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The Distance Between Us: A Memoir [Hardcover]

Reyna Grande
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)

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Book Description

August 28, 2012
Mago pointed to a spot on the dirt floor and reminded me that my umbilical cord was buried there. “That way,” Mami told the midwife, “no matter where life takes her, she won’t ever forget where she came from.”

Then Mago touched my belly button . . . She said that my umbilical cord was like a ribbon that connected me to Mami. She said, “It doesn’t matter that there’s a distance btween us now. That cord is there forever.”

When Reyna Grande’s father leaves his wife and three children behind in a village in Mexico to make the dangerous trek across the border to the United States, he promises he will soon return from “El Otro Lado” (The Other Side) with enough money to build them a dream house where they can all live together. His promises become harder to believe as months turn into years. When he summons his wife to join him, Reyna and her siblings are deposited in the already overburdened household of their stern, unsmiling grandmother.

The three siblings are forced to look out for themselves; in childish games they find a way to forget the pain of abandonment and learn to solve very adult problems. When their mother at last returns, the reunion sets the stage for a dramatic new chapter in Reyna’s young life: her own journey to “El Otro Lado” to live with the man who has haunted her imagination for years, her long-absent father.

In this extraordinary memoir, award-winning writer Reyna Grande vividly brings to life her tumultuous early years, capturing all the confusion and contradictions of childhood, especially one spent torn between two parents and two countries. Elated when she feels the glow of her father’s love and approval, Reyna knows that at any moment he might turn angry or violent. Only in books and music and her rich imaginary life does she find solace, a momentary refuge from a world in which every place feels like “El Otro Lado.”

The Distance Between Us captures one girl’s passage from childhood to adolescence and beyond. A funny, heartbreaking, lyrical story, it reminds us that the joys and sorrows of childhood are always with us, invisible to the eye but imprinted on the heart, forever calling out to us of those places we first called home.


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The Distance Between Us: A Memoir + Across a Hundred Mountains: A Novel + Dancing with Butterflies: A Novel
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“In this poignant memoir about her childhood in Mexico, Reyna Grande skillfully depicts another side of the immigrant experience—the hardships and heartbreaks of the children who are left behind. Through her brutally honest firsthand account of growing up in Mexico without her parents, Grande sheds light on the often overlooked consequence of immigration—the disintegration of a family.”

—Sonia Nazario, Pulitzer Prize winner, and author of Enrique's Journey

"Captivates and inspires . . . . Tracing the complex and tattered relationships binding the family together. --Publishers Weekly (Starred Review).

"Reyna Grande's extraordinary journey towards the American dream will be an inspiration to anyone who has ever dreamed of a better life.”

—Ligiah Villalobos, Writer and Executive Producer of La Misma Luna (Under the Same Moon)

“Reyna Grande is a fierce, smart, shimmering light of a writer with an important story to tell.” (Cheryl Strayed Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail )

About the Author

Reyna Grande is the author of two award-winning novels. Across a Hundred Mountains received an American Book Award, and Dancing with Butterflies was the recipient of an International Latino Book Award. Reyna lives in Los Angeles.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Atria Books (August 28, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1451661770
  • ISBN-13: 978-1451661774
  • Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6.5 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #46,716 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Reyna Grande is the author of the critically acclaimed novel Across A Hundred Mountains (Atria 2006), for which she received an American Book Award (2007),the El Premio Aztlan Literary Award (2006), and a Latino Books Into Movies Award (2010). Grande's second novel, Dancing with Butterflies, was published in October 2009 to critical acclaim. It was the recipient of a 2010 International Latino Book Award and was selected by Las Comadres Para Las Americas National Book Club. Born in Mexico in 1975, Grande was raised by her grandparents after her parents left her behind while they worked in the U.S. She came to the U.S. at the age of nine as an undocumented immigrant and went on to become the first person in her family to obtain a higher education. She has a Bachelor of Arts degree in Creative Writing and Film and Video from the University of California, Santa Cruz, and an M.F.A. in Creative Writing from Antioch University. She is a sought-after speaker at middle/high schools, colleges and universities across the nation, and teaches creative writing workshops in Los Angeles. Her third book, a memoir titled The Distance Between Us, in which she depicts her experiences as an undocumented immigrant in the U.S. and her coming-of-age, will be published by Simon & Schuster August 28, 2012.

