The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Qty:1
  • List Price: $12.95
  • Save: $1.29 (10%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Add to Cart
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Used: Very Good | Details
Condition: Used: Very Good
Comment: Cover has a few very small corners slightly bent and worn, light wear and crinkling on either end of spine, and a couple very small creases on front. Inside is pristine! Eligible for FREE Super Saving Shipping! Fast Amazon shipping plus a hassle free return policy mean your satisfaction is guaranteed! Tracking number provided in your Amazon account with every order.
Add to Cart
Have one to sell?
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love Paperback – October 1, 2001


See all 4 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$11.66
$7.00 $4.94

Frequently Bought Together

The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love + Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents + When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
Price for all three: $30.00

Buy the selected items together

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Image
Looking for the Audiobook Edition?
Tell us that you'd like this title to be produced as an audiobook, and we'll alert our colleagues at Audible.com. If you are the author or rights holder, let Audible help you produce the audiobook: Learn more at ACX.com.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 120 pages
  • Publisher: Wheatmark; 3 edition (October 1, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1587360675
  • ISBN-13: 978-1587360671
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (75 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #24,161 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is a challenging book. . . . an outstanding testimonial to the benefits that are possible when you recognize that you are an enabler and are willing to take steps to change your behavior. Read it, share it with your family and friends, and put it to good use."

--Jennifer P. Schneider, Author of Back from Betrayal

About the Author

Angelyn Miller is a retired professional educator with a bachelor of science degree in human development and family relations and a master of arts in counseling psychology. She and her husband currently live in Arizona.

More About the Author

Angelyn Miller is a retired professional educator with a bachelor of science degree in human development and family relations and a master of arts in counseling psychology. She and her husband currently live in Arizona.

Customer Reviews

This book has opened my eyes!
mel218
I highly recommend anyone read this who is interested in understanding why family members, or even friends do the things they do.
Michelle Dumaine Dyson
This book was very informative in a short easy to read format.
Misterkite

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

61 of 63 people found the following review helpful By Arvilla C. Fee on June 26, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I bought this book, The Enabler, for my mother-in-law because the title and description seem to fit her perfectly. However, as I read the book from cover-to-cover I quickly realized that there were some enabling "issues" that were in my life as well. This book is written in friendly, easy terms; it doesn't use language that is over the average person's head. Since the author, Angelyn Miller, wrote about her personal life, I felt that I could connect with her on a personal level, and I am hoping that my mother-in-law can do the same. If a person who is an enabler would truly take this book to heart, it could literally change that person's life - for the better. The book is very straight-forward, and it even has "worksheets" and exercises to help the reader become the person that he/she would like to be.
4 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
29 of 29 people found the following review helpful By Recovery Rebecca on June 2, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As a true former enabler, I found this book incredibly helpful. Beginning with the opening poem, I was hooked. I studied the book carefully. The worksheets were helpful and I did them all. I had a son in treatment and need to maintain all the skills I have learned during that process (in fact, the book was recommended by the program). Through reading the book, I learned many subtle ways people enable others, and means of overcoming this destructive behavior. I am in a twelve-step recovery program, and the content in this book was a terrific adjunct to the readings and work I have done there. I highly recommend it to people with alcoholic/addicted children, spouses, partners, friends, co-workers. Enabling really does hurt the ones you love. By learning to love yourself more and develop healthy boundaries, you actually nourish the ones you love and set them free to discover who they are.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
78 of 90 people found the following review helpful By Erica on September 8, 2003
Format: Paperback
Well, I was in a reahb center when my thearapist offered for me to read this book. I put it off for a few weeks when finally I picked it up to be amazed. It is a book that will help all of those who know they are enablers, think they are enablers, or sometimes likes to help a friend out in need. It is an eye opener. I recomend this book to just about anyone, even those who use enablers for their advantage. I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did!
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
29 of 31 people found the following review helpful By O. Brown HALL OF FAMETOP 100 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on October 31, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
*****
Although this book is short, it accomplishes its purpose--to describe enabling and to teach readers how to overcome enabling. It does this through great illustrations from the life of the author about incidents with her husband and son, through descriptions, and through worksheets to help you construct your own recovery plan. I liked that it was short and to the point so that I wasn't wasting my time reading a lot of fluff.

Neither the author nor anyone in her immediate life was involved with alcohol or any other addiction; the book shows how enabling can be something we all can indulge in if we aren't aware.

Highly recommended.
*****
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
43 of 48 people found the following review helpful By Ward A. HARRIS on January 13, 2009
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This book provides an attitude changing experience. The adult who reads this book and takes its message to heart will live a more peaceful life and allow their children (or other dependent person) to grow and live their own lives.

For example, as parents we want to help our children. It is the natural thing to do. When they are small our help is necessary and good. As the children grow, however, they should do more and more for themselves and we parents should do less and less. Eventually, when the child reaches adulthood, we parents should back off and let them do everything for themselves. Otherwise, they continue to be dependent and we become enablers robbing our children of the critical experiences of learning to solve one's own problems and face one's own dilemmas. A child (or anyone else) will usually take the path of least resistance. So, if we solve their problems for them, we are enabling them to take the easy path. It is the wrong path and we are doing them a disservice by being nice and making their lives easy and sheltered. In fact, we become part of the problem. The rule of thumb is never do anything for a person that they can do for themselves even if it is difficult for both them and us.
4 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
31 of 34 people found the following review helpful By B. Staley on September 21, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I could have used this book about four years ago.... For me, I was the enabler and started to go to Alanon meetings about 0ne year ago. Some of the material in this book - I already learned thru Alanon but it was good for me to review it anyway. I truley believe that if you are in an alcoholic or drug situation ---- it is good to learn as much as you can about the disease or problem. I pray for all of you out there that find their life in complete turmoil as they watch a loved one destroy his life and in the end can do a lot of damage both mentally and physically to you. Take care of yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a strange disease where you find yourself thinking that you are "HELPING" but in reality ---you may be prolonging the problem and keeping the alcoholic from finding the "HELP" that they truley need. My story is ending in a divorce to a man that I still care very deeply for but hate the man that he has become as a result of his disease. He is currently slowly dying in a hospital while his insides are so messed up and not getting any better. I wish that if I had read more books like this earlier --- maybe just maybe things may have been different today.... who knows but, it would have lead me in a different direction and I would have done things differently. God bless each and everyone of you who are painfully going thru this ugly mess.
2 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Search