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The Art of Sleeping Alone: Why One French Woman Suddenly Gave Up Sex Paperback – August 5, 2014

by Sophie Fontanel (Author)

28 customer reviews

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In a provocative memoir, the bestselling French novelist and iconic editor of French Elle describes her years of self-imposed celibacy—why she did it and how it changed her perspective: “A searching investigation into the power of no…a sophisticated bagatelle of a volume” (Dwight Garner, The New York Times).

After many years of having (and mostly enjoying) an active sex-life, Sophie Fontanel—beloved French author, journalist, editor, and fashion blogger—decided she wanted to take a break. Despite having a glamorous job, plenty of dates and boyfriends, stylish clothes, parties to attend, she wasn’t happy and wanted more. Sophie chose to give up her sex life, shocking her friends and colleagues. But what she discovers about herself is truly liberating and raises a number of questions about the expectations of our society. Going beyond the body, her thoughts on what it means to find happiness and fulfillment are inspiring.

As Sophie experiences being the only single person at dinner parties, weekend getaways, and summer vacations, she muses on what it means to find happiness and fulfillment alone, stringing “together her narrative in a series of lyrical vignettes…No one has written so sumptuously about celibacy” (The Daily Beast). Lovely and illuminating, The Art of Sleeping Alone, a major bestseller in France, offers an alternative take on modern-day conventions, making this a compelling read for anyone who has chosen to do things a little differently. As Vanity Fair says: “Leave it to a Frenchwoman to convert even giving up sex into an elegant gesture.”

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Product Details

Paperback: 160 pages
Publisher: Scribner; Tra edition (August 5, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1451696280
ISBN-13: 978-1451696288
Product Dimensions: 4.9 x 0.4 x 7.8 inches
Shipping Weight: 4.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 2.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #645,051 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3761 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Love & Romance
- #7158 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Specific Groups > Women
- #17555 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Memoirs

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Customer Reviews

2.9 out of 5 stars

5 star		25%
4 star		7%
3 star		25%
2 star		14%
1 star		29%

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

61 of 64 people found the following review helpful

A good premise, but too much narcissism

By Michelle on August 13, 2013

Format: Hardcover

I came across the book this morning when the Atlantic published an excerpt on its website. I was immediately drawn to the premise: a sensible, attractive woman who deliberately decided to take a break from sexuality and cast a dispassionate look at a society that seems to put sex on a pedestal. Plus the prose was beautiful and well-translated, so I immediately went on Amazon to see if I could download it onto my Kindle.

It is a quick read that one can finish it leisurely in a few hours. And after I've done that, this is what I think:

I still believe that the author laid down a question that is worth pondering. Too often our societal ideals about romance and sexuality is dominated about the idea that a healthy, happy woman should be out and about, engaging in action. The more the merrier. However, this kind of mentality assumes as if mutual carnal pleasures are the ultimate meanings. It says nothing to the loneliness and incompletion of an individual. Of getting hurt. Of vulnerability. Of asymmetry. Of love unreciprocated. Most importantly, of the independence and wholesomeness that a woman must achieve before a lasting relationship is possible at all.

For a good portion of the book this surely looks like what the author was getting at. I found especially poignant her honest exposé of her first sexual encounter at the age of 13 - the candidness with which she shared her naivete, vulnerability, and the disillusionment that she felt as a result of her precocious adventures.

However, as the book went out, it became increasingly clear that the author was much less interested in exploring this questions than admiring her own courage and beauty.Read more ›

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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful

Disappointing

By MoMo on September 10, 2013

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase

I guess it depends on what purpose you're reading this book for. It's typically French, glossy and a bit histrionic at times. The good points are found early on in the book, as the author examines her sex life critically and goes against the grain to stop having sex (with other people, at least). This forces her to critically examine the lives of her vapid friends and how they (and the author) define "love" (hint: it's got nothing to do with giving of yourself to another person, and I don't necessarily mean sexually). It's interesting to read about their reactions to her big choice (although I found myself wondering why she told them about it; it's really none of their business). The chapters about the other pleasures she turned to in life (massages, talking to children, etc) were nice but I'm not quite sure how they're connected to not having sex. Unfortunately, the ending really disappointed me (spoilers)-- at the end of the book, she spontaneously ends her 12-year celibacy by picking up a (married) acquaintance and taking him home for a rendez-vous. After all the meditating she did on the subject, in the end there was no revelation or self-discovery, or at the very least, progress of character. Perhaps it's my fault for expecting more depth, but I don't know.

