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The Chemistry of Connection: How the Oxytocin Response Can Help You Find Trust, Intimacy, and Love [Paperback]

Susan Kuchinskas
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)

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Book Description

April 2, 2009 1572246235 978-1572246232 1

When you make love, cuddle with a partner, or have coffee with close friends, a powerful brain chemical called oxytocin floods your body with feelings of contentment and trust. This natural "love drug," produced by the hypothalamus, is responsible for human bonding in both platonic and intimate relationships, and is the key to many of the psychological differences between men and women. In The Chemistry of Connection, you'll learn easy ways to increase your natural supply of oxytocin to establish deeper connections with family, friends, and romantic partners.

You'll discover:

  • The power of the cuddle hormone in relationships
  • How sex and love are deeply entwined for both women and men
  • The chemical differences between lust, romance, and love
  • How to raise children who trust and love in a healthy way


Frequently Bought Together

The Chemistry of Connection: How the Oxytocin Response Can Help You Find Trust, Intimacy, and Love + Meet Your Happy Chemicals: Dopamine, Endorphin, Oxytocin, Serotonin + Oxytocin: The Hormone of Healing and Hope (Volume 1)
Price for all three: $25.88

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

Review

From the Publisher

The Chemistry of Connection presents new evidence about the importance of "the cuddle hormone" (oxytocin) in human relationships and shows readers how they can harness its power to find love, bond with their mates, and build deeper connections with others.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 176 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (April 2, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1572246235
  • ISBN-13: 978-1572246232
  • Product Dimensions: 0.4 x 5.9 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #163,132 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Susan Kuchinskas is a journalist with 15 years' experience and thousands of published articles on science, technology and culture. She writes regularly for WebMD, and her work has appeared in a wide variety of technology, business and consumer publications, from Art & Antiques to Time to Wired. While researching a magazine article, she became fascinated by the oxytocin response, because it explained so much about her life and relationships. As she wrote the book, she tracked research and news about oxytocin in her blog, Hug the Monkey, which is now recognized as one of the most authoritative sources for information on oxytocin on the web.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally, Love Explained! REALLY helped me. October 14, 2009
By J. West
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I believe that this book is changing my life for the better in some really important ways. I was so fortunate to be able to read it just as I was getting into a new romantic relationship. It explained to me so much of what was going on with us, both in the first wonderful flush of attraction and lust, and now when we've "hit the wall" and are trying to deal with the disappointment of realizing it's not all as perfect and rosy as we'd thought. Thanks to this book, I think I know how to do this stage in a more healing and less blaming way than I did in past relationships, and I am hopeful that this time love will last. The author not only gives insight into the biochemistry of connection, she suggests specific ways to heal from old wounds that keep us from getting the love we want. I hear so many people talking about their troubled love life, or lack of a love life, and I always want to say to them, "Buy this book! It explains just what's puzzling or frustrating you about your relationships, and what to do about it!"
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great New Book on Bonding April 7, 2009
Format:Paperback
This excellent new book explains the nature of attachment and clarifies the issues involved in a unique way that makes important contributions to understanding the complex issues involved.
"Play, " as Susan Kuchinskas, author of The Chemistry of Connection reports may begin soon after birth, and is "an essential part of mothering. It begins with a very simple form of peek-a-boo: mother and baby gaze into each other's eyes; the baby's joy builds, and then he looks away for a moment. When he looks back, he meets his mother's eyes: She's there for him. As the baby grows, and his brain continues to develop, they play more games together...These games with his mother play a serious role in shaping the baby's attachment system. He learns to trust his mother and, through her, the rest of the world. As they play, his hypothalamus releases oxytocin, the neurochemical of trust and attachment. He's learning a model of positive interactions that he'll be able to use throughout his life, to connect deeply and joyfully with others. It's likely that, when he gets older, playing with special toys may also evoke the oxytocin response. He may become deeply attached to a doll or stuffed animal and get the same pleasure from it that he did from playing with his mother." Play should be to be a natural part of daily life, for all ages, and integrated into one's lifestyle in as many ways as possible so as to enhance the quality of life. I believe playfulness has been seriously overlooked as a major contributor to our development. With the contribution of this new book those of us involved in the serious work of play have yet another timely tool that helps to change that perception.

