The Difficult Child: Expanded and Revised Edition [Paperback]

Stanley Turecki (Author), Leslie Tonner (Author)

Book Description

Release date: March 14, 2000

How to help--and cope with--the difficult child

Expanded and completely revised, the classic and definitive work on parenting hard-to-raise children with new sections on ADHD and the latest medications for childhood disorders.

Temperamentally difficult children can confuse and upset even experienced parents and teachers. They often act defiant, stubborn, loud, aggressive, or hyperactive. They can also be clingy, shy, whiny, picky, and impossible at bedtime, mealtimes, and in public places. This landmark book has been completely revised to include the latest information on ADHD, medications, and a reassuring approach  to all aspects of childhood behavioral disorders.

In this parenting classic, Dr. Stanley Turecki, one of the nation's most respected experts on children and discipline--and himself the father of a once difficult child--offers compassionate and practical advice to parents of hard-to-raise children. Based on his experience with thousands of families in the highly successful Difficult Children Program he developed for Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City, his step-by-step approach shows you how to:

Identify your child's temperament using a ten-point test to pinpoint specific difficulties
Manage common--often "uncontrollable"--conflict situations expertly and gently
Make discipline more effective and get better results with less punishment
Get support from schools, doctors, professionals, and support groups
Understand ADHD and other common diagnoses, and decide if medication is right for your child
Make the most of the tremendous potential and creativity that many "difficult" children have




Drawing on his experience with thousands of families in his highly successful Difficult Child Program, Dr. Turecki shows parents how to:

Identify their child's difficult temperament using a ten-point test to pinpoint specific difficulties

Manage typical conflict situations expertly and kindly

Make discipline more effective and get better results with less punishment

Get support from schools, doctors, and others

Understand ADHD and other common diagnoses, and decide whether medication is right for their child

Make the most of the child's creativity and potential -->

Editorial Reviews

Review

PRAISE FROM PARENTS:

"Dr. Turecki's understanding and knowledge of children with difficult temperaments is astounding."

"The Difficult Child Program taught me to be a better parent to my difficult child and also made me a better parent for my 'easy' child."

"Dr. Turecki's program has taught me the real meaning of motherhood."

PRAISE FROM PROFESSIONALS:

"This book is great! The approach to discipline is one of the best I have seen. It is a real contribution to parents."
--T. Berry Brazelton, M.D.

"A clear and lucid prescription of how to deal with a difficult child. The compassionate understanding of the author is evident throughout."
--Irving Phillips, M.D., Past President, American Academy of Child Psychiatry

"A cornucopia of good ideas for assessing and intervening in these often disastrous relationship patterns."
--Donald A. Block, M.D., Past President, The American Family Therapy Academy

"A unique and extremely valuable book. I can recommend it enthusiastically."
--William B. Carey, M.D., Director of Behavioral Pediatrics, Children's Hospital of Philadelphia; author of Understanding Your Child's Temperament

"This volume will sit on my shelf between Spock and Gesell."
--Richard L. Saphir, M.D., Clinical Professor of Pediatrics, The Mount Sinai School of Medicine

"Virtually every teacher has taught a child who is 'difficult' to handle. This book is invaluable in helping teachers and parents understand the roots of this behavior and thus, helping them cope more effectively."
--Ellen Galinsky, co-author of The Preschool Years, President, The National Association for the Education of Young Children

From the Inside Flap

How to help--and cope with--the difficult child

Expanded and completely revised, the classic and definitive work on parenting hard-to-raise children with new sections on ADHD and the latest medications for childhood disorders.

Temperamentally difficult children can confuse and upset even experienced parents and teachers. They often act defiant, stubborn, loud, aggressive, or hyperactive. They can also be clingy, shy, whiny, picky, and impossible at bedtime, mealtimes, and in public places. This landmark book has been completely revised to include the latest information on ADHD, medications, and a reassuring approach  to all aspects of childhood behavioral disorders.

In this parenting classic, Dr. Stanley Turecki, one of the nation's most respected experts on children and discipline--and himself the father of a once difficult child--offers compassionate and practical advice to parents of hard-to-raise children. Based on his experience with thousands of families in the highly successful Difficult Children Program he developed for Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City, his step-by-step approach shows you how to:

Identify your child's temperament using a ten-point test to pinpoint specific difficulties
Manage common--often "uncontrollable"--conflict situations expertly and gently
Make discipline more effective and get better results with less punishment
Get support from schools, doctors, professionals, and support groups
Understand ADHD and other common diagnoses, and decide if medication is right for your child
Make the most of the tremendous potential and creativity that many "difficult" children have




Drawing on his experience with thousands of families in his highly successful Difficult Child Program, Dr. Turecki shows parents how to:

Identify their child's difficult temperament using a ten-point test to pinpoint specific difficulties

Manage typical conflict situations expertly and kindly

Make discipline more effective and get better results with less punishment

Get support from schools, doctors, and others

Understand ADHD and other common diagnoses, and decide whether medication is right for their child

