Customer Reviews

Terry: My Daughter's Life-and-Death Struggle with Alcoholism

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4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Former South Dakota senator, and one time Presidential hopeful, George McGovern relates the sad story of his daughter Terry, who's alcoholism finally killed her when she passed out in a snowfilled alley outside of a bar one cold December night. With an objective honest and insight into both his daughter and the nature of addiction, McGovern tells how him middle daughter grew up and became mired in an inescapable quicksand of addiction. Having recently lost my wife to the ravages of this disease (ironically this book was one of hers and one she quite enjoyed reading) I can relate to McGovern's feelings of anger, frustration, and helpless regret over how the disease warped both his daughter's spirit and mind. This book is an essential for anyone who has ever had to battle, or has a loved who battles, this wretched, life eating disease. Highest recommendation.

I read this book when it first came out. At the time I was suffering from depression and alcoholism. I wept as I read the pages because I knew that I too could end up like Terry. I felt for Terry and her family all through out the book. I also realized how my family must have felt and how they might feel if I too fell victim to myself and alcohol. You have to give credit to the courageouls George McGovern to share his families sacred secrets and tradgedy. This is a must have book for anyone who is an alcoholic, heavy drinker or depressed or anyone who knows or lives with an alcoholic or heavy drinker.

I heard George McGovern talking about this book on NPR when it first came out, but it wasn't till recently that i had a chance to read it. I thoroughly enjoyed it, because it gave me some insight on addiction that i did not have before. Sen. McGovern's intentions in writing this book are laudable, and i have a lot of respect for him. I can only imagine how painful it must have been to research the material (Terry's journals, social workers' reports, etc), and to actually write the book and go through those memories. He is sincere and acknowledges his responsibility as a father, and does not try to place blame on alcohol, society, or many of the other targets of anti-abuse groups. Terry might as well have been born with CF, because she suffered from (in her case) an incurable disease. If you want to understand the incredible power of addiction, this book is a great place to start.

First of all, my hat off to George McGovern for making this sad, personal tragedy public. Most families who had a son or daughter who spiriled as far out of control as Terry did would try to bury@the memory deep in guilt or shame. McGovern chooses to show us by example that, no matter how much money or expertise you throw at finding a solution to a "killer problem,"@in some cases an answer always remains elusive, a mystery. The man tried nearly everything humanly possible to help save his child - nothing worked, all the highest paid experts failed. This story is every parent's nightmare. If I were an educator of high authority, I would make this book mandatory reading for every high school student in the United States to clearly show what kind of drug they are messing with in alcohol - it's not a pretty picture.

George McGovern honors the memory of his daughter, and struggles to understand his own choices and mistakes in this powerfully moving and tragic story. Deep thanks and deep condolences are due McGovern for writing this book. He raises an issue that must be emphasized: his daughter fell victim to the self-pity and the delusions of the "wounded child" craze of the early '90s. She was aided and abetted by reckless "therapists" who encouraged her to blame all her problems on her family, her upbringing, and especially her parents. The greatest tragedy of Terry McGovern's life was not that she was an alcoholic, but that she was an alcoholic who refused to use the tools available to her to get better. Exactly why she made that choice can never be fully known. But clearly the healthiest, most productive, and most sane years of her life were the 8-years she was treating her alcoholism in AA (which is not the "secret society" absurdly referred to by an earlier reviewer; an organization open to all of the public and listed in the telephone book is not a secret society). AA teaches the need to take responsibility for one's actions, not blame Mommy and Daddy. Terry chose not to take responsibility, and instead descended into the quicksand of psychobabble and infantilization of the "inner-child," recovered memory, Blame-Everything-On-Your-Parents school of late 20th century American psychology. The destructiveness of this philsophy and its practitioners needs to be more fully revealed. Everyone interested in this problem as well as in alcoholism should read this book.

It is really emotionally hard to read George McGovern's anguished account. This guy must have still been in deep torment when he penned it. Page after page you see him struggle for answers...he must spend many a day reviewing his own actions to see if there was anything hee could have done different. Lots of parents write books about their deceased children, but this one is just so honest that I could not put it down...literally. I picked it up after dinner and finished it at 4:30 the next morning.

