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The Botox Diaries: A Novel [Paperback]

Janice Kaplan , Lynn Schnurnberger
3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (60 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 10, 2005
In a world where plastic surgery is as popular as a pair of sexy Manolo Blahniks, suburban single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to make it past forty with nothing more than moisturizer and a swipe of mascara. Her glamorous best friend, TV producer Lucy Baldor, has a different idea of aging gracefully. “My body is a temple,” Lucy explains. “I just don’t want it to crumble like St. John the Divine.”
Jess and Lucy’s friendship has weathered the trials of marriage, the births of children, and the transition from itty-bitty bikinis to “Kindest Cut” one-piece suits. Now the women are discovering that midlife crises aren’t just for men—they’re equal-opportunity dilemmas.
To Jess’s dismay, Lucy announces that she’s taken a lover. A very famous lover. Her husband, Dan, is bound to find out (especially after a picture of the amorous duo appears on Page Six of the New York Post), but Lucy’s too wrapped up in the joys of expensive lingerie and romantic retreats to care. Jess finds herself in the midst of her own romantic predicament when, after ten years of silence, her sexy French ex-husband, Jacques, ends up back in her life—and in her bed.

Whether navigating bake sales, bicoastal affairs, or bagels-and-Botox parties, these wise and witty women know that their friendship will remain the one true thing they can count on. Well, that and a good push-up bra, of course. And their bond withstands everything—from an orgy in Willie Nelson’s trailer to a reality TV-show bachelor named Boulder.
Funny, brazen, and often poignant, this irresistible novel offers an unexpected and entertaining look at two women’s midlife adventures. From Thai massage to tantric sex, who would have thought forty could be so much fun?


From the Hardcover edition.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Moneyed suburban moms are the belles of this midlife romantic comedy. Divorced Jess Taylor saw the back side of 40 a few years ago, but doesn't much care. She's got her bubbly 10-year-old daughter, Jen, a house in New York City suburb Pine Hills and a fulfilling job at the Arts Council for Kids. She's also got a similarly equipped best friend—except Lucy has a glamorous TV producer gig, loving husband Dan, and now, suddenly, a famous TV show host lover. Jess is appalled, but secretly she wonders if she's not missing out. Enter Jacques, long-ago ex-husband, who's just as unsuitable—and sexy—as ever. Sprightly Jen is determined to get her mom hitched, up to and including booking her on a reality dating show. Meanwhile, Jess has to get New York City's wealthy and aptly named Alpha Moms together to cast their children alongside project kids in a small-scale benefit production of My Fair Lady, which somehow ends up taking place at Lincoln Center. This amiable, good-natured comedy will put the reader in mind of her favorite flannel pajamas—not sexy, exactly, but comfortable and fun.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Best friends Jess and Lucy have seen each other through everything: Jess' divorce from her sexy French husband and the adoption of her daughter, Jen; Lucy's marriage to the perfect suburban father, Dan, and her tenacious clawing to the top of the television show production heap. Now they face their forties and must get through what appears to be a second childhood. Glamorous and flighty Lucy is having a hot affair with one of Hollywood's most beloved stars, dependable Dan is nursing a crush on his wife's best friend, and suburban single-mom Jess is herding a flock of bored young Park Avenue mothers determined to stage a charity production featuring ghetto kids and their own offspring. Only the strength of the women's friendship can get them through an hour of Thai massage, an orgy in Willie Nelson's trailer, and snobby PTA meetings. With snappy dialogue, hilarious and lovable characters, and enough tension to keep the pages turning, this first-time collaboration will be a great beach read. Kaite Mediatore
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; Reprint edition (May 10, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345468589
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345468581
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.1 x 8.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 2.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (60 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #330,103 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

What I got what a dull book that I had to force myself to finish. A. Vegan  |  12 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Injecting some fun December 3, 2004
Format:Hardcover
It's no secret that most chick-lit books are for the twentysomething crowd -- a few are for thirtysomethings. But Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger aim a bit higher in "The Botox Diaries," an entertaining but flawed look at the lives of New York's fortysomething mothers and wives.

Single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to keep up with the deranged supermoms, while her flighty producer pal Lucy fixes her up on disastrous dates with horny plastic surgeons. And then Jessica realizes that Lucy is cheating on her lovable husband Dan, with a boorish TV host. Now Jessica is stuck between her two friends, as Lucy takes resort trips and tantric sex lessons with her new lover. What makes it even worse is that Lucy's "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" attitude is exactly like that of Jessica's ex-husband, Jacques.

Coincidentally, Jacques then reappears in Jessica's life, and seems to be trying to win her back. She allows herself to be swept along, but wonders what it is really up -- and if Jacques can learn to be faithful. Between reluctantly dating a gay surfer and attending a Botox party, Jessica struggles to fix both her own life and Lucy's disintegrating marriage.

