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The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict [Paperback]

Arbinger Institute
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (206 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 1, 2008 1576755843 978-1576755846 1
What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? And what if individually and collectively we systematically misunderstand that cause, and unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve?
Through an intriguing story of parents struggling with their troubled children and with their own personal problems, "The Anatomy of Peace" shows how to get past the preconceived ideas and self-justifying reactions that keep us from seeing the world clearly and dealing with it effectively. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other's ethnic cousins. As the story unfolds, we discover how they came together, how they help warring parents and children to come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down. The choice between peace and war lies within us. As one of the characters says, "A solution to the inner war solves the outer war as well." This book offers more than hope -- it shows how we can prevent the conflicts that cause so much pain in our lives and in the world.

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The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict + Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The premise of this follow-up to Leadership and Self-Deception is simple: people whose hearts are at peace do not wage war, whether they're heads of state or members of a family. In this semi-fictional narrative ("inspired by actual events") illustrating the principles of achieving peace, the setting is a two-day parent workshop at an Arizona-based wilderness camp for out-of-control teenagers, but the storyline is a mere setting for an instruction manual. Workshop facilitators Yusuf al-Falah, a Palestinian Arab whose father was killed by Israelis in 1948, and Avi Rozen, an Israeli Jew whose father died in the Yom Kippur War, use examples from their domestic lives and the history of their region to illustrate situations in which the normal and necessary routines of daily life can become fodder for conflict. Readers observe this through the eyes of one participant, a father whose business is in nearly as much trouble as his teenage son. The usefulness of the information conveyed here on how conflicts take root, spread and can be resolved more than compensates for the pedestrian writing.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From the Inside Flap

"A BOOK THAT COULD CHANGE THE FACE OF HUMANITY." —Marion Blumenthal Lazan, holocaust survivor and bestselling author

"After years of applying these ideas with youth and their parents, I can say that this is powerful medicine for the soul. These ideas change hearts, heal deep wounds, and bring parents and children together." —Mike Merchant, President and Chief Executive Officer, Anasazi Foundation

"A stunning work of wisdom and insight…. Everyone, from neighbors to the heads of nations, ought to read and live the teachings of this book." —Kent H. Murdock, President and CEO, O.C. Tanner

"Profound in depth, yet simple in message—an astounding work of immense impact, both personally and professionally. This is the next major lever in terms of how organizations improve performance." —Nick Jessett, Programme Manager, Rolls Royce

"This is a masterful and important work that shows how we blame others for problems we ourselves have created. It gently leads the reader to take a hard look in the mirror." —Scott Barton, Sr. VP, Capital One

"To adopt the essence of this book is the true roadmap for peace." —Eytan Bentsur, Former Director General, Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 231 pages
  • Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers; 1 edition (May 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1576755843
  • ISBN-13: 978-1576755846
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (206 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,581 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
129 of 133 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Marriage Lifeline September 15, 2006
By freeezn
Format:Hardcover
My husband and I were days away from divorce. We were each given a copy of this book the night before our court appearance by a dear friend. He could see how much pain both of us were in and wanted desperately to help us. He had already attended The Arbinger Institutes training and had read all of their books; most recently, this book. He knew how powerful its message is to the right heart.

There was a lot that transpired during the 18 hours preceding the court hearing. A lot of this book was read. Hearts were softened & changed and two prideful, selfish individuals became new people. I don't use this lightly when I say it helped facilitate a miracle in our lives. We have a long ways to go, but at least we will be traveling it together and we now have hope for ourselves, and for our marriage and "The Anatomy of Peace" has much to do with it.
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44 of 45 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book! July 9, 2006
Format:Hardcover
I stayed up until 3:00 in the A.M. the day that I received the book and finished it that same day. It's the prequel to Leadership & Self Deception, and it continues to develop many of the same principles. In this book, however, they step away from the business atmosphere, and focus on changing yourself to effect change in relationships in the home, and between nations. I am confident that if everyone in the world read and understood the principles in this set of books, it would literally solve most all of the world's problems; problems at homes and with families, problems in the workplace, and problems between societies and governments. At the very least this book will change your perspective and change your life. It's due out in August, and I recommend it to everyone. [...]
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59 of 64 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of those rare "EVERYONE NEEDS A COPY" books September 6, 2006
Format:Hardcover
I read this while taking a train to a meeting, and when I got back on the train, I re-read the entire book all over. I was absolutely blown away. The authors of the book, the Arbinger Institute, have discovered the secret to world peace--and to domestic tranquility in your marriage and family as well.