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
(39)
4.8 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Distance Between Us September 12, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I am a Mexican American. Up until I read this book, I thought that my journey through life was excruciating. After reading this book I now know that I am not alone in my negative feelings about childhood experiances.The book provided me with a narrative on what young people expect from parents and the inability of delivering on those expectations. In this case The American Dream took the adults away and kept the parents from nurturing the children left behind.We seldom think of those left behind and what they must go through, especially when they are children. The scars inflicted on them at such a young age will forever brand them.
This book was written with a deliberate outlook for the issues that are seldom talked about. The passion that Reyna Grande used to stroke this book with, made me not want to put it down. My hope is that people from countries other than Mexico will read it as well.I'm quite sure that she isn't alone in what she experianced.
The book was anything but boring. It was insightful and powerful.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Through the Eyes of a Child... September 11, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
"The Distance Between Us" may be the most important book you read this year. No matter what your politics are, the immigration debate is definitely one of the most, if not the absolute most, contentious issues of this tumultuous election season. It becomes easy after awhile to let the images of fences, government legislation, and faceless bigotry cloud our perspectives. Reyna Grande has provided us with a very personal narrative, one that puts a special "face" on the issue.

The face belongs to little Reyna...a four year old resident of Iguala,Mexico, who is delegated to the care of her paternal grandparents when her parents make the decision to flee (illegaly) to "El Otro Lados" (The United States) to earn enough money to eventually return to Mexico and their children to build their "dream house." Reyna is the youngest of three, her older brother and sister provide much needed solace to Reyna during the ordeal, which lasts way, way too long.

We follow the Grande children through their breathtaking struggle to cope with surviving the life of "little orphans" in Mexico and all the way through the difficult path that comes with the remainder of their childhood. All of it expressed through the musings of Reyna, or "Nena" as she is lovingly referred to by her "little mother", her sister, Mago. As memories perceived through the eyes of a child, become the reader's guide, the book takes us on an intimate tour of the Mexican immigrant's experience both left behind in Mexico and across the perilous border into El Otro Lados.

This book is not as heavy on poetry, beautiful prose, and magical realism as many previous Latina/Chicana pieces of literature that I have read. Sandra Cisneros and Laura Esquivel charmingly took us on whimsical journeys through the lives of immigrants...Reyna takes us on an unflinchingly, painful ride through her days of always striving to come to terms with what she saw as the distance between herself and one beloved family member or another as they worked so hard to assimilate and make their dreams of getting ahead in life come true. Her words are not elaborate, her narrative, matter of fact...but trust me, you will feel what the experience of being an immigrant struggling to make the transition to becoming American, really is. In the pervasive culture of these times that can be so cruel and judgemental, Reyna's story should perhaps be mandatory reading for everyone...
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Reyna's writing made me fall back in love with books November 13, 2012
Format:Hardcover
What is there to say about a writer who pours her heart and soul into her writing. She dares to open her private past to the world and at the same time makes a definitive point about our broken immigration system. Read it for the memoir then think how this story is repeated year after year with children of immigrant families.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book
This was a wonderful book about a women's life. She tells about the hardships of living in Mexico and crossing the border to the USA. Read more
Published 7 days ago by Ashton
5.0 out of 5 stars A broken family struggling thru the nazi disaster of the forties
A different look at the anguish of family in Europe in the Second World War. Excellent storytelling and a gripping plot
Published 13 days ago by Fran Spitzer
5.0 out of 5 stars A Child's tale
Reyna Grande's tale of coming to Mexico is different from what I have heard before. She shows a distance to her parents that isn't often told by Mexican Immigrants. Read more
Published 15 days ago by S. Maldonado
3.0 out of 5 stars Personal story but no context
This is a very personal story of what it was like for children to be abandoned by their parents, as their parent's journeyed from Mexico to the US seeking a better life for their... Read more
Published 22 days ago by Nancy L. Mary
4.0 out of 5 stars Buy The Hardcover or Paperback Version
I bought this in the kindle version. The photographs were fairly well reproduced. However, it is cumbersome to flip back to prior photos when one wishes to do so while reading... Read more
Published 24 days ago by voracious reader
5.0 out of 5 stars the distance between us
Loved it ! An emotional, heartbreak read. You knew this was happening u new it was real but wé have choosen to ignore. So vividly told!
Published 26 days ago by lady gaga
5.0 out of 5 stars The Distance Between Us, by Reyna Grande
Wonderful book, so well written. Beautifullll Ms Grande, after reading this book, I thank God that my Grand Parents, left Mexico and came to the United States.. Read more
Published 26 days ago by Lucy
5.0 out of 5 stars Grande is an artist!
I truly enjoyed reading The Distance Between Us by Reyna Grande. When it came to painting a picture of one's life, I believe Grande used a pallet of many colors that conveyed a... Read more
Published 1 month ago by faith tuss
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!
This memoir is one of the best I have read. It is honest, real and inspirational. I highly recommend this book.
Published 1 month ago by C. Hudson
4.0 out of 5 stars Could have been more to the point.
It was a little stretched out in detail.....but enjoyed it. She certainly had a hard life and there were times if I could jump into the book and save her.
Published 1 month ago by Impressions
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