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The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man [Kindle Edition]

Simon Woolcot
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $9.99
Kindle Price: $1.99
You Save: $8.00 (80%)
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Book Description

"I have 15 tailor made suits and over 50 shirts that I can wear for work. To ensure that I don't repeat the same combinations too often, I keep a spreadsheet that notes which suits were worn with which shirts and ties on which day."



Meet Simon Woolcot, named Amsterdam's shallowest man by his best female friend, he's out to prove her wrong by keeping a diary of his life for a month.



Follow his adventures in fine dining, exclusive fashion, strip clubs, male grooming, the red light district and his never ending love of women. One legged hit men, organised crime, and Dutch culture all come under the microscope of a shallow man, a sinner that commits all seven deadly sins. From Lust to Greed, from Gluttony to Wrath, during the four week period featured in the diary.



Based on the controversial and popular Blog, the Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man. The book provides insights into Amsterdam through the eyes of a spoiled Expat.

Learn the answers to such critical questions as why do so many Dutch people wear denim and brown shoes? Why are Dutch women so loud? How to navigate the Dutch dating scene. Is it possible to take Taxi's in Amsterdam and not be ripped off?

Plus what is the Dutch Zwarte Piet (Black Pete) controversy that has the UN so excited?



All actions have consequences and his lifestyle leads to major problems in his personal and professional life before culminating in the shocking conclusion.



Will Simon realize how shallow his life is before it's too late?


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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Simon Woolcot is a privileged Expat who came to Amsterdam from London for a six month assignment and has remained for nine years. Planning is obviously not his strong point. He spends his time commenting on various aspects of life in Holland on the Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man Blog: amsterdamshallowman.com

Product Details

  • File Size: 523 KB
  • Print Length: 200 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1493595962
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00G9GNUAQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #35,436 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Immensely entertaining December 29, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Simon Woolcot’s ‘The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man’ dropped my jaws and left it there—seriously. Hilarious and fascinating at turns, Woolcot’s personal account of his adventures while living as an expat in the Netherlands is unapologetically funny—he is a fashion-conscious bad-ass with a sharp eye for the ridiculous and the wit to turn it into something that could leave you laughing on the floor.

For some reason, Woolcot reminds me of hugh Grant’s character in ‘About a Boy’, especially his now-immortal line, “Really, I’m this shallow.” But Woolcot takes it from there and ups the ante—the way he “unleashes” himself upon the unsuspecting Dutch public produces enough laughter to power a small village.

And then there’s Woolcot’s writing—witty, acidic, and constantly entertaining, and incredibly funny. Woolcot doesn’t pull his punches when he describes colleagues, potential romantic conquests and cultural impressions about the Dutch. Many times throughout reading I found myself laughing my head off at the author’s unexpected turns of phrase.

I love this book to shreds. A work of comic genius, ‘The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man’ is something that you will either keep on your shelf to show off to friends when they come over, or sent as a gift to like-minded acquaintances or loved ones. Do yourself a favour and do both—a five-star book like this one deserves it.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book!! December 7, 2013
Format:Paperback
Amazing book to read!! The moment you start to read its almost impossible to stop.
A story about an expat in Amsterdam and all of his adventures. Its written with a lot of humor and almost impossible not to laugh while reading. Simon Woolcat his blog was already amazing and now finally the book is there to make it even better. Cant wait until the next book!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sin City November 4, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I haven't read such an entertaining book for quite a while! - Couldn't stop once I started! To find a good comedy read - I must admit - is not an easy thing to do in this era of world recession, crime and horror topics that flow all over the media lately. As a fan of the 'Amsterdam confessions of a Shallow Man' blog I was happy to see the book being released. - Love the writing style, the thoughts supported by very well picked (often hilarious) metaphors, the sharpness and boldness of the saying and the way Simon Woolcot uses his remarkable British sense of humor to talk about the Dutch culture while walking us through his character's spicy adventures in Amsterdam.

If you have lived in Amsterdam for a while like I do, you are likely to confess that big part of the Shallow Man's observations are reflecting the controversial sweet or sour truth around the Dutch; if you haven't lived in Amsterdam, there is plenty to explore on fine dining, bars, habits, expat life, relationship...but in both cases - Remember!....You must be able to look at the world with the appropriate level of sense of humor to enjoy the book to the maximum!

Sex and the City of Amsterdam - you can find plenty of both in this book! Enjoy responsibly! :)
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Delightfully Droll December 24, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I bought this book as I had a feeling I’d be in for a few good laughs and I wasn’t mistaken.

