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The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction Will Create a Better World [Paperback]

Laura Carroll
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 17, 2012
In the movie The Matrix, the character Morpheus offers two pills to Neo--if he takes the blue pill, he will go on with life as he has before, believing what he has always believed. If he takes the red pill, he will find out what the "matrix" really is, and many of his earlier beliefs will be shattered. When it comes to taking a hard look at a specific set of beliefs about parenthood and reproduction that has driven our society for generations, The Baby Matrix is the red pill.

We commonly think our desire to have children boils down to our biological wiring, but author Laura Carroll says it's much more than that. Unlike other books on parenthood, The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction Will Create a Better World takes a serious look at powerful social and cultural influences that drive the desire for the parenthood experience, and lays out why we need to be very aware of these influences to make the most informed decisions about parenthood.

The Baby Matrix looks at long-held beliefs about parenthood and reproduction, and unravels why we believe what we believe. It lays out: 
-the historical origins of beliefs about parenthood and reproduction

-why many of these beliefs no longer work for society or were never true in the first place
-why we continue to believe them anyway
-the prices society pays as a result
 
The Baby Matrix shows us how we got here, brings to light what is true, which includes knowing about the powerful influence of "pronatalism," and explains why society can no longer afford to leave pronatalism unquestioned. 

"This is not a book about convincing people not to have children," says Carroll. "I want people to be very aware of the long-held social and cultural pressures, and be able to free themselves from those pressures when making parenthood choices. This will result in more people making the best decisions for themselves, will foster a society in which those who are best suited to become parents are the ones who have children and one that knows what it means to bring a child into the world today."

This book will make you examine your own intentions and beliefs, will rile you, and might just change your mind. Whether you are already a parent, want to become a parent, are still making up your mind, or know you don't want children, you'll never think about parenthood in the same way. 

The Baby Matrix is a must-read for anyone interested in psychology, sociology, anthropology, parenting issues, environmentalism, and social justice. But most of all, it's for anyone, parent or not, who reveres the truth and wants the best for themselves, their families, and our world.

Frequently Bought Together

The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction Will Create a Better World + Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance + Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice
Price for all three: $37.02

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

Review

The Baby Matrix articulately and systematically challenges the multiple conscious and unconscious assumptions that go into the insistent "pronatal" view of our American culture...a needed book for the 21st century." Read this book. -- Mardy Ireland, Ph.D., author of Reconceiving Women: Separating Motherhood From Female Identity


What readers are saying:

"Her book reshapes the myths and offers a new way of looking at parenthood and reproduction."

"This book should be required reading for everyone thinking about having kids."

"This book will challenge some beliefs about the life script."

About the Author

In addition to writing nonfiction books, Laura has worked over the last 15 years as a business and litigation psychology consultant and used her expertise in behavioral sciences, psychology, and communications to advise business, legal, and nonprofit professionals on their communications strategies and goals.

Laura is a seasoned leader of personal and professional development seminars, and has appeared on a variety of television shows, including Good Morning America and The Early Show. She has been a guest on many radio talk shows to discuss social science topics.

She is also the author of Families of Two: Interviews With Happily Married Couples Without Children by Choice and Finding Fulfillment From the Inside Out.

In addition to her author site, you can find Laura at her nonfiction book review site, LiveTrue Books, and her top blog, La Vie Childfree.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 186 pages
  • Publisher: LiveTrue Books (May 17, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0615642993
  • ISBN-13: 978-0615642994
  • Product Dimensions: 0.4 x 5.9 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #284,024 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Laura Carroll is a nonfiction writer, and is the author of The Baby Matrix, Families of Two, and Finding Fulfillment From the Inside Out.

In addition to writing nonfiction books, Laura has worked over the last 15 years as a business and litigation psychology consultant and used her expertise in behavioral sciences, psychology, and communications to advise business, legal, and nonprofit professionals on their communications strategies and goals.

She is a seasoned public speaker, and has appeared on a variety of television shows, including Good Morning America and The Early Show. She has been a guest on many radio talk shows to discuss social science topics.

Find her at her author site, lauracarroll.com, her nonfiction book review and bookstore site, LiveTrue Books, her top blog, La Vie Childfree. She also blogs for the Huffington Post.



Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
(11)
4.5 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
27 of 28 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Shifting My Paradigm August 1, 2012
Format:Paperback
I am a mother raising two boys and I grew up with most of the parenting assumptions that this books addresses. The world population is a subject our family speaks about, since we are concerned about how our world can handle the 7 billion we've got, much less the almost 3 billion more projected by 2050. That's the macrocosm, the author of "The Baby Matrix" mostly addresses the microcosm of choice and the "pronatalism" assumptions many of us (myself included) unconsciously absorb and live by. Assumptions like how we are destined to pro-create; will be adept at parenting; will find our ultimate fulfillment through children; and ultimately raise these children to want to take care of us when we're elderly.

