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43 of 45 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Money well spent.
Since a handful of well-attended screenings have popped up in L.A., Boston, Austin, Seattle and San Francisco in the past two years, this movie has been coveted by all who enjoy a good bad movie. So coveted that bootlegs of questionable quality have been gobbled up on eBay. But now it's here, a bright, shiny print on DVD! This movie can't be missed. Its horrible acting,...
Published on July 27, 2004 by BIM fan

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A one time watch
My husband looked for this movie for years. He, apparently, had seen part of it on TV. We watched it, but I was not overly impressed.
Published 12 months ago by Christine Matson


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43 of 45 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Money well spent., July 27, 2004
By 
BIM fan (Los Angeles) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
Since a handful of well-attended screenings have popped up in L.A., Boston, Austin, Seattle and San Francisco in the past two years, this movie has been coveted by all who enjoy a good bad movie. So coveted that bootlegs of questionable quality have been gobbled up on eBay. But now it's here, a bright, shiny print on DVD! This movie can't be missed. Its horrible acting, flimsy plot, unrelentingly bad music and lyrics, cheeseball costumes and, best of all, its earnestness, put it at the top of my list of camp demanding repeat viewings. It's also camp deserving of a wider audience. If you can't laugh at a man walking around in an Amazing Stories robe and silver G-string while antagonizing a wide-eyed music industry protege, what can you laugh at? If you can't appreciate a full-scale underworld scene (with music reminiscent of the worst of "Rocky Horror") in which one guy is wearing a mask with an extra face on it, what's wrong with you? These are just some of the subtle qualities that make this movie so great. Others: An evil overlord/music executive whose offices appear to be in the Kansas City airport. A guy with perpetual cameltoe. A cross between jazz hands and spirit fingers that passes for choreography. A surgical team interrupted by a mandatory exercise period in which the patient even gets a workout. A baffling scene in which a hippie commune gets sucked into the heavens by a white tux-clad guy named Mr. Topps. It's just jaw-droppingly awful ... but a lot of fun.
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23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars SUPER BAD MOVIE ALERT! You must appreciate dreck!, May 18, 2004
By 
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
Oh, where does one begin? "The Apple" is just one of the best cinematic experiences I have had in my life. I saw a midnight showing of it in March of 2004 at a theater in NYC, and the entire place was shrieking and howling in miserable delight. If you revel in amazingly bad movies (and this one's a musical from 1980, so you know it's really gonna stink), this is for you. Do not pass up the chance to own this piece of crap. I'm completely serious. The shimmer of the costumes, the awful acting, the terrible music, the tight little thongs everyone is wearing and oh yes--it's set in the awfully distant future of 1994. And praise that big juju apple--we are lucky enough to get it in widescreen format. See it!
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars i was in the movie, March 14, 2005
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
I have been trying to get hold of a copy for years,I was one of the dancers,and it was a really funny experience to make ,and we all could not stop laughing at the rushes.It was an isreali film crew, british cast and filmed in Berlin, I cannot wait to see it again and do the 'bim'.I always thought it would be a cult movie someday.......
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hey, hey, hey! BIM's the only way!, July 12, 2005
By 
Eric Charles (Ottawa, ON, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
In the short span of 6 months, I have become completely obsessed with The Apple. It's so bad, it's genious! I LOVE almost every song, so much so that I got a copy of the soundtrack off eBay and also downloaded the tracks onto a cd. I have even gotten others into this movie, including one of my co-workers, who is now working on an offical Apple fansite! I cant'explain my obsession with this fascinatingly awful movie. It's THE most entertaining movie I have ever seen! The songs, the acting, the costumes, the finale! Wow! What were they on? I only hope that they screen this movie here in Ottawa again someday. I would love to see it on the big screen! This is truly THE cult movie to end all cult movies!!!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Take this Apple-a-day and the doctor will be there to stay!, September 24, 2007
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
The lie that all apples are healthful and beneficial to the human body is ultimately exposed in this nightmare. No apple has done more to harm mankind since Adam and Eve.

B! (I. M.!)
B! (I. M.!)

It is with these opening words...errr...letters, that we are introduced to to the B.I.M. An evil American music corporation. As we watch these glitter-covered fools in space-suits dancing and singing this musical monstrosity, the scene cuts to Mr. Boogalew, CEO of the corp. as well as his flaming underling, Shake. We are also introduced to the concept that we are watching an 'American Idol' show where the audience votes for the winner, by a reading of their vital signs.

When the songs over, (thank God!) we learn that this takes place in the future! 1994 to be specific. The next song happens to be performed by our heroes, Alphie and Bebe, singing the saccharine song, "Love: the universal melody." It will make you puke.

