affects our lives...

In a society where European-style beauty still dominates, black women and men have had to deal with the fact that their hair is often quite different than the "ideal." We have, for this reason, struggled with our own self-esteem, questioned our beauty and ultimately, found ourselves fighting internalized racism... It is seen when we give special attention to the cute, little black girl with long, wavy hair, over the cute, little black girl with short, "nappy" hair....

The editors look at all varieties of black hair from a sociological and anthropological point of view, combing through how the hearts and minds of our diverse community feel and think about it....

An opinion held by one of the essayists is that relaxed hair is a survival strategy. It is not the pursuit of white beauty, but the pursuit of white power - the power that goes along with having these accepted white characteristics. There is even an essay written by a white woman who expresses her love of black hair and the hurt she felt in realizing that her young black friends were ashamed of their hair.

The book is comprised of diverse ideas including anecdotes reminiscent of African folktales and tidbits of information, like a "Love Drawing Spell to attract the guy/girl you've got your eye on - using his or your own hair"...

Readers will be moved to feel and think, as the book brings buried sentiments to the surface... Althia Gamble

As a "Tenderheaded" contributor, I happily accepted an invitation to join the editors at a book signing at Karibu, a bookstore in Prince Georges County, Maryland. Women purchasing the book eagerly shared their own "Tenderheaded" stories as they chatted with the editors. Even Carolivia Herron, author of "Nappy Hair," a bright and bold children's book, was there. Woes of career women struggling to achieve an "acceptable" workplace look; women who wanted more than anything else to simply be themselves and not submit to the dictates of the hair police, and still others who embraced corn rows as "the natural look," were some of the hair stories I overheard that February day.

The book's title derives partly from an essay by Meg Henson Scales who plumbs the depths of being tenderheaded. After reading her sensitive piece, one concludes that it is actually time to admit to being tenderheaded, which also encompasses being tender with life. To quote Scales, "When we bury the mythological strongblackwoman expectation, even one inhumanity a time, it can still rescue us from the massive belittlements we suffer daily; each time, changing the math, adding us up. It is self-evident hat we must now, for all of us, become Tenderheaded. Yes."

"Tenderheaded" editors Bowles and Johnson offer a many-hued painting of women and hair, replete with illustrations and photographs drawn from many sources. "Tenderheaded's" layout is design worthy-a delight to read. Bowles and Johnson open the door to an inclusive hair dialogue-natural, kinky, straight, relaxed, texturized, cornrows-everyone is welcome and it's time to accept that it's all good!

I predict that "Tenderheaded" will find it's way into required reading in a variety of college-level courses including those pertaining to African American, American and cultural studies.

This book is filled with short stories, poems, tiny tid bits, long personal accounts and much more. The stories date from pre-slavery days to today's "weave-wearin'" divas. I was amazed and sometimes saddened to read the accounts and ordeals of our early AA sistas from the struggles they endured and/or covered up for the sake of fitting in.

The issue of our hair is very complex and still prevalent today. This book covers the spectrum from those of us who love relaxed hair & the infamous straightening comb, to those of us who have embraced the natural texture of our hair.

With titles like "The Kink that Winked", "Fake", "All Time Top Hair Divas" and "Post Traumatic Tress Syndrome" the reader is taken on a journey filled with laughter and lessons, smiles and tears.

The Madame C.J. Walker story is very informative and brings fact to the myths about her. There are dozens of pictures and illustrations of different hair styles from the intricate braids and designs of African people to that big Afro of Angela Davis, locs of Whoopi, big hair of Patti LaBelle, close fade of Grace Jones and blonde wigs of Lil Kim and Mary J. Blige.

I recommend this book for women of all ages. It's history. There is a chapter entitled "Silver Foxes" for the wonderfully gray sistas out there. It is vital that we understand the origins of our links to our locks. Thank you Harris and Johnson for this intense collection. CLB.

You will love this exciting collection of stories, cartoons, folklore, art, historical photos and memorabilia. It will bring back wonderful memories for some and open the eyes of others. It is funny, informative, and particularly valuable to our understanding of both the politics and aesthetics of black hair. I recommend it highly!