Stevanne Auerbach, Ph.D. Dr. Toy
Author Smart Play Smart Toys, [...]
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great New Way to Understand How We Love December 2, 2009
Format:Paperback
Susan Kuchinskas is a beautiful writer with a unique talent for making complex topics accessible to readers. She nails it yet again with her new book about the Oxytocin response, The Chemistry of Connection. It's a wonderful read that opened my mind about my relationships -- and how I can improve them by understanding more about this powerful hormone.

This is more than understanding how new moms bond with their babies. Kuchinskas lays out many examples of how the brain works as she chronicles the extensive symphony of physical and emotional reactions that kick off when Oxytocin surges through our bloodstreams. If you want a quick primer on how to build intimacy in ways you may not have been aware of, you've come to the right book!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating and very readable book April 17, 2009
Format:Paperback
Compact and focused, The Chemistry of Connection reports on and interprets a great body of research about what goes on inside our brains and bodies in relation to our feelings of love, trust, fear, passion, and connection. The author makes a strong case that the parenting we received in our first months and years affects how we form relationships for the rest of our lives. She also sheds light on the landmine-studded terrain of puberty. Importantly, she gives hope, even if we did not get optimal care while we were developing, by documenting the plasticity of our brains and offering some activities and exercises we can perform to strengthen our oxytocin response and reprogram our responses so that we can learn to connect, no matter how old we are.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
The Chemistry Connection has given me such valuable information! It is fascinating and informative to understand how the chemicals in our brain affect our ability to love and be loved. And to learn that we can make a difference in those chemicals without taking a pill! There's nothing for the FDA to regulate, there's no expense except for a little extra time and loving attention. Not only that, this book can so helpful to parents of infants and toddlers who wonder if they are good enough parents. At the risk of sounding cheesy: Buy it today - you'll be glad you did!
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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Although apparently marketed for women (the cover is pink), I recommend this book for men also. It explains the latest research in brain chemistry as it is applied to human interactions clearly and succinctly. This well researched book examines the connection between one's earliest childhood experiences, brain chemistry and how we interact with our families, closest friends and lovers.

If you ever wonder why the object of your affections acts so strangely this book is for you. It will help you understand the opposite sex much better than the typical shallow and sterotypical Mars & Venus type pop psychology books. The writing is excellent, it always stays on point and there is no padding. Its a good quick read that will stay with you for a long time.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars My pharmacist suggested this book to me!
Fantastic! I worked as a nurse for 20 years and only thought of Oxytocin to enhance labor in pregnant women. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Nancy Rebecca
5.0 out of 5 stars Nice book, conscientious bookseller
I originally wrote (and just removed) a negative review this purchase, as the book was described as "very good" but had extensive highlighting in a few pages near the... Read more
Published 3 months ago by mr_spock
5.0 out of 5 stars Best read ever
Really breaks down the interaction of hormones and the chemistry of love. I have never seen something so detailed and specific as to this work. It's most all one needs to know. Read more
Published 12 months ago by sds1231
4.0 out of 5 stars Oxytocin Response
Well researched and interesting to read. I find the information very helpful and easy to understand, there is no complex medical jargon or sales pitch approach. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Boz Vukotich
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has answers
Great book, has helped me understand why I have certain behaviors and why it's so hard to get along with certain people.
Published 16 months ago by Kelvin
5.0 out of 5 stars Very informative book!!!!!!
This book was very informative and helpful to understanding the way Oxytocin works in the brain and the postive effects it has on healthy and satisfying relationships.
Published 19 months ago by Stephanie
5.0 out of 5 stars outstanding book
This book gives a real-world explanation of the newest research in brain chemistry and how it affects our relationships. The exercises are great to try. Read more
Published on May 7, 2010 by Sylvia Palmer
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