The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Buy New
$10.28
Qty:1
  • List Price: $16.00
  • Save: $5.72 (36%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Add to Cart
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family Paperback – September 26, 2006


See all 12 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$10.28
$5.94 $0.59

Frequently Bought Together

The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family + The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant + American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics
Price for all three: $40.83

Buy the selected items together

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Hero Quick Promo
Browse in Books with Buzz and explore more details on selected titles, including the current pick, "The Good Girl" by Mary Kubica.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Plume; Reprint edition (September 26, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0452287634
  • ISBN-13: 978-0452287631
  • Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (66 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #176,931 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. The author of the internationally syndicated column "Savage Love" brings much-needed humor, and a reality check, to the bitter gay-marriage debate with this polemical memoir. As Savage (Skipping Towards Gomorrah) and his boyfriend, Terry, neared their 10th anniversary, Savage's mother put on the pressure for them to get married. But, Savage notes, there were several other points to consider before deciding to tie the knot: among them, the fact that marriage doesn't provide legal protection in Washington State; Terry prefers tattoos as a sign of commitment; and their six-year-old son declared that only men and women can get married. Furthermore, Savage himself worried that the relationship would be jinxed by anything more permanent than a big anniversary bash, though the one they plan quickly assumes the proportions and price of a wedding reception. While documenting the couple's wobble toward a decision, Savage skewers ideologues, both pro– and anti–gay marriage, with his radical pragmatism. Disproving Tolstoy's dictum that "happy families are all alike," he takes a sharp-eyed, compassionate look at matrimony as it is actually practiced by friends, his raucously affectionate family and even medieval Christians. When he explains to his son what marriage is really about, you want to stand up and cheer, and the surprise ending is both hilarious and a tear-jerker. As funny as David Sedaris's essay collections, but bawdier and more thought-provoking, this timely book shows that being pro-family doesn't have to mean being anti-gay. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

“Hilarious, heartfelt.” —Seattle Post-Intelligencer



“As funny as David Sedaris’s essay collections, but bawdier and more thought-provoking.” —Publisher’s Weekly (starred review)



“Most of all, a book about creating and appreciating family.” —Seattle Times



“I think America would be a better place if everyone on every side of the gay marriage debate would read this book.” —Ira Glass, host of the public radio show This American Life



“The strongest argument here, which [Savage] brilliantly plays down, is that family means everything to these people: married, not married, blended, gay, straight, whatever.” —The Washington Post


More About the Author

Dan Savage is a writer, activist, and TV personality best known for his political and social commentary, as well as his honest approach to sex, love and relationships.

Savage is the author of: American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics; The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage and My Family; Skipping Towards Gomorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Pursuit of Happiness in America (Lambda Literary Award for Nonfiction); The Kid: What Happened When My Boyfriend and I Decided to Get Pregnant (PEN West Award for Creative Nonfiction); and Savage Love. He co-authored How to be a Person. The Kid was adapted into an Off-Broadway play and has recently been optioned for film.

Savage is the Editorial Director of The Stranger, Seattle's weekly alternative newspaper, and his writing has appeared in widely in publications including The New York Times, The New York Times Magazine, GQ, Rolling Stone, The Onion, and Salon.com. Savage is also a contributor to Ira Glass's This American Life. "Savage Love" is syndicated in newspapers and websites throughout the United States, Canada, Europe and Asia.

In 2010, Savage and his husband, Terry Miller, launched a YouTube video meant to offer hope to bullied LGBTQ youth. The It Gets Better Project has become a global movement, inspiring more than 50,000 videos. Savage and Miller co-edited the It Gets Better book, published in March 2011. In 2012, the It Gets Better Project received the Governors Award at the Creative Arts Emmys.

Savage grew up in Chicago and now lives in Seattle, Washington with his husband and their son, DJ.

Photos by LaRae Lobdell.

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
5 star
48
4 star
11
3 star
4
2 star
3
1 star
0
See all 66 customer reviews
Savage is, above all, a very talented, very funny writer.
I. Sondel
The Commitment Love, Sex, Marriage and My Family Dan Savage This is a fun read on a serious subject of same sex marriage.
Gary Miller
Very snappy writing and a story that I could identify with within my own relationship.
J. Alan Lukes

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

74 of 76 people found the following review helpful By Jason A. Miller VINE VOICE on September 30, 2005
Format: Hardcover
Dan Savage's new book examines the notion of gay marriage and whether or not it's a good thing -- not just for the USA, that is, but also for Dan Savage himself and his partner of 10 years, Terry.

