The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries [Paperback]

Michele Borba Ed.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 8, 2009

Today show's Michele Borba's cures for difficult childhood behaviors

In this down-to-earth guide, parenting expert Michele Borba offers advice for dealing with children's difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, temper tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure, and much more. Written for parents of kids age 3-13, this book offers easy-to-implement advice for the most important challenges parents face with kids from toddlers to tweens.

• Includes immediate solutions to the most common childhood problems and challenges
• Written by Today Show's resident parenting expert Michele Borba
• Offers clear step-by-step guidance for solving difficult childhood behaviors and family conflicts
• Contains a wealth of advice that is easy-to-follow and gets quick results
• Author has written outstanding parenting books including Building Moral Intelligence, No More Misbehavin', Don't Give Me that Attitude, and more

Each of the 101 issues includes clear questions, specific step-by-step solutions, and advice that is age appropriate.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Product Description

In this down-to-earth guide, parenting expert Michele Borba offers advice for dealing with children's difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, temper tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure, and much more. Written for parents of kids age 3-13, this book offers easy-to-implement advice for the most important challenges parents face with kids from toddlers to tweens.

• Includes immediate solutions to the most common childhood problems and challenges
• Written by Today Show's resident parenting expert Michele Borba
• Offers clear step-by-step guidance for solving difficult childhood behaviors and family conflicts
• Contains a wealth of advice that is easy-to-follow and gets quick results
• Author has written outstanding parenting books including Building Moral Intelligence, No More Misbehavin', Don't Give Me that Attitude, and more

Each of the 101 issues includes clear questions, specific step-by-step solutions, and advice that is age appropriate.

Top Ten Proven Parenting Solutions
Content from Dr. Michele Borba

Here is just a sample of the hundreds of proven and simple tips from Dr. Borba’s latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. The best news is that these solutions work for all ages, take less than a minute to do, are based on proven research and when consistently used will reap lasting change.

1. Get attention: Lower your voice almost to a whisper and then say your request. Kids aren’t used to a quiet request.

2. Increase positive behavior: Research shows that giving kids the right kind of praise (called “positive reinforcement”) is one of the best ways to shape new behavior. So, catch your kid doing the action you want. Just make sure your praise is specific and tells your child exactly what he did right. (Adding “because” or “that” takes your praise up a notch. “I’m so impressed that you started your homework all by yourself this time.”)

3. Stretch persistence: Praising the child’s effort (“You’re working so hard”) and not inherent intelligence (”You’re so smart”) is proven to enhance perseverance and performance, but the child is also more likely to bounce back from a mistake—all because he feels success is not mixed.

4. Reduce fear: Expose your child to a fear in small manageable doses and help them develop a statement to speak back to the worry (“Go away worry!” or “I can do this!”)

5. Curb a tantrum: The longer you give attention to a tantrum the longer it lasts. Ignore, ignore, ignore!

6. Nurture kindness: Encourage your child to use the Two Praise Rule everyday. “Say or do at least two kind things to someone.” Random acts of kindness really are catchy!

7. Increase assertiveness: Stress: “Look at the color of the talker’s eyes.” Using eye contact helps kids appear confident. Strong body posture also helps a child be less likely to be bullied.

8. Friendship builder: The two most commonly used traits of well-liked kids are “smiling” and “encouraging.” Reinforce those traits in your child to boost his friendship quotient.

9. Develop healthy eating habits. Eating relaxed family meals regularly enhances kids’ psychosocial well- being, boosts grades and deters behaviors like smoking and drinking and eating disorders as well as teaches the child healthy eating habits.

10. Curb nagging. Say "no" the first time and don’t back down. The average kid nags nine times knowing the parent will give in.