Coming as I do from a turbulent family, I recognized the push-pull issues that make people enemies who should love each other. And I recognized when in my life I decided to have peace in my heart and when I chose to be at war in my heart instead--and what the results were. Here is a system of engaging with everyone you meet in order to have peaceful relations.

The book starts with a story about a family taking their paroled drug-dealing son to a desert retreat and rehabilitation program run by an improbable pair of an Israeli and and Arab. The parents drop off the children and then spend a couple of days with the program therapists before leaving the kids behind. Suprise; the book is NOT about the desert survival experience of the kids; we only learn of this obliquely throughout the book. Instead, the parents learn how to deal with each other and their world with a peaceful heart. The system of teaching involves some parables, stories, charts and a pyramid starting at the top with "correction" but supported below with teaching, listening, and otherwise dealing lovingly with your fellow man.

The philosophy of Martin Buber is some of the basis for these important teachings. Buber stated that people either dealt with each other as I-YOU or as I-IT. When people deal with others as "it", we get everything from the person who is yapping on a cell phone while they carelessly careen through a parking lot to wholesale slaughter of people for being the wrong religion or race. From Buber's teaching, we learn how peace in our hearts is when we deal with I-YOU and when we turn our hearts to war, we've turned them to I-IT.

This is a most important book and I recommend that everyone get a copy of it and read it. And read it again. Your life will NOT be the same. It will be better.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Good service.
Met all expectations and then some. If you haven't read this , you should. It is one of the very best.
Published 1 day ago by Larry Richins
5.0 out of 5 stars Indispensable for any human relationship
I had no idea the impact this book would have in my life. My perception of others and my role in bringing peace is not only do able but satisfying
Published 4 days ago by Frana S.
5.0 out of 5 stars The Anatomy of Peace
Brings readers to an understanding of the basic perspectives needed to deal with individuals, groups and powers involved in conflict. Very readable...
Published 6 days ago by Jean Newman
5.0 out of 5 stars If you want peace in your life...
If you want peace in your life, this should be the second book you read. The first should be it's companion "Leadership and Self Deception". Quick reads. Lots of dialogue. Read more
Published 15 days ago by R. J. Lyman
5.0 out of 5 stars Life-changing Book!
This book changed the way I interact with people--especially the people I love. My heart is at peace with people I've been in conflict with my entire life.
Published 23 days ago by stefanie stenberg
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book could change your life
It's an easy read with profound ideas. I am very glad I bought this book. I liked it so much that I have the book and now the e-book so that I can refer to it often and easily.
Published 24 days ago by Marie Butcher
4.0 out of 5 stars Anatomy of Peace
A good follow-up to their first book, Leadership and Self-Deception. Re-emphasizes some of the material from the first book in a different way, but also teaches new concepts of... Read more
Published 1 month ago by barbra miller
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank you
I love a book that I can learn from without having to struggle to find the answers. I really enjoy that the learning takes place in story form.
Published 1 month ago by Christie Oja
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Inspiring Read
The best book I ever read. It should be a high school requirement. I'm buying more copies for people I know it would help greatly,
Published 1 month ago by Brenda Bouvier
5.0 out of 5 stars Parenting guide
This has already made an enormous impact in my parenting. My relationship with my son has never been better since implementing what is taught in this book. I recommend it to all.
Published 1 month ago by Mackay Merrill
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