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The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy Hardcover – April 2, 2013


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Basic Books (April 2, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0465002153
  • ISBN-13: 978-0465002153
  • Product Dimensions: 1 x 5.8 x 8.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #279,592 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

The Atlantic
"[An] important, wise, and brave new book...The short book, written in the style of an informative and impassioned pamphlet, is painfully accurate in its assessment of the idiocy that passes for sexuality in the dormitory. Freitas' argument is well-researched and well-grounded, and she is sharp enough to condemn hookup culture on sexual grounds, rather than ethical grounds.... Her indictment couldn't be stronger.... Freitas's work is important because it offers a third way toward sexual independence and autonomy in an America caught between Puritanism and pornography. Rather than morally condemning college students for promiscuity or telling them to treat romance with the detached analysis of the headhunter, she is promising them that better sex—more fun, excitement, and intensity—is available."

Wall Street Journal
"Illuminating.... Using extensive survey research and dozens of interviews with young men and women on college campuses across the country, Ms. Freitas explodes the myth of the 'harmless hookup.'... Freitas’s book is a timely and alarming wake-up call to students, college administrators and parents, and she presents a compelling argument against the hookup culture.”

Boston Globe
“[A] straight-forward, well-researched, and eye-opening book…. This compelling testimony from young people around the country provides ample evidence for why this campus lifestyle should not be ignored.”

Christianity Today
“Freitas provides compelling evidence that far too many young adults live lives of quiet desperation—sexually and socially...The End of Sex paints a vivid portrait of hookup culture…There is much in The End of Sex to applaud.”

Toronto Star
“The book is informative, non-judgmental and a must-read for parents and for their university-aged kids although once you become immersed in it you’ll be screaming (as I was), ‘Oh spirit, show me no more.’ But keep reading and start figuring out a new conversation with the kids — or they may never know ‘what love’s got to do with it.'"

Publishers Weekly
“[A] scathing and reasoned attack on the casual-sex culture at American universities…. [Freitas] encourages mindfulness and an open dialogue about what students want to get out of sex, and her remedies (which include temporary periods of abstinence and a return to the traditional date) should provide, if not solutions, at least inspiration for parents and college staff in talking to students about how to have better relationships, and better sex.”

Lauren Sandler, author of Righteous and One and Only
“You may think you know about hookup culture, but unless you have read Freitas’s clear, compassionate, and complete study, you have no idea. Instead of gleaning the state of intimacy of an entire generation from a few subjects, Freitas surveys and interviews thousands of students, and the vast scope of the pervasive hookup culture she discovers is stunning. I recommend this book to men and women alike, students and professors, parents and kids—anyone with a personal or social interest in physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, and the widening chasm in between. Whether you spar with Freitas’s conclusions, or feel liberated by them, The End of Sex is simply indispensable.”

About the Author

Donna Freitas is the author of Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance and Religion on America’s College Campuses, and she has lectured at more than seventy-five colleges and universities around the country on hookup culture and how college students today find meaning (or don’t) during the college experience. She lives in Brooklyn.

More About the Author

Donna Freitas is the author of both fiction and nonfiction. Over the years she has written for national newspapers and magazines, including The Wall Street Journal,The New York Times, The Boston Globe, and Newsweek. Donna has been a professor at Boston University in the Department of Religion and also at Hofstra University in their Honors College. She writes children's novels for Scholastic, Harper Collins, and FSG, and she loves it very much! Donna splits her time between Brooklyn, NY and Barcelona, Spain.

Goodreads page: http://www.goodreads.com/donnafreitas
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/donnafreitasofficial

Customer Reviews

This hurts women more than men, but it hurts both.
John J. Valentine
Unfortunately, her decision to not seek the same assistance in setting up the survey proves fatal here.
Indy Reviewer
The book poses as some sort of scientific and academic analysis, though its anything but.
Claudia Cascini

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 53 people found the following review helpful By Indy Reviewer VINE VOICE on April 6, 2013
Format: Hardcover
The main point of Donna Freitas' "The End of Sex" is entirely reasonable: that the hookup culture on some campuses isn't particularly healthy for college students. In the process of trying to support this, though, Freitas runs into some major problems, butchering the methodology of her survey and providing an overall analysis that is both flawed and and impractical. 2 stars, as credit needs to be given to the author for at least doing some serious thinking and passionate writing about this phenomenon.

