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The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections Hardcover – Bargain Price, October 17, 2006

25 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


 From the foreward:
"The premise of what Sally and Roger Horchow have written is that The Art of Friendship has a few simple guidelines that anyone can be taught -- it's a good deal easier to learn something that looks very difficult from the outside if you're being taught by an expert and trust me, in the case of the Horchows senior and junior, you're in the hands of experts." -- Malcolm Gladwell, bestselling author of "The Tipping Point"

"This father-daughter collaboration, a from-the-heart and from-the-hearth little book, is simply a rare jewel in today's hardened, unkind society. It's full of great advice, love, and common sense. There is no better combination. In fact, I think it's a great antidote for anything that emotionally ails you." -- Letitia Baldrige, author of "New Manners for New Times"

"Friends are hard to come by, hard to keep, and sometimes hard to get rid of. Here's a book that helps on all scores. If I didn't already consider Roger & Sally Horchow to be good friends, I'd certainly want them to be after reading this wise and charming book." --William F. Buckley Jr.

"Roger Horchow has made a success of everything in his full life: as a husband and father, as a remarkable, innovative businessman, as a brilliant Broadway producer, as a generous donor to the things he believes in, and as a warm, supportive, permanent friend. In this little book, he and his daughter, Sally, combine to reveal Roger's secret formula for success: reach out, give more than you receive, persevere, and remember all we really have on this earth is each other." -- Robert K. Massie, historian and author of "Nicholas & Alexandra"

About the Author

ROGER HORCHOW is the founder of the Horchow Collection, the first luxury mail order only retailer, and a Tony Award winning Broadway producer. His talent for connecting earned him a chapter in Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point.
SALLY HORCHOW is a lifestyle and trend writer whose work appears regularly in publications like the New York Times, Town & Country and

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 144 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press (October 17, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312360398
  • ASIN: B0012F48PU
  • Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.7 x 7.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #904,920 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

116 of 121 people found the following review helpful By Iris on August 25, 2007
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I agree with reviewer that said this is a nice little REMINDER about how we can be better friends -
e.g.: Listen before you speak, empathize, and so on....
but I don't believe this book is an actual tool for helping you Make New Friends.

I also completely agree and was also frustrated with the reiteration of tips. It really is 35 tips stretched out to seem like 70 tips for the purpose of filling the pages of a book.

If you are looking for tips on how to make new friends in environments where you don't know a soul, or if you are looking to learn the art of approaching people and engaging them in conversation, and how to keep that conversation interesting, etc, this is not the book for you.

I could write a similar book for teenagers called "The Art of Learning to Drive" and tell them that Rule #1 is "When the light turns green, you go...." Oooh, and I bet you can guess what Rule #2 would be. Never mind providing the details about those pedals down on the floor of the vehicle and that the one on the left is the brake and the one on the right is the gas. A book that claims to provide some instructional assistance needs to have a certain degree of detail. You will not find that detail in this book.

I would highly recommend "The Art of Mingling" by Jeanne Martinet. Even if you don't want to become an expert on mingling, this author provides some really wonderful insight, suggestions and methods for approaching people that you don't know, great conversation starters, how to approach groups of people, and even how to get out of a conversation that is not going well. I think the tips in "The Art of Mingling" are all invaluable tools for making new friends.
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26 of 30 people found the following review helpful By Eduardo A. Braniff on October 27, 2006
Format: Hardcover
In the short time of applying a handful of these rules in my friendships, I have come to realize how easy it is to make even the most long-standing friendships more profound and interesting. What I loved most of The Art of Friendship is appreciating that we can always make room for new and different relationships. Friendship is about making the simplest of efforts. And with 70 of these efforts now easily outlined for everyone, one can only imagine how the world might become a better place thanks to it being filled with better friends!
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Blaine Greenfield on November 13, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I'm so glad that I came across THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP by Roger Horchow and Sally Horchow before
my upcoming move to Asheville, North Carolina.

Knowing virtually nobody there, I'm somewhat apprehensive about
how to go about meeting new folks . . . yet the authors seem
to have made it simple for me by presenting--to quote the subtitle--70

For example, here's one idea that I had never thought about:

* Host a party for your good friends and ask each of your guests to bring
one person that you don't know.

I then got a kick out of this suggestion for dealing with the problem
of forgetting somebody's name:

* Say, "Nice to see you" rather than "Nice to meet you." No one wants
to think they were so completely forgettable that you've blanked out
the first meeting.

Lastly, there was this useful suggestion for avoiding banalities that
get you nowhere in a conversation:

* Unless you are a meteorologist or a farmer, there is usually nothing
vitally interesting in a discussion of the weather. . . . Your goal is
to learn about the person you are talking to, not make empty noise.

I strongly recommend THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP to anybody
interested in making or meeting new friends--even if you think
you already have more than enough . . . by chance, even if you fall into the
latter category, you'll be pleasantly surprised to pick up some new
techniques that will help you strengthen existing friendships.
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18 of 22 people found the following review helpful By S. Furman on October 28, 2006
Format: Hardcover
"The Art of Friendship" is not only an invaluable resource - it's a great read. Roger and Sally Horchow have peppered their well-written, fantastic How-To with personal anecdotes which are interesting, informative, and both complement and underscore their friendship tips brilliantly. This book is rife with wisdom and insight into how to develop, maintain, and deepen Friendhips - but it will not only make you a better friend, it will make you a better person. Buy it, read it, live it!
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14 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Gail Cooke HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on December 17, 2006
Format: Audio CD
"Friendship, friendship, just the perfect blendship...When other friendships have been forgot....." We might wonder today just how many friendships have been "forgot." It's not necessary to detail the reasons for this - fast paced society, miles of separation, ad infinitum. Of course, in this respect, we're thinking of old friends - what about making new ones? Do we take the time to do that, do we know how?

Roger Horchow, founder of the luxury mail order house The Horchow Collection, and his daughter, Sally, have created a small treasure of a book which not only reminds us of the importance of friendship but also offers guidelines on how to nurture relationships of long standing and how to make new friends in today's hectic world.

Suggestions offered by the Horchow's are simple but true, such as this conversation technique: "To be an active participant in a conversation you must receive as well as give. Don't be so focused on your approach that you forget the goal: to get to know another person. A successful conversation, like a relationship, requires give and take--sometimes at the rigorous pace of a tennis rally and at other times as leisurely as a waltz--and you should be attuned to this pattern.
Allow your conversational partner the opportunity to respond; look for ways to draw them into the dance. Do not come on too strong: if you are overly loquacious, argumentative, or revealing, you will end up creating resistance just when you want to lower it. Worst of all, if you don't stop and let him or her respond, you might discourage your new conversational partner entirely.
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