From Publishers Weekly

Borba, author and Today Show regular, employs a cookbooklike approach in her latest volume: rather than read through the entire tome, parents can flip to topics pertinent to their family. Borba opens with a friendly overview, noting that contemporary parents feel more stressed and find their roles increasingly difficult (June Cleaver, she points out, didn't have to deal with cyberbullying or Facebook). With characteristic wit, Borba identifies the seven deadly parenting styles, including helicopter, buddy, incubator, bandage, paranoid, accessory parenting (judging themselves by their kids' accolades) and secondary parenting (relinquishing power to such outsiders as marketers or the media). In nine sections on family, behavior, character, emotions, social scene, school, special needs, day-to-day and electronics, the author urges readers to roll up their sleeves and get back to basic, instinctual parenting. As she tackles 101 issues ranging from sibling rivalry, lying and peer pressure to cell-phone use and TV addiction, Borba helps readers identify the reason underlying the behavior or problem, and work with 10 essential principles of change. With her no-nonsense yet compassionate voice, Borba once again delivers an indispensable resource for parents of toddlers to 13-year-olds. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 694 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (September 8, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0787988316
• ISBN-13: 978-0787988319
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 2 x 9.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (53 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #206,194 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr.Michele Borba is a TODAY contributor and regular parent expert on shows including The View, CNN and Dr. Phil. She is an educational psychologist, former teacher and mom who is recognized for her solution-based strategies to strengthen a child's behavior and character.Titles include PARENTS DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, NO MORE MISBEHAVIN', BUILDING MORAL INTELLIGENCE, and 12 SIMPLE SECRETS REAL MOMS KNOW. Her latest book is THE BIG BOOK OF PARENTING SOLUTIONS: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. Blog: www.micheleborba.com or twitter: @micheleborba.com.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 27 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazingly thorough and relevant. October 13, 2009

By tachi1 TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)

I am a grandmother. My parents used to say "little kids: little problems; big kids: big problems." In today's world, even if your kids are little, there can be big problems. My own generation of parents didn't have to deal with the internet, or violence in the schools, or an increasingly violent, permissive, and sexually explicit society. Sure, problems existed--but somewhere else. Now they are in your own back yard, regardless of where your back yard is.

From the moment my daughter got pregnant, I realized the parenting environment has changed. I expected that methods of putting the baby to sleep would be different of course--that changes every few years--but questioning vaccinations? I decided I had to read up on the new thinking.

I have to confess that I was worried. I have seen so many spoiled children in stores, restaurants, and other public places that I had reached the conclusion that modern parents either didn't believe in discipline or didn't want to bother. What I realized from this book is that, although many of the problems are different (and pretty serious and complex), the underlying methodology, the basic philosophies of good parenting, and the goals and purpose of good parents have not changed.

I have great sympathy for today's parents. Their battle to instill character and values is much more difficult than mine was, even though we brought up our children in the age of conspicuous consumption and a snobbish concern for designer labels. This societal message made children think that they were what they had or what they wore and it was a challenge to get them to define themselves according to real values. (Apparently, that problem is still ongoing, as it is directly addressed, and very well, under the topic of "Materialistic"....)

But so are many other topics that might (or might not) affect you at some time: Is your child bossy with her friends? Is he ungrateful or selfish or spoiled? Is he gifted? Is he defiant and hot-tempered? Is she suffering due to the end of a friendship? Hooked on rewards? Watches too much television? Shy? A bully (or the victim of a bully)? You name it. It is here.

This book, which is encyclopedic in its scope, covers each topic with sensitivity, intelligence, practicality, great common sense and with a stress on intervening early to deal with the problem behavior or situation. It breaks up the problem into its components: first the signs and symptoms, then the immediate steps to address the problem, then the long-term changes that need to be implemented. It also tells you how that behavior is manifested in different ages and what you should expect from a child depending on his age. There is also recommended reading on the topic in case you want to research it further.

It is a great resource, not only for parents who are trying to bring up their children from pre-school through the pre-teen years, but also for grandparents who need to understand what our children and grandchildren are up against so we can offer help, support and, only occasionally, advice. Read more ›

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars If You Are Looking For One Book, One Resource To Help Parent Toddlers To Teens, The BIG Book of Parenting Solutions is it! September 9, 2009

By Cammie

Format:Paperback

When you see this book, you will realize this includes Michele Borba's work over the last 20 years. It is one BIG BOOK! She has accumulated over 20 years worth of research and includes the most up to date issues parents face today. This is not meant to read through in one sitting. It is meant to be a reference book that you come back to again and again.

This book includes up to date topics such as cell phones, video games, cyberbullying, and internet safety. One section addresses school and includes topics on special needs ranging from ADHD, Gifted, Learning Disabilities, Weight Issues and even Depression. In addition, Michele Borba addresses issues related to family, behavior, character and emotions. For the most part, any topic you will need to address from toddler to tween is included.

