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The Cat Food Chronicles (Part 2) [Kindle Edition]

Maya Pruett
2.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $0.99

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Book Description


DEATH ... DRAMA ... DIVAS ... MEoOOW!

An award winning novel about two psychic sisters, one psychic cat, an irkily handsome detective, and a dead celebutante! (Humorous Fiction 16 & up) Some strong language.

Synopsis:
Following
in the footsteps of Britney, Lindsay and the likes, Callie Bryant,
Hollywood's newest bad girl, comes to town as the lead in the much
awaited Romeo and Juliet ... the rock opera.

When Callie actually dies on stage, Lily, Holly and Spooky
(two psychic sisters and one psychic cat) get together with the irkily
handsome, yet musically inclined Detective Richardson to solve the
crime.

Set in San Francisco, The Cat Food Chronicles is a story of cats, crime, cuisine, and lol comedy.

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Chapter One
Spooky

I know this sounds weird, but I can
read lips. Of course, you're probably thinking, why would a cat want to read
lips? A fair question and the answer is I don't. The fact is, I can't hear so
great. I can read minds though; how's that for a wing-dinger? Yep, I'm
telepathic, so really the hearing impediment thing isn't much of a problem, and
well, actually I tend to only read lips if I'm preoccupied. Guess who was
preoccupied?

I was all curled up on the Lazyboy
under the big palm watching my favorite show on the boob tube. Lily was on the
phone, imagine that, and things were getting a little nutty for Batman and the
Boy Wonder.

It seems Batman and the Boy Wonder
were just about to be sawn in half when I happened to glance up to see Lily say
that she needed a CAT Scan. At first, I thought she said 'cat scam'; I mean,
who would she need me to scam? I'm not that kind of cat anyway, how dare she
even insinuate such a thing. But then she said it again.

"Yes, I'm sure, Holly, a CAT Scan!"

Holy scantonese noodles, Batman,
what the hell do you think I need to be scanned for? I've got all my shots.
I've been de-wormed twice this year, and this is the fourth time I have made my
claws grow back.

I can make my claws grow back. I
have serious mental powers, plus I read a book by Ernest Holmes called The
Science of the Mind
, which gave me some great ideas like growing my claws
back. I'd recommend it to Oprah.

I hopped off the Lazyboy and went into
the kitchen and circled around Lily's legs, but Lily just kept blabbing away
about scanning me. I glanced at the TV where a giant maniacal saw was whirling
steadily toward the dynamic duo. It was too much; I couldn't concentrate; CAT
Scan overload--so I beat it out of there.

I sprinted out into the cool night
air, glad to be away from even the idea of a scanning. I was hungry, as usual,
which meant I needed a San Francisco treat, and let me tell you, I wasn't
thinking about Rice a Roni. I licked my soon to be grubby little paws and made
my way down the north-face fire escape.

I live in an area that many years
ago housed dockworkers and fisherman. The area is called Telegraph Hill, and
there are a lot of cats in the neighborhood.

The building I live in is called The
Old Brown
. Lily and Holly inherited it. They're lucky as hell too, boy,
because this is prime San Francisco real estate. We more or less remodeled The
Old Brown
ourselves. It took us about twelve years. Holly lives up top and
Lily lives bottom side.

I was thinking that it's always
nice to get out of the house when I came to The Greenwich Stairs. I looked
around really good; the coast seemed clear but, just in case, I shot down 'em
like a rocket.

The stairs are The Greenwich Street
Stairs, and they're famous. About three months ago, some ass-lip kicked me down
them and my ribs still hurt from the tumble. Humans are often cruel. Anyway, I
don't want to think about that. I want to think about Batman.


Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

"Great read, and who would have guessed Spooky Sinclair (St Clair), was related to Jesus!" -WOMAN WHO SAW THE MOVIE, The Da Vinci Code

"I read the first part of the six part series. All it made me want to do is kick that cat down some stairs!" -DRUNK DUDE IN SAN FRANCISCO

"The book is a fast read, but the cat laughs like a real person throughout the book, and I'm gonna tell you, I think that's creepy!" -FUTURE LOTTO WINNER

"The CFC is a cheeky read, but blimey, that dish Spooky is full of it! And when I say it, I mean bangers and mash. The tart ran off with me whole lot and left me and me wife with nothing." -AN OLD FAT ENGLISH BLOKE, PLAYING CHESS AT THE PARK

About the Author

Maya Pruett is an award winning author who dreams of being on American Idol and is P.O.ed that it wasn't around when she grew up. She likes animal crackers in her soup and has been know to barbeque a burrito or two. She lives in Austin with a borrowed cat and is definitely keeping it weird!

Product Details

  • File Size: 147 KB
  • Print Length: 54 pages
  • Publisher: Worthington Press Publishing House (September 19, 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B009DTR0FM
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #696,047 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?


Customer Reviews

2.3 out of 5 stars
(6)
2.3 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliantly funny December 5, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
I'm really getting into this series. It's so crazy and hilarious! It kind of reminds me of a short story written by Kim Harrison from the POV of her pixy character Jenks - in that the unusual POV was what made it so fresh and funny. If you like a fun read then what are you waiting for - pick up this series, it won't disappoint.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Cat food tales for the soul October 30, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Part two is great, it really got me into the story. The character development is very spicy and eloquent. I now feel like I am on an incredible journey. This book will appeal to a large audience because it has a lot of depth and the diversity of the characters will give readers a lot to relate to. This book is for young and old and everyone in between. Try it you will love it !!!!!
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars It was bad. March 4, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I regret having spent money on this. It appeared to be written by someone with ADD. There were entirely too many tangents and even the tangents had tangents...
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More About the Author

Maya likes to count chickens before and after they're hatched, attempt car repossession alone at night, debate television personalities while in her living room, and of course speed-walk!

She is the creator of Spooky Sinclair, the lead character in the delightfully ridiculous, six-part serial novel, The Cat Food Chronicles. Maya is a writer, actress, and make-up artist with national and international credits. She has been professionally entertaining people for over 25 years, and was the recipient of the 2008 Santa Barbara Writers Conference Endowed Scholarship Award, launched by the late great Ray Bradbury. Maya writes in many genres, including fiction, non-fiction, children's, and young adult.

If you would like to learn more about Maya, please visit her website or follow her on Twitter, Facebook or her blog.

http://www.mayapruett.com/
https://twitter.com/mayapruett
http://www.facebook.com/#!/mayapruett
http://mayapruett.blogspot.com/
http://mayapruett.wordpress.com/
http://www.mayapruett@gmail.com

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Spooky's Bio:

Let's see ... about me:
Obliviously, I'm a poet. I live in San Francisco. I love rock n roll, funk too! I love to eat. My favorite food is Mexican Food, but I love all cuisines! My best friends are Holly and Lily Worthington. They're twins, and they're super funny. My favorite thing to do is lay around and read. I do that most everyday when I'm not working. When I work, I work pro bono, because I like to help people. I'm a psychic, so currently; I am helping the irkily handsome, yet musically inclined Detective Richardson solve a crime. Oh Ya, one more thing, I loooove to dance!

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