Part introspective memoir, and part tirade against dinosaur-minded virtuecrats currently behind the wheel in Washington D.C., "The Commitment" is at all times an energetic wake-up call questioning just what it is that drove eleven (mostly) red states to pass "anti-gay marriage" Constitutional amendments last November. Savage is strongly in favor of gay marriage in general, while not sure whether he himself wants to marry. This give the book the dimensions it needs to succeed.

The best chapters are "Blue", in which Savage looks at the current political state of this country, while casting a hopeful eye at nearby Canada; and "Two Moments of Transcendent Bliss". Followers of Savage will know that he and Terry jointly adopted a son who is now a skateboarding metalhead 6 year-old. In this latter chapter, Savage has to explain to his son what it is to be gay, and what it is to be married. If you can't make it through that chapter without being swayed by the pro-marriage argument, then none of the rest of this book is going to work for you.

I'll admit that while I'm something of a left-winger, my views have never swayed as far to the left as the death-to-Israel politics of NYC's alternative weekly "The Village Voice", where I first discovered the "Savage Love" column. I also had no strong opinion on gay marriage until last year, when I took sides during the run-up to the Presidential election. By the end of "The Commitment", I did have to question why I remained undecided on the issue for so long.

Savage's writing is 100% partisan and 100% persuasive, and he is most certainly not one of (to quote another recent partisan screed) one of the 100 people ruining America.
2 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
35 of 39 people found the following review helpful By Brett Benner VINE VOICE on October 4, 2005
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
How do I effectively convey my feelings after reading this book? First off I am so glad it's been written. So glad that there is something that can be put into other people's hands that examines this ridiculous opposition to gay marriage with a sense of humor, heart, and a little thing called facts. (Something the Christian right likes to forget about in their pursuit of oh so compassionate discrimination.) What I love about the book is he doesn't moralize, and tell anyone what they should do, instead it's simply the journey that he and his boyfriend Terry go through. That process manages to create a myriad of viewpoints that structures much of the book's backbone, from his pressuring Mother, to his brother adopting a somewhat "gay lifestyle" in regards to co-habitating with his girlfriend, and their somewhat open relationship.
My son is two and it can be incredibly frustrating and sad listening to these Bible Thumping Red State Imbeciles spouting just plain lies in the name of Jesus to create a political victory. Luckily this book was a reminder that regardless of what careless and nasty things have been said or will continue to be said about gays and their rights to marriage and children, love is ultimately what makes a family. Love makes a commitment, and sometimes that's loud enough to drown out all the other white noise.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By grrlpup on November 19, 2005
Format: Hardcover
Dan Savage is by far at his best and funniest when he sticks to memoir, reporting on the squabbles and crises of his daily life. That's why this book is much better than the last one, "Skipping Towards Gomorrah," which tended to veer into ranting and contrivances, but not quite as good as "The Kid," which had a little more meat to its story.

Here, the back-stories of his relatives and their marriages or lack of them are moderately interesting. There are a few anti-religious-right rants that go on too long, but only a few. It's the conversations between Dan and his boyfriend and their son, in all their crankiness and irrationality, that make this book stand out. It really comes into its own in the last couple of chapters, which had me laughing out loud.

It's great to read a book by someone who cares deeply about gay rights, yet can make fun of the part of himself that wants to get married in order to make people take his "Big Gay Love" seriously. He's confident enough to be honest, and that makes his book fresh and entertaining.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful By I. Sondel VINE VOICE on September 28, 2005
Format: Hardcover
In April 2001 the book group I belong to read Savage's "The Kid (What Happened After my Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant): An Adoption Story," and we haven't shut up about it since. Thus, I was really jazzed to read this new book about the pressures being brought to bear on Savage and his longtime companion Terry to tie-the-knot. He has an uncanny ability to communicate all of the various emotions that he and Terry experience as they go through the process of deciding if marriage is right for them, as well as those of their six year-old son and Savage's surprisingly supportive Catholic mother.

Savage is, above all, a very talented, very funny writer. Known for his blistering attacks on the Radical Right, this book features a generous amount of acerbic comments and oberservations. The majority of Savage's vitriol is reserved for the absurd rationales the Right uses to bully and marginalize gays and lesbians and our relationships. He calls attention to the hypocrisy of people such as Rush Limbaugh, who has been married four times, yet has the unmitigated temerity to claim that gays are incapable of monogamous, long-term relationships.

Just as he did in "The Kid," Savage has managed to put a very human face on these very real, very gay people. He has created a book with a genuine universal appeal that manages to perfectly illustrate why same-sex couples deserve equal status under the law. A whole slew of books on this topic have been published in recnt years, and though the only one I've read is Andrew Sullivan's "Same-Sex Marriage Pro & Con: A Reader," I can't imagine that any of the others are as personal, poignant, hilarious or accessible as this book.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Search