Freitas' conclusion about the hookup culture - that it "silences, shames, isolates, and disempowers students, quashing their ethics, desires, and differences, their need for respect and connection, and their need to be treated with bodily dignity, to express emotion, and the experience of pleasure" - is going to alienate some readers even before they crack open her book. Even if readers don't agree, though, there is an objective argument to be made about the consequences for this generation once they begin attempting to settle down and form long term relationships without the benefit of learning from the dating mistakes everyone makes in their teens and twenties. Not surprisingly, the most compelling portion of the book comes when Freitas discusses Kerry Cronin's work on the challenges and benefits of actually getting students to try dating rather than hooking up, since Ms. Cronin is one of the few people who've taken practical steps to address this gap.

Unfortunately, that is one of the few highlights.

First, the methodology for many of her arguments is simply atrocious.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By valj50 on July 28, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
As a starting freshman in college this fall semster, I found this book to be incredibly thought provoking. The state of relationships in our countries Universtities is incredibly unhealthy. Only time will tell if there is anything we can do to change "hook-up culture".
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Dorien Jacques on August 11, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I am going to be a first year student at college in a few weeks, and this book opened my eyes on what I kind of already knew. But the way the information is presented is thought provoking and interesting. Coming from a college students view this is a mandatory read...
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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Jessica on June 3, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
As someone who recently graduated from college, Freitas's portrait of hookup culture is very accurate. I didn't participate in it as much as my peers, but I saw much truth in the student testimonials. I also appreciated her approach of interviewing students one on one where they weren't subject to peer pressure and allowed to be honest. One thing I wish she addressed more is even when you graduate from college and try to seek real relationships, the behavioral patterns that hookup culture teaches do not disappear. They still cripple young adults' abilitiy to make meaningful connections with others without relying on drinking and meaningless sex. How we can fix this I'm not sure of, but this book definitely goes a long way to raising awareness about the destructiveness of hookup culture.
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Format: Hardcover
I picked up this book a few days ago in a great hurry as I was getting ready for a business trip and needed some reading material for on the plane. A quick look at the cover and in particular the subtitle, and I took a flier on this (even though both my kids are out of college by now).

In "The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy" (236 pages), author Donna Freitas goes into further detail about the hookup culture on America's college campuses (Freitas authored a previous book that touched upon this, called "Sex and The Soul", which I have not read). For the surprised ones (like myelf), Freitas explains that the hookup culture consists of three elements: 1. some sexual component; 2. it's brief; and 3. communication and emotional involvement is kept to a minimum, if at all. If this is mostly new to you (as it is for me), wait until you get to the chapter on theme parties! While there are some efforts to try and combat this hookup culture, they are isolated. The best chapter in here is towards the end called "Opting Out of the Hookup Culture via the Date", in which the author describes that college kids today generally have no idea what a "real" date is like, and very few start out on a relationship by asking someone on a date. Wow.

Several comments: first and foremost, I just feel bad for the college kids today that apparently the overwhelming, if not only, option on many campuses today is the hookup, leaving aside all of the other options. Beware: I do not pine for "the good old days" as things evolve over time, but if what Freitas describe is truly the current state of affairs on college campuses, it is bewildering to me.
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By Mayde on June 4, 2014
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This is a terrific book for high school and college students - and their parents and school teachers/administrators. Freitas lets students speak for themselves about the emptiness and personal costs of hooking up and about how many students feel pressured to hook up but want a deeper relationship, which seems beyond their grasp. Freitas doesn't present any easy answers...calling instead for emotional maturity and responsible decision-making. Abstinence doesn't work, either - but Freitas leaves the door open for a personal choice of abstinence on a temporary basis or even until marriage. Don't look for moralizing here, or black and white attitudes. Hooking up demeans both sexes, and many in both sexes want more fulfilling relationships. To me, the best part of this book is the support it gives to students who are uneasy with hooking up - and also the clarion call for healthier alternatives to be presented at schools and on campuses. Students who are trying to mature with respect for themselves and for others may need a hand to help them through the pressures of the hook-up generation.
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