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The Curse of the Singles Table: A True Story of 1001 Nights Without Sex Paperback – June 1, 2004

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Schlosberg (Fitness for Dummies; Weight Training for Dummies; etc.) tackles husband-hunting in this often side-splitting, occasionally poignant memoir. Humiliated by being seated at the dreaded "Singles Table" at weddings and pressured by crossing the "Great Divide" from "single" to "still single," Schlosberg embarks on a quest, not necessarily for "Mr. Right," but at least "Mr. Remote Possibility." She tries a jaunt to a Kenyan game park, a week at Club Med and a millennial New Year's Eve celebration in Jackpot, Nev. When her travels fail to do little more than help her avoid family gatherings fraught with awkward questions about wedding dates, she moves on to experimenting with feng shui and volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, chimpanzee research and wheelchair athletes. She even submits her photo to, but draws the line at psychotherapy. Succumbing to the inevitable online dating experience, Schlosberg develops an efficient but ineffectual system of screening candidates, which she then tries out at the eight-minute Starbucks Speed Date. To celebrate her 1,001 days without sex, she sets off for the Arctic Ride of Pain, a mountain-bike trip to Deadhorse, Alaska, unexpectedly finding herself stranded in the dying town of Provideniya, Russia, where, finally giving up hope, her spirits improve. It's only then, of course, that Schlosberg finally meets her future husband, bringing her story to a sentimental but satisfying conclusion. Singles in their 30s will get the most out of this book, but anyone can appreciate Schlosberg's wacky humor.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Schlosberg puts in perspective a sensitive topic--exile to the singles table at a major social event--for those women older than 30 who have experience of it. She is an expert on the subject, with 1,001 sexless nights under her belt, so to speak. She calls her dubious achievement The Streak, and this is the hilarious story of how she strove to end it. In it, Schlosberg becomes an Everywoman, and her journey will resonate with heterosexual women everywhere whose loving relatives are certain they are cursed to die old maids. From its beginning with her search for the nation's most date-friendly town to the pitfalls of Internet dating to the well-intentioned blind date to a disastrous week at Club Med and on to a happy conclusion, Schlosberg's sex travelogue is funny and real, warm and engaging. Paula Luedtke
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (June 1, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0446690546
  • ISBN-13: 978-0446690546
  • Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,666,171 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

SUZANNE SCHLOSBERG is a writer and editor known for her lighthearted take on health and parenting topics, whether it's bedwetting, infertility, or the travails of breastfeeding twins.

Suzanne has collaborated with pediatric urologist Steve Hodges, M.D., on two books: IT'S NO ACCIDENT and the illustrated children's book BEDWETTING AND ACCIDENTS AREN'T YOUR FAULT. She also blogs with Dr. Hodges at, a website offering support and solutions for childhood toileting problems.

Among Suzanne's other collaborations: THE GOOD NEIGHBOR COOKBOOK, with chef Sara Quessenberry, THE ULTIMATE DIET LOG, with nutritionist Cynthia Sass, creator of the New York Times bestseller Flat Belly Diet, and WEIGHT TRAINING FOR DUMMIES, with exercise expert Liz Neporent.

Suzanne is solely responsible for THE CURSE OF THE SINGLES TABLE: A TRUE STORY OF 1001 NIGHTS WITHOUT SEX, a chronicle of her epic dry spell, which lasted longer than the Kennedy administration. Suzanne married the redhead who ended her drought, and thanks to high-tech handiwork she recounted in "I Used an Egg Donor," Suzanne and her husband have twin boys. They live in Bend, Oregon, which Suzanne considers the best place on earth.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By DCReader007 on April 6, 2005
Format: Paperback
The most honest, insight, funny and compelling books I've ever read about life as a single women. Especially life as a single Jewish woman (though anyone from any type of ethnic background will be able to relate to the family issues!)

I felt like the author read my mind and was telling the story of my life. She reminds you that its okay to feel frustrated, depressed, crazy and dismayed at being singe. She also, and more importantly, talks about how to find your own strength, find yourself, have fun in the journey, let go of worrying about finding someone, be fine with trying to find someone, and be truthful about how you feel while trying to figure out life in your 30s.

