The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance [Paperback]

Dr. John Trent (Author), Dr. Gary Smalley (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 3, 2011

The best-selling classic that helps children thrive today and experience a special future tomorrow. Now revised, updated, and enhanced for a new generation!

Children of every age long for the gift of “the blessing” — the unconditional love and approval that come from a healthy relationship with their parents. This life-changing gift, essential for instilling a deep sense of self-worth and unshakable emotional well-being, contains five essential elements: meaningful touch, a spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future, and an active commitment.

Offering solid, practical advice and a fresh perspective on making this gift a bigger part of our families, The Blessing powerfully communicates these biblically based elements as necessary to prepare children for positive future relationships, including their relationship with a loving God.

But what if we’ve missed out on the blessing in our own lives? The book includes hope for “reversing the curse” and helps readers find blessing in situations of divorce, death, desertion, adoption, and blended families.

New to this updated edition are practical ideas, questions, exercises, and links for online resources — plus practical advice for planning a blessing event for a child, preparing a written keepsake blessing, and living out the blessing every day of our lives.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. John Trent is president of StrongFamilies.com and founder of The Institute for the Blessing at Barclay College. John is a sought-after speaker and an award-winning author of more than twenty books, including six books for children. He has been a featured guest on numerous radio and television programs and leads The Blessing Challenge, a joint partnership with Focus on the Family and StrongFamilies.com. John and his wife, Cindy, have two grown daughters, Kari and Laura.

 Dr. Gary Smalley, one of the foremost experts on family relationships, has written or cowritten more than sixty books and thirty-five videos, selling more than six million copies. With more than forty years of experience, he is a best-selling and award-winning author and has appeared on hundreds of local and national radio and television shows. He and his wife, Norma, have been married more than forty five years and have three grown children, all in full-time ministry.

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson; Rev Upd edition (May 3, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0849946379
• ISBN-13: 978-0849946370
• Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (68 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #22,950 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Bountiful Blessing June 17, 2011

By W. Easley TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)

Blessing others is a strong positive action that communicates so much more than a theological treatise, or even a sermon. Finding a way to communicate unconditional love is at the very heart of religion, and is critical to psychological growth.

Trent and Smalley's new edition of "Blessing" treads the path of building the psychological foundation of love and self esteem in children. Additionally it emphasizes the value of offering acceptance to everyone we encounter. The guidance offered is valuable to anyone who is religious, but is also wisdom for everyone who cares about people.

Trent and Smalley suggest five vital factors to giving a blessing: Meaningful and appropriate touch; a spoken message; attaching high value to the one being blessed; picturing a special future for him or her; an active commitment to fulfill the blessing.

1. Use meaningful and appropriate touch.
Many psychologists would suggest that humans require touch from others to help them feel loved and accepted. Children, especially need physical closeness to grow emotionally. Trent and Smalley posit that such behavior helps a child grow spiritually. The authors suggest that we provide meaningful touch to those we love, as touch communicates love. .

2. Best to use a spoken message.
Trent and Smalley say that spoken words of encouragement are invaluable with our children and friends. The power of the spoken word can be awesome, as it can depress or nurture. . Praise multiplies positive feelings toward others and God.

3. We should use a message that the receiver will perceive as attaching high value.
Empty praise is not of permanent value because the subject will eventually question the comment and maybe its source. Humans need to feel valued and they feel that best when they believe that their loved ones value them highly. Communicating that a person is valuable results in feelings of unconditional love. Such love allows God's love to blossom.

4. Help them by communicating a view that is picturing a special future.
Praise in the present is helpful, but praise that projects into the future is priceless. If I can communicate to my loved one that he/she is really special and will continue to be special tomorrow and next year, I increase the impact of my love.

5. Provide them an active commitment - you will help them succeed.
Often my children can become overwhelmed by the effort required to develop and grow. Frequently they need my help, but fail to recognize that I am anxious to give it. Maybe I can be like the example to which the authors refer of that favorite teacher who claimed that if a student failed, he failed. He was always available to help students understand and improve.

In "The Blessing" Trent and Smalley provide numerous Biblical and secular examples to explain their principles. Although some of the Biblical examples may not seem to precisely support their points, others are brilliant fits and carefully extended. The secular examples are realistic and precise. This book is not a tough read.

"The Blessing- Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance" is an excellent book. I recommend this text to anyone who desires to help others grow religiously, emotionally and psychologically.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Too Many Anecdotes, Not Enough Guidance July 27, 2011

By CrimsonGirl VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)

I really like the premise of "The Blessing" and agree with the authors that one of the most important things a parent needs to do is to bestow the gift of the blessing upon each of his or her children. As a Christian, I liked how the authors incorporated Scripture into the book and used Biblical examples to illustrate their points.

The reason I only gave this book 3 stars instead of 4 or 5 was because there were far too many personal anecdotes and not enough guidance on how exactly a parent should go about giving the blessing. I didn't need to be convinced of the importance of blessing my children- I just need a little more constructive advice on how to do it. Reading sob story upon sob story of people who missed out on the blessing from their parents frankly got rather boring. If I wanted to hear those kinds of stories, I'd turn on "Oprah" or similar show. I didn't read this book because I wanted to hear about how awful growing up in a dysfunctional family is. I read it because I was interested in learning how to make my parenting a better reflection of the amazing love God has shown for all of His children.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read for Parents July 8, 2011

By Brian Dembo

Format:Paperback

The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance, Revised & Updated
by John Trent and Gary Smalley

We live in an age when many parents believe that their greatest parental responsibility is to provide for the material needs of their children. While this is certainly important, elevating this to prominence has had two tragic consequences. First, our society has become hyper-materialistic. Second, the spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs of many children are often neglected. Providing food, clothes, and shelter (and iPods, Wii's, smart phones, etc.) doesn't make one a good parent. It's much more than that.

In "The Blessing," John Trent and Gary Smalley draw from personal experience and years of study and counseling to explain one of the greatest needs of children: the blessing. The blessing consists of five essential elements: meaningful touch, a spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future, and an active commitment. In essence, the blessing involves parents intentionally affirming their children.

The book consists of four parts. In Part 1, the authors explain the importance of the blessing. In Part 2, they define and describe the blessing. In Part 3, they discuss various situations when the blessing isn't given. Finally, in Part 4 the authors issue a challenge to parents to give a blessing to their children.

The concept of a blessing may seem quite basic to some, but Trent and Smalley do an outstanding job of presenting its Biblical foundation while simultaneously providing anecdotal evidence demonstrating its importance. Having received a blessing from my parents (even if the term was never used) and striving to bless my children, I can attest to its value and strongly affirm "The Blessing." I would go as far to recommend that all parents, especially those of younger children, read this book to help them understand the importance of blessing their children. This book would especially make a good gift to first-time expecting parents.

Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com bloggers program.I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions I have expressed are my own.