Customer Reviews

Terror at Blood Fart Lake

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Blood Fart Lake has been cursed ever since a retarded boy was burned alive in a cornfield while hiding from bullies with firecrackers inside a scarecrow. Now he's out for revenge, wielding unusual implements for his dastardly acts of violence.

This film has much for the adventurous horror fan: alternative fuels, anal annihilation, and the greatest splooge scene in the history of film. From start to finish, Blood Fart Lake is chock full of plot twists, double entendres, and surprise endings. Gratuitous nudity tops off everything else, making this movie a complete thriller experience. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!!

Yes, this is a super low budget comic horror flick. Normally, I love low budget horror, especially horror with a comic component to it. But I'm not a fan of slapstick, and frankly, I hate it. This movie is slapstick, so draw your own conclusions on my view. The sad thing is if it werent for the slapstick, it could have been appealing to me. However, there were far too many characters trying to duplicate Rodney Dangerfield with ridiculous dialog and annoyingly affected voices. Some people enjoy very over the top type humor, and they might really enjoy this movie. So my suggestion is to understand that generally binary consideration - if you like slapstick and low budget, this is your movie. If not, there are far better options for spending your time.

So i saw this on a dare to watch the most terrible movies of all time, with a name like this i was sure i had a winner. i will say i knew immediately this was a microbudget film, but when i started laughing and didnt stop, i can honestly say, i was incredibly surprised i was thoroughly entertained. I love to pick on these movies but this one had enough laughs and stupidity in it to keep me watching. recommended if you can have an open mind and a silly ass sense of humor. 4 out of 5 stars.

There is nothing good about this and the fact that it's being sold for twenty seven American dollars is the most shocking part.

This movie will not scare you because nothing scarey happens. The movie is half way over before anyone gets killed... murder weapon in most scenes is an ear of corn.

This movie will not make you laugh because none of the actors are funny, though somehow they believe they are. Each one plays some cartoonish idiot whose voice you will be sick of within fifteen seconds of their first line. These aren't even parodies of horror movie characters... most have no place in horror whatsoever.

This movie will not arouse you because there are only four girls in it. Three of the four are pasty, fat, and blubbery. The fourth (on the cover) is a scrawny, boney-chested, underfed little thing who only shows her mosquito bites for about twenty seconds.

It looks like some high school drama class who took the low road to nowhere ended up in this stinker. Most of the dialogue they spend talking about graphic sex that never happens, t-shirts they'd like to sell you, or referencing other horror movies any one of which is ten times better than this piece of crap.

Do not spend a single nickel on this worthless schlock; don't even bother to watch it. If you're too stupid to take that good advice, then at least go download it on the internet for free somewhere so that none of the human waste who contributed to this movie sees penny one from it.

If there were a way to award this zero stars, I would.

THIS MOVIE IS ONE OF THE BEST FROM WRITER/DIRECTOR CHRIS SEAVER. IT'S REALLY CHEESY AND HILARIOUS. I LOVE IT AND WOULD SUGGEST IT TO ANY HORROR/COMEDY FAN, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'VE SEEN ANY OF CHRIS SEAVER'S OTHER FILMS. CHECK THIS MOVIE OUT AND LOOK FOR THE SEQUEL, WHICH IS COMING SOON.

When I was at Cannes, among the stars of both on the screen and behind the camera, there was the usual buzz over which films were contenders for the prestigious Palme d'Or; with names like Tarantino, Allen, Almodovar and Boll it was anyone's guess. However, the majority of the buzz was not surrounding those auteurs, it was around a wildcard independent film as I and many others kept hearing five words over an over: Terror At Blood Fart Lake.

Well, needless to say when I finally got to attend a screening I was as excited as a fat girl on a first date. The lights went down, the film came on and I was immediately transported into the whimsical world of Terror At Blood Fart Lake.

Sometimes quite deep with it's message, yet at other times heartwarming and funny, TABFL creates an extrodinary vision of man's indomitable spirit and triumphs over adversity on screen. I dare say there was not a dry eye in the house by the end of the film. With great cinematography reminiscent of such classics as Mom's 40th Birthday, Christmas '89 and Jenny's Dance Recital and a cast of actors ready to join the pantheon of such great thespians as Carrot Top, Jodie Sweetin and Mariah Carey, this is a modern-day fairy tale and an instant classic not to be missed!