Dr. Michele Borba is frequently featured as a Parent Expert on the TODAY Show. Just this past month, I have seen her on the show 3 times. I enjoy watching her because she comes across as if she is having a conversation with you instead of just passing along information. It is easy to pick up on her passion for parenting when you watch her talk. This book is where she shares practical information and solutions that she has collected over the years.

As a parent that needs one book, one resource to go to, I highly recommend this book.

If you only get one parenting book, this is the one I would recommend for dealing with kids ages 3-13.

Cammie

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Comprehensive and Smart Parenting Book I've Seen September 11, 2009

By Angela Eaton

Format:Paperback

I highly recommend this book to any parent. I have had my share of parenting challenges and have turned to a slew of other parenting books looking for solutions. I may have found nuggets of information in each book, but each book ultimately was narrowily focused on one issue or point of view. But never before have I seen anything so comprehensive and smart as this book. When I first received The Big Book of Parenting (apply named...it IS big!), I started paging through it. It is setup like a reference book - you look for the topic that you are interested in. My kids were fighting at the moment, so I looked at sibling rivalry. Then I was thinking about how my son has been indecisive lately, to the point that it concerned me. Low and behold, there is a section on indecision. I was so surprised. How did she know I was worried about this??

Not only are the topics comprehensive, they are pertinent to today's parent. Just flipping through, I see topics like, "Growing Up Too Fast," "Disciplining Other Kids," "Organized Sports," "TV Addiction," and "Hooked on Rewards." And of course, Michele covers the classic parenting dilemas like sibling rivalry, stealing, and separation anxiety. I particularly appreciated the section on birth order - the traits and challenges of the first child, middle child, only child, etc., and the section titled, "The Deadliest Forms of Parenting."

More than other books, The Big Book of Parenting provides so much substance on each topic. Signs and symptoms of the problem, why you should work toward change, multiple solutions from multiple angles, creative ideas from other parents, the latest research, what to expect age by age, and other references to consult.... It is simply packed with substance from which any parent can glean clarity and take away immediate action steps. And you walk away feeling not like you have to buy into one expert's point of view, but rather that you have gathered the best of the best research and advice. Thank you, Michele, for this valuable resource. Read more ›

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Overall Reference, Very Useful October 22, 2009

By K. Groh TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)

Parents often say, "I wish kids came with a manual." This book could be it.

This is a very comprehensive book about raising children and covers so many topics that it should be good for most parents.

Major sections include: Family (adopted, divorce, middle child, new baby, etc.); Behavior (argues, back talk, biting, bossy, etc.); Character (bad manners, cheats, insensitive, intolerant, etc.); Emotions (angry, dependent, fearful, grief, etc.); Social Scene (bad friends, bullied, bullying, cliques, etc.); School (day care, gives up, homework, leadership, etc.); Special Needs (attention deficit, autism spectrum disorder, depressed, gifted, etc.); Day to Day (bathroom battles, boredom, chores, communicating, etc.); Electronics (cell phone, cyberbullying, internet safety, tv addiction, etc.).

Each topic defines the problem, gives you 'red flags' to look for, reasons to change, signs and symptoms, and multiple solutions. Often there are research notes as well as solutions that worked specifically from another parent's perspective.

The solutions are practical, make sense, and don't ask parents to do things that they might not be comfortable with. Parents are often asked to look at themselves as well - how do I react when this happens? Am I encouraging the bad behavior with my actions or words?

This is a very thorough, well written and easy to understand reference book. You may start by reading through some chapters and then going back to specific issues as they arise. It is not really a book that you will read cover to cover and retain all the information.

If you have an issue with your child, the book will only change what you are willing to work on.... As with any parenting solution, to get to a different place, it does require behavior changes and commitment or the behavior will continue and parents will be frustrated.

Each section is comprehensive but it is not a complete guide to every problem. If your child has attention deficit disorder, this book will not tell you everything you need to know about that specific problem. It will give you an overview, it will help you better understand if your child had a friend with ADD, but further research into your child's specific problem will probably be necessary.

Overall, this is one of the best and easiest to use guides I've seen. I would highly recommend this book for any parent, even if your child is does not have any specific issues at this time. Read more ›