Simon is a London expat settled into Amsterdam.

Delightfully droll, Simon is someone I’d love to have at my dinner parties.

I must remember the phrase “wounded weasel voice” as that was one of the best descriptions I’ve come across. The book was chock full of chuckles that originated after reading phrases like that one.

The book takes place in Amsterdam and with a little digging I found out the author actually started with a blog with a growing fan base- and no wonder.

I urge you to check his blog but - buy this book first.

His escapades (and descriptions of others escapades) will have you laughing and possibly doing that piggy snort thing people do when they laugh so hard they can’t stop.

I do advise not to be drinking or eating anything while you read his book unless you have excellent composure. I nearly sprayed my latte at the coffeehouse when I was reading this book yesterday.

Endlessly hysterical. Thumbs up!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh Out Loud Tale About Social Aspects of Amsterdam December 5, 2013
Format:Paperback
Laugh Out Loud Tale About Social Aspects of Amsterdam

The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man is a humorous book about the lives and social aspects of Dutch people. Simon Woolcot shares his insights and observations as a privileged Expat living in Amsterdam.

Woolcot takes on the dating scene, food, fashion women, and much, much more.

This entertaining book will keep you chuckling all the way through. A little British humor mixed with a single man's wisdom makes for an enjoyable read.

Great Book!!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
What an entertaining book! Very well written. A mixture of good old British humor, a keen eye for the Dutch 'culture' (if there is one!?) and a gifted pen make this a hilarious book. The descriptions of boring Dutch men, their hairstyles and woman who shout out loud that they are going for a piss -"Ik ga plassen!"- is as funny as it is true! Once you start reading it's difficult to stop and people will find you laughing out loud.
For Dutchies with a good sense of humor and for their overseas friends who had the pleasure of living in or around Amsterdam or just have a bunch of Dutch co-workers or friends.

If you just want to read a good comic book whilst on your way to Amsterdam and you could use some helpful pointers for wining and dining in Amsterdam, this is a great book too!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars It is an amusing read...
The book is rather amusing and becomes really interesting by the end. Sadly it i a bit too short. Nevertheless if youare looking for light and funny book give it a chance.
Published 21 days ago by Raffaele Imbriaco
3.0 out of 5 stars Satire????
I assume that this was supposed to be a satirical book/essay. As such,it is moderately amusing. As with all good satirical writing, while the humor definitely comes through, the... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Catcher50
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting book
Quite an interesting book - it did end way too abruptly though. would have liked some more explanation and closure. Read more
Published 1 month ago by kasher
3.0 out of 5 stars Pity, it could have been much better!
Simon Woolcot (the author and not the subject of the book) has the ingredients that could have made this book very good indeed. Read more
Published 1 month ago by medfair
3.0 out of 5 stars Boring
Fairly quick and easy read, but for the most part it was boring. Blog worthy but not a book. The ending felt like the author suddenly realized it needed one, whipped up a scenario,... Read more
Published 2 months ago by lee bowen-bradshaw
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutly funny and colorfull writing
Woolcot is the king of funny metaphors, describing his hedonistic expat life in Amsterdam contrasted with Duchies over the top down to earthness . Read more
Published 2 months ago by Willem-Hein Couwenberg
4.0 out of 5 stars Very Funny
It was quite funny. A quick read that give you some insight into the Dutch psyche. I would recommend it if your looking for something entertaining.
Published 2 months ago by K. Spaulding
2.0 out of 5 stars Meh.
A monotonous and not particularly well written account of life abroad. I've read more entertaining treatises by high school sophomores, and as dumb as kids are now, that's saying... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Katt Masterson
5.0 out of 5 stars Quite Witty
There's not much better than laughter and I love a book that makes me laugh. The Amsterdam Confessions doesn't just make me chuckle, it has me in stitches at times. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Let's Read Charles
5.0 out of 5 stars Original and creative
The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man is not only one of the most unique reads that I have read in awhile, but also one of the most well-written with a great amount of clever... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Jane Lavuire
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More About the Author

Simon Woolcot, some might say he's a legend in his own mind, others call him a nuisance who should go back to London.

Simon Woolcot is a privileged Expat who came to Amsterdam from London for a six month assignment and has remained for nine years. Planning is obviously not his strong point. He spends his time commenting on various aspects of life in Holland on the Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man Blog.

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