Amazon.com: Texas Hold 'em: How I Was Born In A Manger, Died In The Saddle, And Came Back As A Horny Toad (9780312347468): Kinky Friedman, John Callahan: Books

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Texas Hold 'em: How I Was Born In A Manger, Died In The Saddle, And Came Back As A Horny Toad
 
 
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Texas Hold 'em: How I Was Born In A Manger, Died In The Saddle, And Came Back As A Horny Toad [Large Print] [Paperback]

Kinky Friedman (Author), John Callahan (Illustrator)
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)


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Paperback, Large Print, June 30, 2005 --  

Book Description

June 30, 2005
"Texas Hold 'Em is more than just a card game. It deals…with that fine, forgotten art of playing a poor hand well…Texas Hold 'Em is a state of mind, a spiritual survival technique, a way of holding on to things that might just be important in this ever-changing world." --from the introduction to Texas Hold 'Em

The irrepressible, future Governor of Texas is back with a crusade to stop the wussification of the Lone Star State. He never thought he'd see the day when he'd miss gun racks in the back windows of pickup trucks, but he almost does. He misses the days when cowboy shirts never had buttons and coffee with a friend was still a dime. Many of the stubborn, dusty, weather-beaten little towns, roads, trucks, jeeps, people and animals are gone now. Like it or not, the peaceful, scenic bucolic Hill Country of his childhood is being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century.

His is at his outrageous best as he gives Americans a look at the state made famous by the Alamo, the armadillo, Willie Nelson, and, well, Kinky Friedman. Texas Hold 'Em is composed of provocative essays, including autobiographical pieces that are at times bittersweet and at other hilarious, profiles of such stellar Texans as his friend, Willie Nelson, as you've never seen him before, George W. Bush, and Racehorse Haynes, and a treasure trove of lists, quizzes , including:

If the Ten Commandments Were Written by a Texan
Tex My ride
Texas Firsts
What Kind of Texas Driver Are you?

As an added diversion, the book is decorated with cartoons by the brilliant John Callahan, particularly appealing to those whose lives are spiraling downward into tailspins of despair.

Texas Hold 'Em is the way in which the Kinkster plays the game of life. To him, Texas Hold' Em means holding on to what is dear to him, to the things that made him who he is, always remembering that the most important things in life aren't things. An old cowboy philosophy of life sums it up -- "hang on tight, spur hard, and let 'er buck."

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The Kinkster, "Kinky's term of endearment for himself," has been busy churning out the pages (three books last year; two so far this year), even as he prepares to run for governor of Texas in 2006. Given the successes of Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Kinkster figures he could be a governor, too; since governors don't do any "heavy lifting," he could do "some spiritual lifting," perhaps referring to his vow "to fight the wussification" of Texas. Apart from arguing for know-nothings in politics, Friedman supplies his readers with a great number of lists: Texas cheerleaders, Texas inventions, Texas oddities, Texas prison slang, etc. He even tries his hand at a bit of pop sociology, pondering the number of former Eagle Scouts on Texas's death row: "The Boy Scouts don't allow non-Christians or gays in their organization. You would think that would weed out the nutters but apparently not." Although in the end, it's clear Friedman doesn't have much to say about anything, his many fans will probably set aside a couple of nights' beer money for this latest collection, enhanced by the cartoons of John Callahan.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

Praise for Kinky Friedman:

"The new Mark Twain."--Southern Living

"The Mother Teresa of literature."--Willie Nelson

"A Texas legend."--George W. Bush

"Sometimes he's outrageous. Most of the time, he's outrageously funny."--People

"Spreads more joy than Ross Perot's ears."--Molly Ivins
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 243 pages
  • Publisher: St Martins Pr (June 30, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312347464
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312347468
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.2 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,092,846 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

8 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.1 out of 5 stars (8 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars You Don't Have to Play Poker to Enjoy This, September 23, 2005
By 
L. Charles Wimer III (Coatesville, PA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Texas Hold'em is Kinky Friedman at his best. Full of annedotes and commentary. No subject is off limits. I must admit, if you are from Texas (which I am not) you will surely get more laughs then a Yankee. Kinky takes the reader on a variety of rides through his mind, refusing to stop even when the trails become muddy. The book is so good, you will have to reread it just to make sure you got all it. Texas Hold em' is easy to read -- whether on a horse or on a train or sitting in a recliner. Nothing complicated, just a bunch of a essays that make the book very difficult to put down. I hope this isn't the last we've heard from the Kinkster.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Kinky really comes into his own with this book!, October 29, 2005
I've been a long time fan of Kinky and read all of his novels.Now, he has gotten away from his 'off the wall' mysteries with their wonderful characters.Kinky is one of the most gifted and entertaining authors around today.He can come up with a one-liner as good as anyone around.Without even a seconds pause,he can make the political correct run for cover.As a Jewish Country singer he has no equal,especially when you realize he comes from New York and is completely at home in Redneck Texas.

Right now he is in the process of runing fot Governor of Texas.One can never tell what the results of an election will be,but somehow I think that worse things could happen than he wins.

In this book he explains many facets of life, as can be seen in some of these quotes,and even gives us some insight into how things will be done under his Governorship.

"The question is whether a candidacy is a joker or whether the current crop of politicans is the joker."

"My platform is to fight the wussification of this great state and bring back the glory of Texas."

"To be elected in Texas one must believe in a Supreme Being."

He also passes on other wisdom;such as:

"You know you're from Texas if you've been married and divorced five times and still have the same in-laws.

"I had the rare distinction of being introduced by the Rev.Jimmy Snow as the first full blooded Jew to appear on The Grand Ole Opry."

"Saddam's a thug with an excellent tailor."

"As old Austinites used to say;"Onward through the fog."

I guarantee ,if you pick up this book;you'll have a hard time putting it down.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Humor, History, Philosophy, Fundamental Knowledge, August 24, 2005
Kinky is running for Gov. Well why not? Do you really think he could do any worse? If nothing else, his press conferences should be funny enough that the networks should carry them nationwide. It would be good to hear him talk to the press rather than a true politician who has studied not to not say anything for years.

This book is a series of little stories, a bit of philosophy, a bit of wisdom, a bit of knowledge (where else would you learn that Dr. Pepper is the oldest of the major brand soft drinks in America - started in Texas of course).

Most of his commentary relates to Texas. I particularly like his words on Texas drivers. But he shouldn't say that they are all in Texas. I know a lot of them in several other states. Maybe they're all from Texas.

I'm going to finish this review with a quotation - after this, what else is left to say: 'if English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for Texas.
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Texas Hold `Em is more than just a card game. Read the first page
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Jerry Jeff, Willie Nelson, New York, John Wayne, Eagle Scout, Texas Hold, Hill Country, White House, Bob Dylan, Texas Jewboys, United States, San Antonio, Echo Hill, University of Texas, Fort Worth, Liquid Paper, Billy Joe Shaver, Lone Star State, Boy Scouts, John Callahan, Laura Bush, Little Jewford, Lyle Lovett, Miss Texas, New Orleans
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