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The Art of Forgiving [Paperback]

Lewis B. Smedes
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)

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Book Description

August 12, 1997
"Lewis Smedes writes about forgiveness like no one has ever written about it before. There is no better book in the English language about this subject, which, if properly mastered, can change the face of human relationships."  
--Neil Clark Warren              

Author of The Triumphant Marriage and Make Anger Your Ally

If you are ready to make peace with those who have hurt or betrayed you, there can be no finer road map than this thoroughly practical book. Lewis Smedes brings true forgiveness, "Gods own gift," within the capacity of every wounded person, even in circumstances when only hate seems possible. With inspiring words, he leads you through the three stages of forgiveness and helps you understand:


Why we forgive (often the person who benefits most is the forgiver)
What we do when we forgive (perhaps not what we expect)
Whom we forgive (only those who directly wrong us)
How we forgive (we start by owning our pain)  


Using many dramatic examples drawn from life, this wise author illuminates, step by step, the healing path to peace and freedom.  

"Altogether a wonderfully wise and enabling book, one of Smedes's very best. The Art of Forgiving is itself a work of art. Throughout my reading I found myself exclaiming, 'That never occurred to me, but yes, that's right!' I felt as if I were being led by an extraordinarily lucid and perceptive guide on a tour through the land of forgiveness."    
--Nicholas Woltersdorff  
Professor of Philosophical Theology  
The Divinity School, Yale University

Frequently Bought Together

The Art of Forgiving + Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve (Plus) + Shame and Grace: Healing the Shame We Don't Deserve
Price for all three: $29.68

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

When a heinous act is committed, sometimes one wonders if forgiveness is even possible. Lewis B. Smedes would certainly advise it. "When we forgive," he says, "we set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner we set free is us." In an easy-to-read yet astute analysis of the meaning and value of forgiveness, Smedes teaches the reader that more than anything, forgiveness is a way of healing. He takes as his model the Judeo-Christian God and outlines the many subtleties involved in forgiveness, such as distinguishing anger from hate, and noting that we only forgive those we blame (including ourselves). Forgetting may be more difficult, but at least The Art of Forgiving can help us along the path toward release and healing.

From the Publisher

We all know the right thing to do is usually the harder thing to do. I am continuing to struggle with forgiving and moving past conflict. I know that bitterness and anger taint my day to day existence, so why hold on to them? What or whose purpose does it serve? I'm not at the point where I could forgive the murderer of a loved one, but I strongly suggest to everyone reading this that you give up a lot of the hostility you carry around from petty disagreements with friends and colleagues. It really will make a difference in how you'll feel about yourself. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; 4th Printing edition (August 12, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 034541344X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345413444
  • Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 5.4 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #52,962 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

It makes you realize that forgivness is the only way to heal pain and hurt. James W. Scott  |  7 reviewers made a similar statement
Excellent author and very well written. S. Huntington  |  8 reviewers made a similar statement
It's well written and I loved the little sayings in the back. Jill  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
66 of 67 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
This book helped put it all in perspective for me, I had been deeply hurt by a trusted friend and I did not think I had what it took to forgive. This book showed me the way and helped me to realize that it is not an overnight process nor does forgiving mean reunion with that person. Forgiveness means freedom from the shackles of that painful experience. If you need to forgive and can't find the way, make this book your reference guide.
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29 of 29 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Realstic Guide to the Challenge of Forgiving Others February 14, 2002
Format:Paperback
One of the most difficult struggles in interpersonal conflict is practicing forgiveness. There are many well-written works on this subject, but few match the depth and sensitivity of two by popular author and seminary professor, Lewis Smedes. The sequel to this one, Forgive and Forget, is a Christian classic on the subject. This volume, The Art of Forgiving, builds upon the concepts of the first. Smedes says: "We all know the right thing to do is usually the harder thing to do. I am continuing to struggle with forgiving and moving past conflict. I know that bitterness and anger taint my day to day existence, so why hold on to them? What or whose purpose does it serve? I'm not at the point where I could forgive the murderer of a loved one, but I strongly suggest to everyone reading this that you give up a lot of the hostility you carry around from petty disagreements with friends and colleagues. It really will make a difference in how you'll feel about yourself." Using many real life examples, this practical book illumines, step by step, the path of healing and the road to peace and freedom. It is an indispensable resource on the subject of forgiveness. If you only get one, get The Art of Forgiving, but if you want to double the blessing, get both.
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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Forgiving may not be what you think it is October 28, 2002
Format:Paperback
I have bought this book at least four times, because each time I get it, someone desperately needs it, then they ask if they can keep it. Read this book if you've been hurt. It is very readable, and brings out what's really wrong inside. Forgiving very often is God's medicine for the heart, Reading this book may lead you towards a freedom you never thought you could have.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars the art of forgiving
now this book has helped me grow more with family and friends that i had problems with. this is a book to read and understand you have to let go and forgive
Published 2 months ago by Peggy Ann Cook
2.0 out of 5 stars The Art of Forgiving
This book was a disappointment. I felt that it missed the mark. It is not a book that I care to keep in my library.
Published 3 months ago by SSC5R
3.0 out of 5 stars Art of Forgiving
There were a lot of markings in the book, including alot of highlighting, more than described. It is distracting for me to read with that much markings.
Published 4 months ago by Mary Beth Robertson
5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT BOOK
This book is a great how to forgive another. Besides it is great to help someone who is in the stage of unforgiveness to begin the process of forgiving. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Coralea Roquemore
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent step by step process
This book really steps the reader through the forgivness process. It is easy to follow and easy to incorporate into your life.
Published 7 months ago by L. Eberly
4.0 out of 5 stars Good resource
I bought this for my husband based on a recommendation. My husband has family members who are ridiculously cruel to him. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Legal Eagle
5.0 out of 5 stars When unforgiveness is controlling your life - this is the book for...
There was a time when a certain person controlled my life but once I forgave her my life got so much better! Read more
Published 16 months ago by Jill
5.0 out of 5 stars "Priceless!"
I'm not sure what my expectations were - all I knew was I needed help learning how to forgive someone who has hurt me over and again - without putting myself right back in the same... Read more
Published 18 months ago by N. Gavick
5.0 out of 5 stars What Real Forgiveness Really Is
Part of our premarital counseling involved reading "Art of Forgiving" by Lewis B. Smedes.

Cuts through me-centered pop-psychology hogwash, and Smedes talks about real... Read more
Published 18 months ago by A.Trendl HungarianBookstore.com
4.0 out of 5 stars Not a quick read
I bought this for my daughter but didn't have time to read it completely before giving it to her. It seemed thoughtfully presented but not something that can be quickly read. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Mom
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