"We belong to one another/we share each other's destiny./United by our love, we're all children of/the universal family./And we are everybody's brother/we share the birthright to be free./And deep within our heart/there beats the song of the ages/Love: the universal melody!

"Do the BIM!" some moronic make-up wearing teen shouts. I can't imagine the complete lack of intellect a person must possess in order to request the song you just heard performed by a completely different group that has already left the stage. The only thing that got me through this song was the thought of bending BeBe over the hood of my Jeep. As a matter of fact, this was all that got me through this whole movie, as you will find should you read on.

Now we're at a BIM celebration party. They have apparently invited Alphie and Bebe because their song did very well. We're also introduced to Ashley, Mr. Boogalow's flaming head of marketing. He makes up this horrible idea that everyone has to wear a plastic triangle on their foreheads yclept a BIM mark. From this point forward, everyone, including the extras will be wearing one of these.

Dandi, male part of BIM's leading music duo decides to make his moves on Bebe even though she's Alphie's girl. Yep, there's gonna be a song.

"You're made for meeeeee!/Created for meeeeee!/And I am your kiiiiiiiiiing!/You're made for meeeeeeee!/It's fated to beeeee./And you'll be my queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!/ You're made for meeeeeeeeeee!"

And that's about all there is to that song. It is at this point,however, appropriate to bring up the choreography that these people dance to. The choreographer was either a total genius, a Steve Reich of the dance-world, or an inebriated shut-in that wasn't so much showing them how to dance as he was having violent epileptic seizures.

The costumes? It looks like every costume from every broadway musical ever created was vomited, violently, onto the cast members. It is not unusual to see one man running around in a Techno-colour dreamcoat, being chased by the Phantom of the Opera, being chased by the entire cast of Godspell. As a matter of fact, by the end of this movie, sights like this will pass by you unnoticed. You could get into your bed only to find your wife is there with a midget circus-clown dressed up as a pig in a pilgrim costume and you won't bat an eyelash. "Night, Hon."

Had enough? Too bad, because here comes another song! That's right, this movie will NOT give you a chance to take a breather and rejoin the land of the living after each song. There will be very few gaps as you are assaulted with a Tyson-like series of one-two punches that will leave you begging to stay down on the mat.

Like a puppet on a string/Like a monkey on a swing(?)/Man is clinging to the ropes of his fantasies and hopes/We are dangling.(Clown: MR. Boogalow!)

There's not too much to say about this one. I will say that if you are not scarred for life after watching grown men dancing around with boas then I worry about you. Anyway, we now have 4 minutes of dialog nobody cares about before we have another SONG!

You thought the last song was bad? Your naivete charms me. Alphie and Bebe are now in HeIl. It may worry you that the women in this scene are fully clothed while the men are wearing practically nothing. As a matter of fact you should be worried, because I sure as heIl am. This song gets off to a terrifying start as vampires and a hoard of ghastly ghouls darts around like they've just took a shot of jenkem. You'll know you have because that's what this movie is.

Long story short, Bebe signs the contact and Alphie doesn't. Now, Alphie storms out leaving Bebe alone with the BIM. And you know what, you got another friggin song coming. Choke on it. At least they finally show their straight viewers some service and have Bebe scantily clad in workout clothes. About friggin time.

Just because you made it through that song with wrists intact, don't think you can tell your family to un-hide the silverware, because after a few short lines of dialog you've got another song. Things are looking up though, she's clad in Power-ranger gear and does some boxer-cising dance moves.

[...].

I hope you're still reading this, having survived this little soul-tourniquet, and are ready for more. Because you're gonna get more. After Alphie gropes his jewish landlord(he really does this) He sings her a song. The lyrics aren't worth typing.

