In the tradition of The Feminine Mystique and Backlash, a groundbreaking look at a social cyclone heading straight for Boomer women When aging parents need help, they turn to a daughter. This book answers the question "now what?" and helps women successfully juggle caregiving, careers, kids, siblings and marriage on their own terms. It's all about new options, clear priorities and no guilt.
Twenty-five percent of Baby Boomers now have a senior parent living with them, and almost a third of American workers care for their parents. But what no one has pointed out, until now, is that Boomer eldercare responsibilities usually fall on the daughters, who are also often caught between the competing demands of a working spouse, school-aged kids and a full-time career.
The Daughter Trap is the first book on the market to simply say it like it is: women get stuck in the caretaker role--whether they like it or not; and whether they're prepared for it or not. The author shows how this happens over and over again and explores why women let it happen. Drawing on years of original research, as well as interviews with business leaders and the personal stories of individual women, The Daughter Trap not only identifies the problem but also provides concrete and actionable solutions with takeaway lessons readers can apply to their own lives.
Twenty-five percent of Baby Boomers now have a senior parent living with them, and almost a third of American workers care for their parents. But what no one has pointed out, until now, is that Boomer eldercare responsibilities usually fall on the daughters, who are also often caught between the competing demands of a working spouse, school-aged kids and a full-time career.
The Daughter Trap is the first book on the market to simply say it like it is: women get stuck in the caretaker role--whether they like it or not; and whether they're prepared for it or not. The author shows how this happens over and over again and explores why women let it happen. Drawing on years of original research, as well as interviews with business leaders and the personal stories of individual women, The Daughter Trap not only identifies the problem but also provides concrete and actionable solutions with takeaway lessons readers can apply to their own lives.
Frequently Bought Together
Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Is caring for elderly parents the responsibility of families, government, nonprofit groups, religious organizations, business, the community—or all of the above? Kennedy, founder of the Boomer consulting firm Age Lessons, says all of the above in this scattershot polemic, not quite a call to arms and not quite a practical guide for adults facing the problems of helping older parents near the end of life. The author's argument that daughters, or daughters-in-law, are the primary caregivers for elderly parents, is contradicted by a Met Life survey she cites showing that 40% of caregivers are men; as well, she devotes a chapter to sons who provide care. Kennedy asserts that the women who fought for child-care services 30 years ago should now form a movement for elder care, yet that child care movement was far less successful than she claims. Most of the book argues points that are already obvious to caregivers, yet the part of her case that is aimed more at policymakers is too thin to be persuasive. Her practical suggestions are scattered and often dependent on persuading businesses to support caregiving employees. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
Silver Anvil and National Telly Award winner Kennedy presents a razor-sharp tome on the impending national crisis in elder care. If you think her argument that "elder care is perceived to be a daughter’s obligation" is just an assumption, consider the statistic that "women lose an average of 11.5 working years because of caregiving responsibilities; men just 1.3 years." There is no doubt that her cries for a revolution are justified and that the timeframe is urgent (the over-65 population is growing nearly four times faster than the under-65 group). Covering everything from statistics regarding the state of care now to the gender gap in caregiving, this book is intended to scare most of us with aging parents into action. Recommended for absolutely anyone with a mom or a dad. --Library Journal
Laurel Kennedy does for caregiving what Betty Friedan did for marriage and motherhood. The Daughter Trap says something new and important about aging, family and caregiving in America today.
