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A semi-entertaining soap opera as only the 90's can make them...
on February 6, 2013
The 90's was all about melodrama, especially in the early years. Almost every big budget movie was formatted like a made for television Lifetime soap complete with slinky scores consisting of horns luring us into the theaters. The fact that this was originally intended to be made in the 70's starring Diana Ross and Steve McQueen is a real interesting fact because the 70's was all about grit and it would have spurned a very different movie (also since those two 70's stars had more actorly talent than the stars of this 90's hit). I almost wish I could see THAT version, since this one was so...well, meh.
Like I mentioned in my title, this is entertaining, but it isn't enthralling or really all that memorable. It feels very much like a made for TV film, right down to the cringe worthy dialog and the horrible acting (sorry, but Whitney was atrocious here).
The film centers on an arrogant diva named Rachel Marron who is living the high life as a pop star and looking forward to winning an Oscar. Unbeknownst to her, she has been receiving creepy letters from some psycho talking about her death and someone broke into her house and so she is receiving a new bodyguard who she isn't even sure she needs. That bodyguard is Frank, the man with only one facial feature and no real personality. Things get more complicated when Frank and Rachel get intimate and Rachel's jealous sister stars to bare her teeth and then someone tries to get dirty and actually kill Rachel and then she wins the Oscar and, well, she closes the movie by singing `I Will Always Love You' in a strange moment that doesn't entirely make sense.
Whitney's acting is scary bad, and Costner mopes his way through another performance. The bad guys are easily spotted (so predictable) and some of the scenes are so bizarrely overdramatized in a way that isn't necessary. Still, it was fun, I guess, and the music is killer (although the segments that show Rachel's music videos are laugh out loud hilarious). It's funny to me that the star song of this film was `I Will Always Love You', which was a cover of the Dolly Parton hit from the 80's (`Best Little Whorehouse'). Like, that was a dumb move, especially since `I Have Nothing' is arguably a better song and yet suffered by being a shadowy feature and never made a focal point. `I Have Nothing' is even a better song than the Oscar winning `A Whole New World' and could have won (probably not, considering how beloved `Aladdin' was and still is) but it really had no shot thanks to `I Will Always Love You' hogging all the attention.
Anyways, this is a guilty pleasure, but I don't feel guilty about not really liking it all that much. I understand the fans, but this is kind of lame and makes for a time waster that is only advisable on a day when you really want to waste time.