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The Disquiet Kindle Edition

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Length: 68 pages

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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Jrzin on March 20, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
My suspension of disbelief was not only hung by the neck until dead but I feel like a ton of bricks was chained to its feet too. When a small group of people are running for their lives and find a hole in the floor leading to the end of a tunnel, a lit tunnel by the way - that is specified, I just cannot believe that they will all be surprised by the 90 degree turn 20 feet later. Not surprised that the tunnel makes 90 degree turns but specifically - spelled out while they were turning it - suprised by the turn because that they hadn't noticed it before getting to it. If that were the only such jolt, it would be one thing but it is very typical in this book.

There is very little character development. The regular use of obsenity (ok, just one common word) doesn't help the story. I didn't notice any typos or formatting problems when I read it on my kindle.

The basic idea is pretty good.
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By Lisa on July 8, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This story was a lot like Mr. Burnsides other book "Broken Fawn". The ending was different but it still felt the same. I'm still not sure whether this is a good thing or not. There were a few misspelled words, but nothing that a little minor editing wouldn't fix. I'll have to read a few more stories from this author to see if he can change it up any. I did love some of the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. I would recommend this story and author.
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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Christine Staeven on April 29, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This manuscript is based in an interesting and novel idea. The premise is really good. Mindsweep plot device works as a fresh approach - lending to a pretty interesting and unpredictible ending.

There are huge suspension of belief issues. I will never get to a parallel bizarre world wherein the people imprisioned (after breaking free of cells) yell and shout about willy -nilly without a seeming care as to where their captors may be lurking about. There is no concern about noise level and being found out. I also find it hard to get to where a person shoots off two PRECIOUS bullets "for good meaure" once already safe from the "growl." The main character actually is blase' when he wakes in a cell and tells himself he is not really concerned (paraphrasing here) . Who would not panic just a bit - even with some chemical altering? There are other such belief issues to overcome.

There are spelling, grammar and punctuation errors galore. OF is used for OFF almost 100% of the time, STARRED is used for STARED in all cases, ED is used when LY is the proper conveyance, seen is NOT synonymous for saw - just to cite a few grammar things. Dialogue is punctuated incorrecly frequently (using a comma or period when question mark is required) . Quotations are misplaced inside commas for other than dialogue bits. There are several instances where the sentence just did not make sense as written due to wrong words and tense switches occurring within it.

This is where I would normally discourse on lack of character development. However, the author gets a pass on that due to the fact that it is impossible to lend too much depth to those without memory due to brainwashing.
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