Make the most of the child's creativity and potential -->

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 302 pages
• Publisher: Bantam; 2 Revised edition (March 14, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553380362
• ISBN-13: 978-0553380361
• Product Dimensions: 5.9 x 0.9 x 9.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #24,046 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #19 in Books > Crafts, Hobbies & Home > Home Improvement & Design > How-to & Home Improvements > Home Repair
  • #44 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Special Needs > Disabilities

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 28 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Temperamental Difficulties April 6, 2006

By Bill Jordin

Format:Paperback

The Difficult Child (2002) is a self-help book for the parents of children with difficult temperaments. While all children have characteristic behavioral quirks, temperaments are so deep-seated that they manifest in infancy and are usually retained for a lifetime. Since temperaments can be inherited, they are probably linked to specific genes. In fact, one behavioral trait -- high activity level -- in mice seems to be associated with a specific gene (along with other characteristics), but such traits have not yet been genetically identified in humans.

This book concentrates on nine particularly difficult temperaments: high activity level, distractibility, high intensity, irregularity, negative persistence, low sensory threshold, initial withdrawal, poor adaptability, and negative mood. A child who exhibits some or all of these temperamental characteristics is usually not the child that the parents expected and therefore can be difficult to handle properly.

High activity level is obviously wearisome for the parents, babysitters and other caretakers. Distractibility is often irritating since the child can't stay with one thing very long. High intensity refers to habitual loudness, which causes its own problems. Irregularity refers to confused circadian rhythms, which means the child is often not ready to eat or sleep at any fixed time. Negative persistence refers to lengthy whines and tantrums, drawing out every disagreement to the point of absurdity. Low sensory threshold refers to physical sensitivity to clothing, noises, colors, tastes and other sensory stimuli, leading to definite likes and dislikes. Initial withdrawal refers to timid reactions at first to new things. Poor adaptability refers to difficultly changing activities, clothing, or even locations. Negative mood refers to grumpiness, showing little or no cheerfulness.

These temperamental types are particularly difficult for parents to understand or manage. At first the parents believe something is wrong with the child, particularly when the child cries at odd times, stays up late, and so forth. When their pediatrician states that nothing is wrong with the child, except maybe a little colic, the parents are mystified when this behavior continues for months and years.

First, these temperaments are normal, although not extremely common. They do not indicate any defect or disease in the baby, just different ways of responding to the world. Once these differences are identified, they can be managed. Moreover, the child can be trained to control these traits to some extent by learning good habits. However, these temperaments are part of the child and so the child would be more comfortable in surroundings where these temperaments are known, expected, and allowed a certain amount of free rein.

Of course, there are various ailments that can produce similar behavior patterns. Some of the more common are touched on within this book. However, the authors assume that you will have already had your child examined by a qualified pediatrician, will continue to take your child for regularly scheduled checkups, and will bring any subsequent problems to his attention. If you always keep him informed, you can let the doctor worry about such things.

Read this book. Even if none of this sounds like your child, read the first chapter of the book; you will learn a lot about your own child, despite their lack of difficult temperament. However, if any of these temperaments fits your child, read the whole book and have your spouse do so also. If nothing else, this book will give you some of the right questions to ask your pediatrician the next time you corner him in his office.

Once you have read this book, you will want to find out more about temperament and human differences. This book is only the first step in the rest of your career as parents. And as grandparents.

-Bill Jordin

55 of 60 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars I'm not a bad parent...he's a difficult child. August 21, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

The biggest thing this book did for me was to make me realize that I wasn't going crazy. I went into counseling thinking I couldn't cope as a wife/mother. I was blaming it all on my husband. Meanwhile my 3 yr old son was constantly hitting, kicking and throwing and not responding to any form of discipline. The pediatrician's office recommended this book. I saw my child in the pages...sensory sensitivity, moodiness, etc. And I saw myself...an overwhelmed, depressed Mom. This book gave me HOPE. We are finding out that there are "un-obvious" developmental reasons behind my son's behavior so the book is not totally applicable. However, the HOPE that this book gave me, made it a very worthwhile investment.

32 of 33 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Living with a Difficult Child August 18, 2004

By S. Sylvester

Format:Paperback

I can not even begin to express how much this book has helped our family. My son was difficult from the momement he came out of the womb. We had read numerous articles, lost tons of sleep, and felt that no one really understood our son or our issues.

This book pretty much nailed the types of behavior we were facing. Wild tantrums, obstence, etc. We read the book and started applying the techniques. Being frist time parents we were a little inconsistent with our applicatoin of the system and were having some mixed results and starting to doubt our ability to be successful parents. However, my wife and I were convienced that this was the only book that we had found that really dealt with the behavior issues we were facing.

After some discussion, we eventually called Turecki directly, spent an hour with him on the phone. Discussed our son, and Turecki's program. The results were amazing!!! Within a week we felt like were back on top of things and in control of our lives.

Our son is still a challenge but we've learned the diffence between temperment and tantrums. How to recognize them and how to effectively deal with them. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is having trouble understanding why their child is acting up and needs insight into potential methods of dealing with them.