This is easily one of the worst remakes ever. It's an insulting updating of the splendid 1951 film
The Day the Earth Stood Still, which, though low tech, has a storyline that still sings to the human heart.
Michael Rennie's Klaatu was erudite, gentlemanly, and pacifistic. Keanu Reeves (who would seem to have been a perfect match for the role) starts out very strong, but degenerates into an muttering intergalactic bully.
Rennie's Klaatu brings a message of world peace and human amity. Reeves' Klaatu seems set on pointlessly exterminating the human race in order to protect the planet's biosphere.
Rennie's Klaatu sees the best side of human nature even after being shot and killed. Reeves' Klaatu despises the human race for it's destructive qualities, deciding that we aren't worth a fig. He then unleashes a reign of planetary destruction. Does anyone besides me see the irony here?
Both Rennie's and Reeves' Klaatus come to Earth and ask (Rennie) or demand (Reeves) to see humanity's leadership. Reeves admittedly gets the worse of it. He gets stuck with a particularly cranky Kathy Bates as the U.S. Secretary of Defense, a mindless bureaucrat who can't figure out whether to kill Klaatu outright or have him dissected.
This character is not worthy of Kathy Bates, an otherwise fine actress. To be honest, none of the roles add anything to Keanu Reeves', Jennifer Connelly's, or anybody else's careers. Was the money that good that these people endorsed this wreck of a movie regardless of the script? I can't imagine any other reason for signing on to appear in this. Can somebody refund me the two hours of my life I spent watching this hoping it would get better?
I'm frankly surprised Keanu Reeves, a practicing Buddhist, took this role, which, unlike Rennie's, has nothing to recommend it. Yeah, this version is flashier, but who cares?
Jennifer Connelly wastes the Patricia Neal role by intoning, "But we can change" every time Klaatu decides that the entire human race is expendable. She never argues with him or makes a case for saving the seven billion human souls on this planet. She just whines.
Connelly is saddled with her politically correct Hollywood standard-issue African-American stepson, a dreadlock wearing little waste of protoplasm played by Jaden Smith, who does nothing but b*tch and moan, kick Connelly in the shins, call the cops on Klaatu, yell, "if my (dead) Dad was here he'd kill you!" and make the viewer miserable. Frankly, Klaatu could do a lot to improve humanity by just killing the kid. Smith would be the perfect prom date for Dakota Fanning in
War of the Worlds, another worthless remake.
The irony is Klaatu doesn't kill the kid, he saves him. Letting the little whatnot live is probably a worse punishment for humanity after all, and that seems to be Klaatu's main mission in this ragged movie, punishing humanity.
Forget about the momentary plot bump of addressing the United Nations. Forget about asking Earth to join with other planets in a peace league. Forget the fail-safe order "Klaatu barada nicto." Forget anything positive.
Just unleash a bunch of special effects mass destruction all over the place, turn Gort into a homicidal maniac on the scale of Genghis Khan, and make Klaatu a hateful, selfish, gleeful executioner.
In other words, bore the viewer to death with negativity, negativity, negativity.
Comparing the 2008 version with the 1951 version is truly frightening. We seemed so much more optimistic with the threat of atomic war hanging over us in the Post-WWII Cold War Era than we do now. That speaks volumes. Hollywood's got to get over this apocalyptic trash. Films reflect their era. This movie mopes about our capacity to change. Okay, then, let's see change on celluloid. Let's see a director with the intelligence to buck the tide of misery. Let's see a remake of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL worthy of being watched. And may this film disappear into the nether world where it belongs.
I rarely use colorful language in reviews, but be warned: This movie sucks.
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