I would hate for my review to contain spoilers concerning the end of this film so I will write no more. Who am I trying to kid, there just isn't anything left worth writing about. Should I tell you that in the end God comes to Earth in a flying Rolls Royce and saves Alphie and Bebe by taking them to Heaven in his sweet ride? Because that's what friggin happens, that's how this movie ends. Eat it.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Take A Bite...You Won't Regret It!, March 6, 2005
By 
Brian Larrabee (Minneapolis, MN USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
I purchased this DVD without having seen it, nor really knowing what it was about. Night of the Comet (somebody, PLEASE put that out on DVD, too, PLEASE!) is one of my all-time favorite silly movies. The best thing about NOTC is Catherine Mary Stewart who also plays the lead in The Apple. Having seen her sing in Scenes From The Goldmine, I wasn't so surprised that The Apple turned out to be a musical.....what suprises is the genre being blown away. The Apple is a combination of Rocky Horror, Xanadu, Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and several other movies that came after it. Fans of campy movies, campy musicals or just plain bizzare stories should check this out. The highlights are the numbers including The Apple and I'm Coming For You, with the latter looking like something that was too racy for Barbarella. I don't know why it took 25 years for this amazing film to be reissued for home viewing, but snatch it up while it's available!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Taste it... don't be afraid!, November 28, 2005
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
After first viewing, I HAD to have my own copy. I recently watched the movie on a big screen at a midnight showing in New York, where we all got up and participated in the national BIM hour, and sported BIM marks on our faces! It's great and awful at the same time... but beware of hyping it up to your friends too much before you show it to them. Some of my friends now think I am crazy for liking this movie, but I guess they just don't get art that's so BAD it's GOOD!!!

-"Heyyyy Topps, what do you think you're doingggg?"
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No more bootleg copies - hurrah!, August 24, 2004
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
What more can I add? Reviewer CC Incalzini says it all really - very good review!

I'd just like to add that it is great to finally have this film on a 'proper' DVD, I've seen all the bootleg copies for sale on eBay (and believe it or not DVD's too) - buy from Amazon, coz at least then you know you're getting a 'real' copy and not a bootleg! - MGM have done a stonkingly good job of restoring this print (if that's the right word) the awful pan and scan on the video has gone, and because of that you get to see the whole movie. I finally get to see Vladek Sheybal (Mr Boogalow) singing all the way through 'The Master' whereas before I didn't. This actor is great in the movie as he normally plays screen villains and it was great to see him do something different. All in all, a great effort. Now can we turn our attention to getting The Apple soundtrack released on CD (instead of bootleg copies of the album as seen on eBay) - that would complete the set wouldn't it? - why are you running away - what's wrong with you?
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars "...meet an actual, actual, actual vampire! ", April 29, 2006
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
THE APPLE aye? Well I can say without a doubt this is the strangest film I've seen in awhile and I've seen FORBIDDEN ZONE, XANADU and THE PIRATE MOVIE all within the last two weeks.

Sometime in the future, 1994 to be exact, the world is controlled by an evil music agent, Mr. Boogalow, who somehow has Big Brother-like control over the police and society in general. Everyday at a designated time everyone, and I mean everyone, must dance for 60 minutes to his BIM music. Also all people must wear a reflective triangle sticker on their face.

Folksy singers Bibi & Alphie don't belong in the BIM-tastic world so Boogalow buys off Bibi and turns her into a BIM superstar. Alphie rejects Boogalow's offer and fights to free Bibi and get her to join a hippy cult with him. She does and just when Boogalow and the evil police are taking them away God, I mean, Mr. Topps rides out of the clouds in his flying Rolls Royce and whisks them away to Heaven.

The one thing I forgot to mention is about every 5 minutes there's a massive overcrowded musical number that makes you cry out "What the Hell is going on!? My brain hurts!" Needless to say I quite enjoyed this movie. It's gonna be a few years before I could sit through it again though.

The DVD has a good picture and sound, but where are the extras? A trailer? That's it? What makes it even more insulting is the trailer had multiple scenes that weren't in the movie.

Catherine Mary Stewart later played Alex Rogan's girlfriend in THE LAST STARFIGHTER. And writer/director/producer Menaham Golan later went on to work on OVER THE TOP, THE DELTA FORCE, AMERICAN NINJA, MISSING IN ACTION, INVASION U.S.A. and tons of movies that molded my young mind.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sometimes its soo bad, its sooo good, June 28, 2005
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Apple (DVD)
So I did a jig when I saw this movie was available on DVD. This movie is um .... rotten to the core. This movie has been played for the last couple of years in various theaters, and has made it back to cable. Yes, the movie, is horrible, the dialogue is bad, villians sing regge tunes. God comes in a gold Cadillac. Yes, its bad.

I don't think this movie intended to be horrible, but it is, and there lies the beauty of this film. Who would have ever imagined a musical extolling the wonders of taking speed?? Who would have ever thought as a cheap plot device to paste a sticker on your head?? Who in their right minds would have conceived of a dance/orgy scene, surely the solid gold dancers could have done something else in their spare time.

Invite your friends, invite people you want to torture, put this movie in!! This movie is a train wreck, you will not be able to take your eyes away. I would love to tell you there are lots of redeeming qualities, but there aren't many. This movie is just plain bad.
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The Apple
The Apple by Menahem Golan (DVD - 2004)
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