--Jeffrey P. Rosenfeld, Ph.D., Director, Hofstra University Gerontology Program
“Laurel Kennedy has the guts to tell us the straight story – that women are tasked with the often-overwhelming responsibility of elder care. The Daughter Trap shows why and how this has happened, and the economic and emotional toll this takes on our society.” -- Joan Toth, Executive Director, Network of Executive Women
“This is a wise and important book. As a daughter who was once caught in the caregiver ‘trap’, I urge daughters and other family members to read Laurel Kennedy’s new book. --Connie Goldman, Author, The Gifts of Caregiving—Stories of Hardship, Hope and Healing
“The health care dialogue in America has shortchanged the single biggest challenge on the horizon—elder care. The Daughter Trap takes on the medical establishment. --Robert N. Butler, M.D., Founding Director of the National Institute on Aging and the Department of Geriatrics at Mt. Sinai School of Medicine
“America is waking up to the fact that being a family gets complicated when old age enters the picture. Laurel Kennedy’s book offers clear-eyed answers to what can seem like unsolvable problems. --Dr. William Thomas, Professor of Aging Studies, the University of Maryland, Baltimore
“Helpful and hopeful. The Daughter Trap offers new ideas and covers the complexity and compassion of caregiving.”--Donna Butts, Executive Director, Generations United
“Urging caregivers of adults to stop suffering in silence, Laurel Kennedy calls for consciousness-raising, a movement, a spokesperson to carry the flag. We need men in on the act too. --Dr. Jacquelyn James, Research Director, Sloan Center on Aging and Work, Boston College
“Exceptionally well-researched and extraordinarily well-written, Laurel Kennedy’s The Daughter Trap opens and defines the discussion on one of the most important issues of the decade.” --Marti Barletta, Author, Prime Time Women: How to Win the Hearts, Minds and Business of Boomer Big Spenders
“The Daughter Trap will prove invaluable.” --Craig Ragland, Executive Director, Cohousing Association of the United States
Product Details
Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
|
More About the Author
LAUREL KENNEDY has experienced the "daughter trap" first hand, caring for a mother with dementia and a 90+ year-old father. Her caregiving journey spans almost two decades and runs the gamut from fierce advocate with the medical community to personal chef, chauffeur and concierge for her parents. The Daughter Trap shares the collective wisdom of 200+ caregiving daughters: what they wish they knew going into it; what they learned by doing it; the price they paid because of it; and what's on the horizon to help the next wave of caregivers.
As founder of the thinking firm called Age Lessons, Kennedy has become an acknowledged authority on multi-generational issues and an advocate for mature consumers. Kennedy is a popular interview and presenter, appearing on national television and radio programs, as an expert witness in the Superior Courts, and as a keynote speaker before numerous industry and corporate forums. She holds an MBA with honors from the world renown University of Chicago Booth School of Business and currently resides in Chicago.
As founder of the thinking firm called Age Lessons, Kennedy has become an acknowledged authority on multi-generational issues and an advocate for mature consumers. Kennedy is a popular interview and presenter, appearing on national television and radio programs, as an expert witness in the Superior Courts, and as a keynote speaker before numerous industry and corporate forums. She holds an MBA with honors from the world renown University of Chicago Booth School of Business and currently resides in Chicago.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
If you are a woman over the age of 40, you need to read this book! No matter how informed and proactive we believe ourselves to be, there is one certainty. None of us are prepared for the nitty-gritty realities of our parents aging.
The Daughter Trap explores the impact of eldercare falling on the daughter. I like the way the book is broken into 2 sections, "The Problem" and "The Solution", offering examples and scenarios, but also resources, insight and a call to action.
Author Laurel Kennedy includes over 200 first-hand accounts by caregivers as she walks us through a myriad of eldercare issues, probing deep, always asking why? Why is there a cultural expectation of the daughter as sole caregiver? Why do"employers ignore it, parents expect it, and women accept it?" Kennedy acknowledges caregiving can be a wonderful loving opportunity. But, due to the realities of aging and eldercare, she urges us to expand our thinking about our role and options for our parents (and ourselves). You will walk away with ideas for balancing caregiving with family, work responsibilities and personal needs.
Some of the chapters that make this book unique in content are the chapters on dealing with sibling rivalry, caring for in-laws, the male caregiver, and dealing with physicians and hospitals. In each chapter, Kennedy carefully presents the issues, available resources and "lessons learned". The chapter on physicians and hospital should be a wake-up call for each of us and our medical community. Learn about the "medical home" and why it is so critical for your parent's well-being.
I found the last section of the book, "The Solution", to be a real gem. Find out about new housing alternatives for the elderly, model eldercare programs offered by a few innovative employers, and the potential benefits of new technology to aid in eldercare. If you are an employer or can give input to your employer, I urge you to carefully read the chapter, "It Takes a Company." I immediately thought back 5 years when I helped an employee through a very difficult situation in caring for her mother. Corporate support would have made a world of difference for her and me!
In summary, I highly recommend Kennedy's book to help you be informed, inspired, and provoked to action! It's a book you'll want to read and re-read, share with family and friends, and keep handy as a resource.
Dale Carter, [...]
The Daughter Trap explores the impact of eldercare falling on the daughter. I like the way the book is broken into 2 sections, "The Problem" and "The Solution", offering examples and scenarios, but also resources, insight and a call to action.