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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful

Disappointing

By Henry Le Nav on August 20, 2013

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

Disappointing. I don't think her experience is all that terribly unusual. Many people go through periods of abstention, usually not as long, and usually not self enforced.

Caution Spoiler:

Her story struck me as though she grew weary of and her body rejected being used by men who did not love her but found her a convenient lover. I believe that she was tired of being an appliance. I can understand her desire to get away from that situation, in fact I think it was noble of her to do so. If a situation is not fulfilling one's happiness then they should endeavor to change. Take a vacation from men, and leave loveless sex forever. But then it struck me that rather than trying to find a meaningful loving relationship, she just seemed to take much smug satisfaction at being the odd woman out and watching her friends scramble to fix her life, while their own were so obviously full of faults. So after quite some period of time she began to feel "insinuating vibrations" and the book ends with her starting an affair with a married man. Perhaps all she wants from life are on and off periods of loveless sex. It struck me that she wasted her sexual prime trying to prove some point to herself and her friends, but in the end what ever that point was, she didn't seem to learn it very well.

End of Spoiler

This book was very short, possibly thankfully so. It is divided up into short vignettes that I invariably found were just starting to get interesting and I would flip the page to find that it ended two or three sentences later. It seemed to be written with some artsy Victorian modesty that implied much but told very little. I found the prose too flowery and vague.Read more ›

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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

Disappointedb but beautifully written

By Miriam A. Prichard on August 17, 2013

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase

I was very excited for the English translation of this book. It was written beautifully. However, I was disappointed with the lack of organization and overall insight that was offered by the author. After reading the description, I was looking forward to learning how her relationship changed with herself and the world, but when I finished the book, I didn't feel those things were covered. It's a very quick read, and if my expectations had been different, I may have enjoyed it more.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

Lost in Translation

Translators have a very difficult job. Oftentimes the true intent of a story is lost when translating it from one language to another. Read more

Published 3 months ago by yellowrose

Five Stars

Really enjoyed the book

Published 6 months ago by Krystie Melnick-Quella

Fontanel is misunderstood by Americans.

I posted my comments as a reply to a review here... Read more

Published 6 months ago by Danielle Zeghbib

Disappointed :-(

I pre-ordered this book a few months before it was released. I was SO looking forward to it, I thought as the title says, that it would be about WHY a woman suddenly gave up sex. Read more

Published 11 months ago by Lynne

about this book

The author should have called this book, "The Art of how to write a boring book in 1,000 words or less." It was more like an essay than an actual book. Read more

Published 13 months ago by Cindi

worthless

This is a completely worthless book. The book has about 150 pages but close to 30 are empty, used for opening new chapters, or separating fragments. Read more

Published 13 months ago by Witold

Overlong

I wanted to like this. The idea around the book was intriguing. However, it made for a long, slow, unrewarding read. I was unable to finish this. Read more

Published 16 months ago by Katharine

expected more

I expected to learn something from this memoir but I'm not sure I did. I enjoyed the book but it just wasn't spectacular. Read more

Published 18 months ago by Msrhonda

Worth a chance! relatable!

This isnt a written like a typical novel so it seems to be a hit or miss. I am half way though the book and have really enjoyed it thus far. Read more

Published 18 months ago by ms

kool

This was a good read and I recomend it. Growing up in the sexual revolution its easy to forget the other side of that coin is valid.

Published 21 months ago by tonytiger

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