This highly informative and evolved book questions these and many more assumptions and offers interesting alternative options that need to be part of the local, national and international conversation. There are concrete facts throughout this well researched book as well as suggestions on how to examine the question of parenting and if it is the best personal choice, debunking the myth that it is "selfish" not to have children. Because I already chose my path to become a parent, I wasn't sure how I would benefit from this read, however I see now the importance of it. Now I can become a more conscious world citizen and mother, no longer thoughtlessly proliferating some of these pronatal assumptions like "When you're a father someday...", or "I can't wait to have grandchildren one day!", etc.

After reading this paradigm shifting book, I am beginning to catch myself in my verbal messages and am becoming more thoughtful and open-minded.
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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
The Baby Matrix, by Dr Laura Carroll, is about pronatalism, or "the idea that parenthood and raising children should be the central focus of every person's adult life."

As someone who's chosen not to have children, I can tell you my decision wasn't easy. And it's been made a lot harder by the million movies and TV shows that tell me parenting is the only way to live a fulfilling life. Not to mention the friends and family who question whether I'm selfish and whether I'll turn into some bitter, lonely woman down the road.
So I really appreciated the perspective presented in this book.

Carroll gives a detailed overview of the key principles of pronatalism, and then explains why they are wrong and even harmful. For example:
* We have a biological instinct to have children.
* There's something wrong with you if you don't want children.
* The ultimate path to fulfillment in life is parenthood.
* We need children to be there for us when we get old.
The book raises some very simple questions and some very complex issues. Why do we think everyone should have children? Why are we so willing to limit access to birth control or family planning, when we're not even willing to have honest conversations about how many children are too many?

It isn't just that our pro-childbearing culture makes MY life difficult - there are bigger implications. When you think about the number of children who are raised by people who probably shouldn't be parents, and the impact that has for all of us, it's a pretty serious issue. Carroll isn't saying we should pick and choose who gets to have children (although she's at least willing to discuss the issue). But she does ask why NOT having children can't at least be presented as a valid choice.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Pronatalistic realities... August 7, 2012
Format:Paperback
Review:

I come from a rather large family - some of my recent ancestors having as many as eighteen children, but just because I grew up with two siblings, tons of cousins, and a plethora of branches on my family tree does not mean that I am obligated to "go forth and multiply". Do not get me wrong, I love children, however, I do not currently desire to reproduce due to my career, and the fact that there are plenty of adoptable children who need homes and families. That said, I was very interested when I got the chance to read The Baby Matrix by Laura Carroll because she has similar viewpoints on the subject. The Earth may seem like an infinite resource at the constant disposal of the human race, but as the atmosphere weakens, the water, air, and ground become polluted, and precious fossil fuels are depleted, the planet becomes more unsustainable. Add in the world's current population of 7 billion, (9+ billion by 2050), and the macrocosm brings us even closer to resource depletion. This is why the idea of pronatalism is such a dangerous one, because children are brought up to glorify parenthood, and therefore, some decide to procreate selfishly. This does not mean that pronatalism is entirely bad, but if people continue to have children to the "nth degree", (4, 5, 6, 7...), then the economy, and eventually the world as a whole, will suffer because of it. Because of the pronatalism view, people like to assume that having a baby makes them a good parent, a happier person, and will lead to an old age where they are surrounded by doting, appreciative, and loving children; but that is certainly not true in all cases. I enjoy how The Baby Matrix questions these humanity-old practices and beliefs, allowing readers to get a real sense of reproductive responsibilities versus wants.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
The first book I can find that really looks at the decision to have a baby as a choice. Not the if-you-want-one-have-one choice, the true choice.
Published 1 month ago by S. Crangle
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing to say the least
I'm currently at the point of making the decision whether or not to have children so I thought this book would be perfect for me. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Kari Jones
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent read
I wasn't sure what the book would specifically talk about but for a short book, it covers all the myths around procreating. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Amna Bakhtiar
5.0 out of 5 stars Must-read
Everyone should read this book - whether you want to be a parent or not. It reveals our assumptions about parenthood in a very accessible and interesting way. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Tracy
5.0 out of 5 stars Detailed to the last Bit
I was aware that society was putting pressure on me to have babies and children, but I wasn't aware in what areas, in what forms, or what tactics they had been using since I was a... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Megan
5.0 out of 5 stars Very insightful and encompassing
This book was a very good read. I am Child-free by choice and this book is amazingly good at challenging the normal conventions of pro natalism. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Devin Deitsch
5.0 out of 5 stars Childfree, childless, with children...a must read for all
A must read for all (parents and non-parents),"The Baby Matrix" takes on issues and assumptions that are a must to understand for all of us. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Manos
5.0 out of 5 stars Thought provoking
The author questions the wisdom of encouraging absolutely everyone to have as many biological children as they can, in a world with disappearing environmental resources, and... Read more
Published 10 months ago by XRSTPMQ
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