'Terry' is the heart-wrenching tale of the life and death of Terry, daughter of George McGovern. I was reduced to tears in the book's first 40 pages as he recounts her tragic death. The book was very personal to me because I have lost a daughter (in an auto accident) and alcohol abuse and dependence have disrupted my life. Of course, the setting is familiar to me as a resident of the Madison area (indeed the Teresa McGovern Treatment Center is located adjacent to my favorite local place to walk). And McGovern's quixotic 1972 presidential campaign was the first of many political campaigns upon which I have worked.

Teresa McGovern simply could not stop drinking and in the end effectively drank herself to death. The book tells the excruciatingly sad tale how this bright, sensitive girl grew into an alcohol dependent. Despite untold attempts by herself and her family to get her to stop drinking, in the end the booze won.

The book is a cautionary tale for 'recovered alcoholics' - Terry did stop drinking for some 8 years and had several other substantial bouts of sobriety. In the end, sobriety was more painful than drinking despite the incredibly painful consequences of her drinking. If you think you have the booze beaten, remember that it lurks in wait for you.

The book does highlight the lack of any predictably succesful treatment for alcoholism. She tried many times to get cured, although she did not, apparently, try any non-AA programs. In one section McGovern simply records police, hospital, and detox center reports as she was taken repeatedly to detox. At the end of her life she was basically drinking to the point of incoherence and incontinence every day. One does wonder why the authorities did not attempt to have her committed involuntarily - but whether that would that have worked is highly doubtful.

One thing McGovern does not mention is the woefully inadequate insurance coverage for AODA treatment. Even if you have insurance, it is likely that your policy severely limits the amount that will be paid to cover treatment.

A powerful, honest, deeply felt book. The reader wants to reach out to McGovern and remind him that, in fact, he did try to help his daughter, it didn't work and her death from alcohol abuse really was not his fault. To drink or not to drink - only the drinker decides.

This story holds a grip on me that I can't get over. Maybe I am like George McGovern myself in that I too can't explain what causes a beloved child in the family to grow up and self destruct. This story haunts me in that I am watching my own daughter at the age of 43 create similar suffering for every member of her family and friends who love her. I relate so strongly to the McGovern family on every page of this book, even to our own happy 50th wedding anniversary last year, that it frightens me based on Terry's tragic outcome just a year after the McGovern's celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary. At the same time, I am so grateful for McGovern's advice as to what he would have done differently, especially in the last several months of Terry's life. I just bought several books for family members, and one to donate to a Milwaukee area hospital Women's Pavillion library that has every subject covered but alcoholism! This book documents one of the most heart rending accounts of alcohol addiction that I could ever imagine. Your tears may stain these pages, but Terry is continuing to help others, like me as she did in life through the courages words of her father.

I found 'Terry' an interesting, disturbing, educational read. My ex-husband is an alcoholic, and parts of this book were like reading about him - most reassuring to know I was not the only one to experience such traumas. I think this book is well worth reading for anyone with alcoholism in their family.

This book is written with a rare mix of objectivity and emotional power, as you can see by reading the previous reviews. Everyone loves it, while coming to different conclusions about what could have been done differently to try to save Terry; McGovern does an excellent job of letting the events speak for themselves. For me, the truth comes out in Terry's own words (from her diary), which McGovern quotes extensively. She initially took refuge in alcohol as an escape from her various demons (an abortion, a difficult relationship with her parents, academic difficulties). Of course there's nothing remarkable about this, but that's the point--this could happen to anyone's child, and does. Finally, at the end of her life, even as she seems to be coming to grips with the issues that drove her to alcohol in the first place, her alcoholism has taken over her life so completely that she is too weak to fight back. She knows full well what is happening but won't or can't stop it.

I didn't like this book quite as much as the other reviewers, mostly because of the chapter where the author tells us how to "fix" the problem of alcoholism (no points for guessing how)--this is McGovern the politician talking, in the same simplistic hyperbole as always. But that diminishes the book's power only slightly, because this book is mostly about McGovern the father. I can't imagine anyone with children not being moved by it.