This is a very unique book. I have to say I LOVED IT! My being a young black woman, all the stories hit close to home. This book gave a non-bias look at black women's hair, and black culture all around the world including here in America. It gave many view points, from men women, blacks and even whites. I recommed this book to anyone who is confused about their hair and themselves. Nappy is defiantly Happy!!!! Peace.

The book was all that, very positive, and at times emotional (I'm thinking of the passage where a father is trying to figure out how to braid his daughter's hair since her mother is across the country. His trying, and eventually getting it right, turned into bonding sessions for them. It was beautiful.) Of course the book had my favorite culture critic, bell hooks, and as usual she gave me a new persepective: to look at the whole "perm" phenomena as initiation into womanhood. Just about any Black woman who was on the brink of adolescence and was dying to get a perm should relate to that. I did. That's what this book does, it helps Black women to see just how similar our trials have been with our hair; and it's not just a generational thing. Black women from 50 to 80 years ago had the same issues and thoughts Black teenagers have today. Everyone remembers hot combs and Goody pink rollers and Royal Crown grease. Looking back many women had feelings of remembered pain, and not just from the burns on the tips of their ears and on their scalps, but inside their hearts for our collective struggle with an unattainable beauty standard.
What I also admired about this book was that it touched on the subject of hair and erotic intimacy. There was a whole section devoted to hearing the responses of Black women and men when confronted with the bedroom question: Can I run my fingers through your hair? It showed a depraved relation to our hair. In order to get and keep that salon fresh look, sleek and shiny, it must not be touched (by you and most especially your lover). Hair does not bring pleasure in the sense of us luxuriating in how it feels. How can you when it's not even yours? Weave. A woman tells the story of a young man with whom she was getting intimate with, and he wanted to run his fingers through her seemingly long shiny tresses. The moment was interrupted when he felt the hard tracks on her scalp before she could effectively slap his touch away. "You have to train these men early," another woman admonishes, "not to touch the hair." A man married for over 20 years complains of his wife's hair roller pins always poking him when she's "going down on him." He also hates, but has gotten used to, her wearing a head scarf anytime they make love. It is described in the book as Black folks having perpetual menege trios, he, she, and the head scarf. Another man wakes up to his girlfriend's "100% Korean Hair" all over the bed and floor after an especially heated night; he later ends up paying $200 dollars to have it all put back in again. The women speak of not even wanting to touch their own hair, refering to it being "hard as a rock" from gels and hair sprays. It's all in the name of a certain look, the processed one. (It's this look that lured their mates in the first place right?) It's sad that Black women talk about orchestrating certain sex positions around not messing up their fresh 'do. "You don't even think about it after while." They compensate not allowing their men to touch their hair with confidence and boldness in their performance, "It's so good he won't even be thinking about touching my hair."

I love this book. It isn't just politics or just us behind closed doors. Every possible reference to what is done to our hair is mentioned, even going bald. A Muslim woman opened my eyes to how not showing her hair takes away from having to compete for attentions based on beauty standards of hair, by being above them. It reminds us that as women, we shouldn't let physical beauty define us, even though most times it does, and we let it. "Ms. Strand" tells her tale with humor, cultural criticism, African storytelling, and 'round tha way truthfulness, barring nothing from the conversation. Truly, Tenderheaded should not be passed over.

From the symbolism of braiding and hairstyles in Africa to the customs and traditions of African American women and their hair there is so much history which connects all of us to our ancestors. Tenderheaded takes perspective from a diverse audience of authors- writers, anthropologists, beauticians, hiphop historians, poets, doctors, mothers and fathers share their stories and just how entangled hair is into every single facet of black life.

Definitions and explanations with detailed pictures and inspiring quotes are featured throughout Tenderheaded providing a vast array of entertaining and educational lessons. This book will evoke feelings varying from childhood nostalgia, passion for rights, romantic interludes, and a cultural solidarity. From natural hair to relaxed from wigs to weaves from afros to bald fades and every hair style in between no aspect of black hair is left untouched. Excellent read and thorough resource for every possessor, scholar, and admirer of all types of black hair.

....Tenderheaded, while long-winded and self-indulgent at times, is a great testament to our history and our hair. Not only does it traces our ever-changing styles, images and hair idols, but it's a wonderful timeline for our progress. If you or someone you know has hair issues, or you want to head off the tide of BS before it takes root in a new generation, this book is a must!!