Author Laurel Kennedy includes over 200 first-hand accounts by caregivers as she walks us through a myriad of eldercare issues, probing deep, always asking why? Why is there a cultural expectation of the daughter as sole caregiver? Why do"employers ignore it, parents expect it, and women accept it?" Kennedy acknowledges caregiving can be a wonderful loving opportunity. But, due to the realities of aging and eldercare, she urges us to expand our thinking about our role and options for our parents (and ourselves). You will walk away with ideas for balancing caregiving with family, work responsibilities and personal needs.
Some of the chapters that make this book unique in content are the chapters on dealing with sibling rivalry, caring for in-laws, the male caregiver, and dealing with physicians and hospitals. In each chapter, Kennedy carefully presents the issues, available resources and "lessons learned". The chapter on physicians and hospital should be a wake-up call for each of us and our medical community. Learn about the "medical home" and why it is so critical for your parent's well-being.
I found the last section of the book, "The Solution", to be a real gem. Find out about new housing alternatives for the elderly, model eldercare programs offered by a few innovative employers, and the potential benefits of new technology to aid in eldercare. If you are an employer or can give input to your employer, I urge you to carefully read the chapter, "It Takes a Company." I immediately thought back 5 years when I helped an employee through a very difficult situation in caring for her mother. Corporate support would have made a world of difference for her and me!
In summary, I highly recommend Kennedy's book to help you be informed, inspired, and provoked to action! It's a book you'll want to read and re-read, share with family and friends, and keep handy as a resource.
Dale Carter, [...]
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Kennedy hits home!! The Daughter trap is well written, an easy read and gets to the heart of caregiving challenges. As a current caregiver I can certainly relate to the family, physical and psychological issues she outlines. There is no pre-training, caregiving is one day upon us. The "caregiver bill of rights" and resources provided in this book provide direction and compassion for what caregivers go through. This is a "MUST READ" for anyone who is or soon to be engaged in caregiving for a parent, spouse or friend.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I've heard that having a daughter is the best predictor of an elder not ending up in a nursing home. However, I haven't read much beyond the staggering statistics or about why this is so. Finally, here is a book that addresses this social malady head on. Laurel Kennedy not only lays out the facts and personal interviews of women who are already working several jobs(work, household and child care); she explores the family dynamics that keep this unfair practice entrenched. Thank you for a powerful and timely book! [...]
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Misleading expectations
The Daughter Trap: Taking Care of Mom and Dad And You - L.Kennedy
According to the publisher's blurb this book will help women "successfully juggle caregiving, careers,... Read more
According to the publisher's blurb this book will help women "successfully juggle caregiving, careers,... Read more
Published 21 months ago by JGrace
If You Are An Eldercaregiving Daughter, You Need This Book!
So many readers of the AgeWiseLiving newsletter tell me that they share my newsletter with their kids so their kids will know how to take care of them. Read more
Published on May 16, 2010 by Barbara E. Friesner
The Daughter Trap
This book is an essential book for those faced with the prospect of caring for aging parents;especially daughters, to whom this responsibility usually falls. Read more
Published on May 16, 2010 by Pamela F. Stevens
The Daughter Trap--A Must-Read!
THE DAUGHTER TRAP by Laurel Kennedy is a must-read for anyone who is either now, or may be in the future, a caregiver for the elderly in their lives. Read more
Published on May 12, 2010 by Dr. Marion
The Daughter Trap
This book was recently given to me by a friend to read. I also recently gave birth to my first child, a daughter. Read more
Published on May 9, 2010 by Meredith
A MUST READ
Laurels Kennedy's The Daughter Trap is a passionate plea for attention to the problems of caregivers. Read more
Published on May 8, 2010 by Lee
Serious Support for Caregivers of Elderly Parents
This thoughtful, well-written book offers serious support for caregivers of elderly parents. The author sorts through the many issues that face those of us who care for or will... Read more
Published on April 27, 2010 by KRJC
Laurel Kennedy has our collective back
Whether you just want to be prepared for a potential caregiver role or are months or years into caring for one or both parents, this book can help you. Read more
Published on April 21, 2010 by Mary Lynn Coyle
Inside This Book
(learn more)
What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?
Tags Customers Associate with This Product(What's this?)Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
|
Sell a Digital Version of This Book in the Kindle Store
If you are a publisher or author and hold the digital rights to a book, you can sell a digital version of it in our Kindle Store.
Learn more
Customer Discussions
|
This product's forum
Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
|
Related forums
|
Listmania!
|
|
So You'd Like to...
|
|
