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The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking [Hardcover]

Oliver Burkeman
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (81 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 13, 2012

The Antidote is a series of journeys among people who share a single, surprising way of thinking about life. What they have in common is a hunch about human psychology: that it’s our constant effort to eliminate the negative that causes us to feel so anxious, insecure, and unhappy. And that there is an alternative “negative path” to happiness and success that involves embracing the things we spend our lives trying to avoid. It is a subversive, galvanizing message, which turns out to have a long and distinguished philosophical lineage ranging from ancient Roman Stoic philosophers to Buddhists. Oliver Burkeman talks to life coaches paid to make their clients’ lives a living hell, and to maverick security experts such as Bruce Schneier, who contends that the changes we’ve made to airport and aircraft security since the 9/11 attacks have actually made us less safe. And then there are the “backwards” business gurus, who suggest not having any goals at all and not planning for a company’s future.

 

Burkeman’s new book is a witty, fascinating, and counterintuitive read that turns decades of self-help advice on its head and forces us to rethink completely our attitudes toward failure, uncertainty, and death.

Frequently Bought Together

The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking + The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self + The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success
Price for all three: $43.80

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Amazon Best Books of the Month, November 2012: The you-can-do-it, life-is-one-big-smiley-face ethos of our contemporary culture has its value: Aggressive positivity helps many triumph over addiction, say, or build previously unimaginable businesses, even win elections and wars. But according to Oliver Burkeman, this relentless pursuit of happiness and success can also make us miserable. Exploring the dark side of the theories put forth by such icons as Norman Vincent Peale and Eckhart Tolle by looking to both ancient philosophy and current business theory, Burkeman--a feature writer for British newspaper The Guardian--offers up the counterintuitive idea that only by embracing and examining failure and loss and unhappiness will we become free of it. So in your next yoga class, try this: breathe deep, think unhappy thoughts--and feel your soul relax. --Sara Nelson

Review

“Burkeman’s tour of the ‘negative path’ to happiness makes for a deeply insightful and entertaining book. This insecure, anxious and sometimes unhappy reader found it quite helpful.” —Hector Tobar, The Los Angeles Times

“Some of the most truthful and useful words on [happiness] to be published in recent years . . . A marvellous synthesis of good sense, which would make a bracing detox for the self-help junkie.” —Julian Baggini, The Guardian

The Antidote is a gem. Countering a self-help tradition in which ‘positive thinking’ too often takes the place of actual thinking, Oliver Burkeman returns our attention to several  of philosophy’s deeper traditions and does so with a light hand and a wry sense of humor. You’ll come away from  this book enriched—and, yes, even a little happier.”  —Daniel H. Pink, author of Drive and A Whole New Mind

“Quietly subversive, beautifully written, persuasive, and profound, Oliver Burkeman’s book will make you think—and smile.”  —Alex Bellos, author of Here’s Looking at Euclid

“Addictive, wise, and very funny.”  —Tim Harford, author of The Undercover Economist

“What unites [Burkeman’s] travels, and seems to drive the various characters he meets, from modern-day Stoics to business consultants, is disillusionment with a patently false idea that something as complex as the goal of human happiness can be found by looking in a book . . . It’s a simple idea, but an exhilarating and satisfying one.” —Alexander Larman, The Observer

“This is an excellent book; Burkeman makes us see that our current approach, in which we want happiness but search for certainty—often in the shape of material goods—is counterproductive.” —William Leith, The Telegraph

“Fascinating . . . After years spent consulting specialists—from psychologists to philosophers and even Buddhists—Burkeman realised they all agreed on one thing: . . . in order to be truly happy, we might actually need to be willing to experience more negative emotions—or, at least, to learn to stop running so hard from them.” —Mandy Francis, The Daily Mail

“Splendid . . . Readable and engaging.” —British Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, The Times (London)


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Faber & Faber (November 13, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0865479410
  • ISBN-13: 978-0865479418
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.8 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (81 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #14,107 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
32 of 34 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Superior self-help September 14, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
This was certainly a lot more enjoyable to read than most self-help books.
I actually liked reading it which is a lot more than you say for the usual change your life, awaken the fear within, visualise success and ask the universe type books.

The writing style is quite informal and discursive and despite the modesty of the author it is certainly a lot more rigorous and useful than the usual stuff from the snake oil salesmen. He recognises that what seems to work for him might not work for everyone.