Few books take a look at the female midlife crisis -- let's face it, women can panic as easily as men about turning forty. Even so, it's a bit hard not to cringe as Lucy blithely cheats on her husband, assuming that her side nookie won't be uncovered. At one point, the wit falls away in favor of drama, when it looks like Lucy's marriage is over forever.

But the book is about more than just midlife crises -- Kaplan and Schnurnberger also look at experienced romance, aging (and Botox), motherhood, and the pressure to keep up with deranged supermoms. Their style is witty and detailed, although the plot tends to meander. However, they have a witty, literate edge to their writing, without seeming to name-drop. Jessica's description of Chekhov as a Russian "Sex and the City" is hilarious.

Jessica is the "au naturel" one -- she's very unself-conscious and down to earth. She's a little too passive, however -- why couldn't she tip Dan off anonymously? Lucy is a stereotype of the shallow, overmoneyed woman, and Jacques a stereotype of the faithless French lover. Sadly, the book falls into the old chick-lit trap of providing a convenient love interest for Jessica, though they have zero chemistry and he appears less often than the Gen-X gay surfer.

An awkward love story mars this story of love, motherhood, infidelity and botulism. But "The Botox Diaries" is still an entertaining read, especially for the forty-plus set -- really, aren't you sick of all chick-lit heroines being the same age?
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Beach Book Of The Summer June 12, 2004
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover
The Botox Diaries is a fabulous book about two women in their forties, Jess and Lucy, which is breezy, fun and more. Lucy goes through a mid-life crisis and ends up in an affair with a famous TV star -whose name I just loved!- Hunter Green. Jess' French ex-husband, Jacques, has come back to New York and is chasing her again. The plot is fast paced and funny and you really end up caring about Jess and Lucy and their friendship. This is a fabulous book which is perfect for all of us who loved "The Devil Wears Prada" and "Sex and the City". LOVED IT.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars More Than Chick Lit June 9, 2004
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover
The Botox Diaries is a cut above even the best chick lit.
When I think of chick lit I think of improbable people in improbable situations. And the characters are usually too brittle to be believable.
These characters, on the other hand, have famlies, homes, jobs --and mishaps. There's an "I Love Lucy" strain to this novel that takes comedy past one-liners. The characters and situations are genuinely funny.
At the same time, "The Botox Diaries" is part fairy-tale--which is to say that it's far less cynical than most chick-lit. The characters have hearts and real relationships--not just with men, but with daughters, neighbors, friends.
This is what makes it such a good read.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Not for me
It was hard to identify with the characters in this story. The plot moved along nicely, however I found myself anxious to finish the book so that I could get on to something more... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Chris from Des Moines
4.0 out of 5 stars A fun read
Perfect for a holiday read. 40 something best friends both having midlife crisis and angst. But true love, some maturity and retail therapy saves the day. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Lydia Lefkowitz
3.0 out of 5 stars Good Read
I read this book bc I read the previous book by these authors. It was really good and I liked it more then The Men I Didn't Marry. Read more
Published 11 months ago by MissKurin
2.0 out of 5 stars Ehhh.
But this book frustrated me to no end. The thing I hated the most was the annoying dichotomy--on the one hand "being rich is so uber awesome and it makes me more awesome than... Read more
Published on May 17, 2011 by SassyFrass
4.0 out of 5 stars The Botox Diaries
This book is lighthearted, predictable, and I would still recommend it to anyone looking for a good beach read. It was fun, indulgant, and easy to read.
Published on January 25, 2011 by NavyWife2006
1.0 out of 5 stars Really, really bad!...Just BAD....
I think the great reviews are the authors' friends, parent, editors...etc. This book is so dumb and boring it's unbelievable that anyone over 16 would be entertained by it. Read more
Published on July 13, 2009 by T. Vidal
1.0 out of 5 stars HORRIBLE, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.
I'm sorry I wasted my time on this book. It was horrible!

If I could have, I would have given it zero stars.
Published on August 12, 2008 by T. Chartier
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious!
These two authors write absolutely hysterically funny material for us "older women"!!!! Once started, it is with great difficulty to put it down. Read more
Published on July 29, 2008 by rosiel
2.0 out of 5 stars Readable, But Bad
The Nannie Diaries, The Devil Wears Prada, The Ivy Chronicles... The Botox Diaries joins a long list of chick lit with the theme "aren't rich people crazy and amusing? Read more
Published on July 27, 2008 by JM Flaubert
5.0 out of 5 stars loved it!
i thought botox diaries was funny at times you feel like you know lucy and jess. i am 25 and didnt relate to the charcters as being in there 40's i thought they were funny. Read more
Published on March 25, 2008 by Angela M. Raso
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