There were enough comma errors for me to notice, which always bugs me. For example, when one character speaks to another and says his or her name, a comma is requisite.
Stylistically, the use of caps lock and excess exclamation points is a cop out in conveying anger/excitement, in my mind at least.
As for the story itself, it moved so quickly in the most interesting parts, and so slowly in the parts where Andie's in her own head. The pacing just got to me; it didn't make for a smooth story.
And I truly detest the font on the cover. Why would anyone use Harrington for a book about death? And while I acknowledge that this is not related to the content of the story itself, this is a product review, and the cover is a part of the product. I thought the font highlighted the home-made nature of the story and made it seem less professional.
Ultimately, I ended up skimming most of it once I trudged through the first few paragraphs.