It probably isn't an essential read if you do always look at his column in the Guardian though obviously in this book he gives each subject a more in depth treatment.
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51 of 57 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A self-help book for pessimists September 6, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I really enjoyed reading this book. As a pessimist, I always thought that most of my ideas about life were not shared with mankind. The book showed me that some of my personal strategies are in fact quite common and proved effective also by others.

If you hate self-help books I am sure that you will love reading this book, if you love them you SHOULD read this book.
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36 of 39 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Debby Downer was on to something. November 27, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I am a sucker. Feature a writer on National Public Radio, and the interview is mildly entertaining, I will buy the book. I will also probably read it -- the only question remaining: will I actually like it?

The Antidote, for sure, is personally fascinating. I abhor positive thinking, gravitating instead toward reality. But I didn't come by this easily. In my early 20's, I became obsessed with all manner of self help, positive thinking and new age spirituality. I devoured (embarrassing) self help books, feeling temporarily inspired by them while making feeble attempts to put the words into practice. Inevitably, I'd feel like a failure for not being able to be perfect -- or even slightly "better" than I was before; I'd feel consumed with anger and resentment, too, that my problems didn't magically go away; that life wasn't easier. It took me a LONG TIME to realize that my faux spirituality was primarily the cause of my dissatisfaction and pain.

My actual problems were far less annoying than the books I was reading to solve them.

I wish I'd read The Antidote 15 years ago.

The Antidote travels familiar -- to me, a junkie, at least -- terrain. If you've ever read a book on buddhism (through a pop culture lens), for instance, much of this won't be new: accept life as it is. But the context will; the author blends storytelling, cutting edge research, personal anecdote and wry humor into this compelling case for what he refers to as the negative path; the wisdom of the Stoics as a sane approach to life.

I am torn as to how many stars to offer; for whatever reason, I wasn't in love with the book as a whole. The author is certainly a talented writer, but I felt like the book went on and on. And on. This kind of thing, yes, is highly subjective, so take it with a grain of salt. To me, this book would have been a lot better had it been a lot shorter. I often feel this way about non-fiction books -- that there's a quota to fill. What's wrong with lean and mean?

(OK, OK: the book is not actually that long, so maybe it's my attention span).

It also bears mentioning that reading The Antidote is not actually the antidote for, really, anything: you actually have to live -- which means accepting that life is hard and messy and sometimes ugly and awful; it means not constantly trying to escape it.

But if you're obsessed with The Secret, then you need this book. The Secret will not-so-secretly let you down, again and again. The Antidote contains actual valuable advice: there are no shortcuts, magical thinking is useless and, my favorite: a little negativity will make us happier.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars A self book that's not a self help book
A thoroughly researched and insightful book, that puts negativity into a new light. The perfect gift for those annoying people who insist on telling you about their latest self... Read more
Published 4 days ago by Nick Máté
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!
Highly recommended reading for all professionals in a goal orientated environment in today's business world.
In addition to all aspiring executives.
Published 10 days ago by Ron Dempsey
3.0 out of 5 stars Some interesting insights
While the book has some moments of insight, it seemed, at other times, to try to hard to show how schools of positive thinking and optimism are not helpful to achieve happiness.
Published 15 days ago by jdoe
4.0 out of 5 stars The Antidote
I volunteer at the Red Cross in the book section. We have stacks of self help books and I have often wondered if they have worked for people . Read more
Published 15 days ago by Peta Power
5.0 out of 5 stars Plain and simple
This book is straight to the point and pokes holes in the whole self improvement industry approach. To come to terms with our own idiosyncrasies and to be honest with ourselves is... Read more
Published 20 days ago by Suntanjim
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good, even if you like positive thinking.
One of the best self-help books I've read, and I've probably read most of them. It's a great book on alternative, and possibly more readily achievable, approaches to happiness. Read more
Published 23 days ago by Cliff Merry
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent and understandable
The idea expressed here is so counterintuitive and yet so important that there will never be enough ways to remind ourselves of it. Read more
Published 1 month ago by W. Reichard
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this book on optimism for people who don't like positive...
Wonderful book demythologises some self-help and looks at how to achieve more realistic happiness through what Burkeman calls a 'negative' path - one of my must-reads of 2012
Published 1 month ago by dionnekasianlew
4.0 out of 5 stars I've never highlighted so many bits
Very glad that I read this on my kindle, I had to highlight so many parts, particularly in the last chapter. Read more
Published 1 month ago by K. Gates
4.0 out of 5 stars And this is why the self help genre leaves me for dead!
If you have ever wondered why you are not moved to participate in the Harvard Business School movement that has swept across the Western world and permeated almost all workplaces,... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Elizabeth
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