And not only was the book insightful but it made me laugh out loud. I find it's rare to have a book make you do that. She is a gifted writer, with an ability to thread the story together in a way that will keep you engaged from start to finish. I hope she keeps writing books like this--amazing, strong, funny, smart women like so many of us are, need more books like this!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By El Sid on August 31, 2004
Format: Paperback
This book fell in my hands at the right time (after finding out three of my best friends became engaged within a week of each other). Like most of my friends, I have tried online, bars, religious groups, volunteer groups, and sometimes have just given up looking for that "Mr. Right"! This book has been passed from friend to friend. We know it's possible to be fabulous and single and it is great to laugh along with others who have the same struggles. Awesomely funny, well written, and intelligent book!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Tara Reed on September 16, 2004
Format: Paperback
This is one of the best books I've read in a long time and one I will surely read again. I'm recently divorced and found so much to relate to and laugh about--even though I'm coming at it from the opposite side of the coin. Suzanne has a very funny and friendly writing style--a must read for any girl who wants a good laugh!
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Sol on January 21, 2010
Format: Paperback
As a lifelong single, I have been voraciously reading the best books I could find on being single - and discrimination against singles, including the Assumptions that everyone must be dying of loneliness and jonesing to get married.

The best ones I've read so far are Bella DePaulo's "Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After" and E. Kay Trimberger's "The New Single Woman."

I started this book with anticipation, and stopped reading it after chapter 4. I had to force myself to slog through that chapter out of curiosity, about what she would do with the poor cop who didn't feel any desire to get married. Oh, noes!

He just plain didn't share the author's matrimania -- Bella DePaulo's word for all prejudice favoring marrieds, and, of course, craziness and mania for marriage.

The two of them were having a great time. Why not just keep having a great time? But no, she had to ask the poor guy about "Our Future". She cried in front of him -- after a confrontation she initiated and -- get this -- thought HE handled that shamefully! She said she began to see that his antimarriage shtick wasn't a shtick. Gee, ya think? I saw not the merest shred of evidence that he was anything but straightforward and honest. AND fun to be with.

The poor dude said, "Geez, man, why do you always want to know where the relationship is going? Can't you just enjoy the ride?" I've never liked someone I (otherwise or formerly) liked and enjoyed pressuring me with the clear message that simply enjoying being with them is unacceptable. It sounded like a fun ride to me. I'm on his side.

No wonder some men don't want to marry women. And I have a degree in women's studies!
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7 of 10 people found the following review helpful By E. Griffin VINE VOICE on August 15, 2004
Format: Paperback
The Curse of the Singles Table is a funny, wry memoir of Suzanne Schlosberg's streak of 1001 nights without sex. After deciding to leave a long-term relationship with a man not interested in marriage, Suzanne sets out to find if not a Mr. Right, at least a Mr. Right Now. Her search has her moving from Berkeley to small town life in Bend, Oregon, where she discovers it is possible to date every eligible, single man in town!

Between Bend and moving back home to Los Angeles, Suzanne takes several side trips, either looking for a mate or seeking to get away from herself. These include a challenging bike ride where her ex-boyfriend treats her like a genial stranger, and a hysterical New Year's Eve concert, where she if forced to justify her dateless state to strangers.

During Suzanne's streak of celibacy, her younger sister announces her engagement, creating more stress for Suzanne to find a boyfriend, or at least a date for the wedding. Suzanne's family attacks her singleness with blunt questions, and wonderment about her inability to pair up.

After moving and trips have not resolved her dilemma, Suzanne tries "power dating," using to set up coffee interviews and Jewish speed dating at the local Starbucks. When a vacation leaves Suzanne stranded in a remote location, with no chance of dating or romantic involvement at all, Suzanne realizes that perhaps happiness does not require being part of a matched set, and celibacy is another name for saving your affection for someone you care for.

The Curse of the Singles Table is alternately funny, ironic, and touching-and it is always honest. Schlosberg is a freelance writer by profession, and the quality of the writing and pacing in this book demonstrates her talent and ability to craft an engaging read.
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