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The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself (Fawcett Book) Paperback – January 21, 1992


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The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself (Fawcett Book) + Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men + The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond
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Product Details

  • Series: Fawcett Book
  • Paperback: 244 pages
  • Publisher: Fawcett Columbine; 1st edition (January 21, 1992)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0449906442
  • ISBN-13: 978-0449906446
  • Product Dimensions: 0.4 x 5.2 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (96 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #19,587 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

If you feel unfairly criticized, controlled by others, or are afraid of being lonely, you could be suffering from emotional abuse. Now there is help in this compassionate sourcebook. Bevery Engel, a marriage, family, and child therapist, guides you through a step-by-step recovery process to help you heal the damage done in the past.

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Customer Reviews

Wish I read this book years ago !!!!!
sarita
This book, and an exceptional one at that, is for those who are ready to be more responsible and break the pattern of emotionally abusive relationships in their lives!
Terri
This book helped me to see my situation for what it was--and really opened my eyes.
Rachel (rachel171717@yahoo.com)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

333 of 336 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 7, 2000
Format: Paperback
For me, this book above all other self-help books on the subject I've read really hit home. I was physically and emotionally abused for most of my childhood. Once I grew up and left home I became involved with emotionally abusive men again and again, for the last several years. I couldn't understand why I always seemed to pick the wrong guy, and why life was so painful, and demeaning. Through therapy and self-help books I was able to come to some realizations. This book was so powerful that halfway through I had to put it down for some time because the personal truths I arrived at were so painful to face. I hope any person out there who is going through or has been through an emotionally abusive relationship will give this book a try. It is well worth it.
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115 of 116 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 12, 1996
Format: Paperback
Engel gives a concise description of what emotional abuse is, and the types of abusers and victims.
She helps to uncover the patterns and reasons for abuse,
ways to recover from it.
Like many women in emotionally abusive relationships, it
was very difficult for me to even see it occurring.
Her book is a constant reminder of how to stop the cycle,
both for me and for my children.
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139 of 143 people found the following review helpful By Rachel (rachel171717@yahoo.com) on October 9, 1999
Format: Paperback
This book helped me to see my situation for what it was--and really opened my eyes. The abuse I was experiencing began as verbal/emotional and escalated into physical. The book was loaned to me by a friend and I cannot put into words how much it helped to read the scenarios that seemed to be exactly what I was going through. Beverly Engel offered step by step help, first explaining the situations, how to identify my role, and how to deal with it. Taking her advice to heart, I am happy to report that I was able to safely leave my abusive relationship and have gone on to help others in the same situation. The book is helpful for all types of abuse, not just emotional. The book is also wonderful to use in conjuction with therapy. Thank you Beverly for being there!!!
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86 of 87 people found the following review helpful By Zinta Aistars on December 24, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
It can take years, even a lifetime, to heal from emotional abuse. The author, Beverly Engel, lets us know within the first pages that she has endured a history of abuse, and from this background, she has made her career choices, mainly, to become a therapist helping others in similar circumstances.

The abused person is often taken by surprise, emotionally involved before the abuse fully takes hold. The abuser often has a two-sided personality, referred to as Jekyll and Hyde - one charming and intelligent and likeable, the other a cruel and perverse tormentor.

Engel writes: "It is often difficult for a woman to admit that she is indeed being emotionally abused, particularly if she is competent and successful in other respects... many women who are being emotionally abused do not even realize what is happening to them. Many suffer from the effects of emotional abuse - depression, lack of motivation, confusion, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, low self-esteem, feelings of failure, worthlessness, and hopelessness, self-blame, and self-destructiveness - but do not understand what is causing these symptoms."

The process seeps into the psyche like a slow poison, rearranging our ability to cope. "She has become so beaten down emotionally that she blames herself for the abuse. Her self-esteem is so low that she clings to her abuser."

Which is perhaps the hardest to understand, by the woman herself as well as family and friends who keep asking - "Why do you stay? Why do you put up with it?" - and never find a rational answer. There is none. Engel explains, "Emotional-abuse victims become so convinced they are worthless that they believe no one else could possibly want them.
Read more ›
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95 of 99 people found the following review helpful By Say Grace on June 24, 2003
Format: Paperback
I was glad I read the 5 star customer reviews here. Once therapy helps you to realize the abuse then this wonderful book can take over the nuts and bolts of your recovery. Engel explains everything very clearly into the what- when- wheres- and why's of emotional abuse and its effects on you. Most importantly she explains the pitfalls of the emotionally abused woman and how she sets up her life (subconciously) for repeated abuse. Engels doesn't leave out the ways to help yourself recover. I plan to read this book again and in my opinion this book qualifies as the bible for adult women who have been emotionally abused as children. Thank you past reviewers!!! And yes I can really see how this book would be fabulous for group therapy. It is very easy to read.
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50 of 50 people found the following review helpful By GHB on May 22, 2001
Format: Paperback
Reading this book was possibly one of the best things to happen to me. I had just left a bad longterm relationship, but was still being sought by my ex-partner, and was having great difficulty understanding what had happened/was happening. I had not considered that I'd been abused. This book is so clear in demonstrating the methods and types of (not only emotional) abuse! As I read it, I felt as if the author was explaining my life to me. One of the best things about the book is that Beverly does not foster hate for or revenge on the person that did this to you; instead she showed me how heal, to strengthen and how to move on with my life as a better person.
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