I have previously held that "The Underground Comedy Movie" was the worst movie I have ever seen, now I'm not so sure; "Terror at Blood Fart Lake" has a more cohesive plot versus being based on individual gags, but it's certainly within striking distance of the summit of wretchedness. I love camp; I love spoofs; I love low budget movies of all genres, but this was almost too much to be endured.

The film is incredibly cheap, which I was hoping to be part of its charm. Wrong. It's just cheap. It opens with a guy named Hambone (Billy Garberina) who says things like "everything's going to be square as a rhombus" (which is mathematically possible, but not germane to the scene in any way) while constantly referring to himself in the third person. He is at a T-shirt making retreat (?) at Blood Fart Lake, and has invited his friends for a wild weekend. Hambone actually provides the single most amusing moment in the film simply by wearing a "C.H.U.D." shirt. Mercifully Hambone meets his fate before the credits even roll. Sadly, though, all the remaining characters in the film are even more unlikable.

After the credits we meet five slackers in a Chevy Cavalier who are on their way to see Hambone. When they run out of gas in the woods crazy Leo (Josh Suire) intercepts them and warns them about Blood Fart Lake, as it's haunted by the ghost of Jimmy Van Brunt (also Billy Garberina,) who was killed in a tragic scarecrow immolation incident years earlier. After Leo fills their gas tank (you don't want details) they proceed to the cabin and, of course, Hambone is not there. Caspian (also Josh Suire,) a demented lunatic in an afro wig, introduces himself as the cabin's caretaker and attacks them with a plastic pink flamingo. Although it's been bad up to this point, Caspian's introduction makes it clear that the remainder of the movie will depend nearly exclusively on scatological comments and inappropriately-used expletives as a substitute for real humor.

In the cabin the cast introduces themselves as a convenient method of providing backstory, and while it's hard to single out the most noxious cast member, the cinema diva, Gwen (Jesse Ames,) has no difficulty winning out. Obnoxious, unfunny, and contributing nothing of substance to the plot (not that there's much there to start with) makes Gwen my choice for the character I would like to see eliminated by the scarecrow at the first available opportunity. The cast decides to hold an Ernest P. Worrell film festival (I am not making this up) but first decide to tell scary stories, which fills us in on Jimmy's death.

Although this film is perhaps the least imaginative spoof I have ever seen, I will give the filmmakers credit for having the scarecrow's murder weapon be corn on the cob. It turns out that corn can cause very traumatic injuries in ways you probably hadn't ever contemplated. I will also begrudgingly say that I found the concept of assault with an industrial stapler to be a modestly amusing concept. What I could have done entirely without was the vacuum cleaner-cottage cheese murder scene, which is not only stupid, but even more tasteless than the rest of the film. (Up to this point.)

Eventually Caspian reveals himself to be behind all the mayhem (now there's a surprise...) and to control Jimmy the scarecrow, who is his "death machine." Eventually Leo and Thunder Ambrosia (Nicola Fiore,) Caspian's sister and Sasquatch-trained superheroine show up to rescue the remaining cast members, which all turns into a huge fight about a Prince album. (I swear.) During the final fight there is not only a dreadful career retrospective of Gwen on her deathbed in black and white (yes, sadly she lasted this long,) but the lamest dance routine you have ever in your whole life seen. Ultimately, Thunder seals Caspian's evil fate in what may be the most disgusting concept in film history (note: the leeches are the good part) while Dixieland music plays.

I don't see how this film could possibly be worse. It is not funny as a spoof, not scary as a horror movie, has the worst, least-funny dialogue ever committed to posterity, and no credible reasons for existing other than a funny title and some corn. There's a commentary track, and I watched some of it, but it's not enlightening and is mostly self-indulgent conversation. In short: there was no good reason to even consider watching the movie all the way through a second time.

I know it's a spoof, and I know it trades on its low budget, but that doesn't excuse a bad movie. While I love camp classics and B-movies of all types, this is just plain vile.

Seriously. This movie rocks. Nicola Fiore is a major hottie. And there are a lot of great things about this movie, but $25 - $30 plus shipping for the DVD?!! Come on, guys. You barely spent $30 making this movie.

I actually watched this movie, until I could not take it any more. I am a big fan of indy budget horror, and trust me this is the worst FILM ever made. They have no talent, they look like dropouts from a school full of losers. I can't believe anyone would follow this CRAP. I REPEAT this is the worst movie ever made. NO script, not funny, directing non existent. Anyone who watches this drivel is either below the age of 21 and has no brain cells left in their brain. Or an IQ of a rock!!! STAY VERY FAR AWAY!!