The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership [Paperback]

Richard Eyre (Author), Linda Eyre (Author)

Book Description

Release date: September 6, 2011

Dump the allowance-and use a new "Family Economy" to raise responsible children in an age of instant gratification.

Number-one New York Times bestselling authors Richard and Linda Eyre, have spent the last twenty-five years helping parents nurture strong, healthy families. Now they've synthesized their vast experience in an essential blueprint to instilling children with a sense of ownership, responsibility, and self-sufficiency. At the heart of their plan is the "Family Economy" complete with a family bank, checkbooks for kids, and a system of initiative-building responsibilities that teaches kids to earn money for the things they want. The motivation carries over to ownership of their own decisions, values, and goals. Anecdotal, time-tested, and gently humorous, The Entitlement Trap challenges some of the sacred cows of parenting and replaces them with values that will save kids (and their parents) from a lifetime of dependence and disabling debt.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Linda and Richard Eyre continue to reach out to parents with sage advice on nurturing the family's value system."

(-Dr. Phil )

"I've known Richard and Linda Eyre for thirty years...They are very attractive personalities with magnificent messages...They walk their talk and have such practical, realistic ideas to help us in our families, in our life-balance, and in building values deep inside our own lives."

(-Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People )

About the Author

In addition to being renowned authors and parenting experts, Richard and Linda Eyre are also the parents of nine children-or as they say, "one of every kind"-and live in Park city, Utah.

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Avery Trade; 1 edition (September 6, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1583334157
• ISBN-13: 978-1583334157
• Product Dimensions: 6.6 x 0.7 x 8.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #9,775 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #22 in Books > Business & Investing > Personal Finance > Budgeting & Money Management

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

53 of 56 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful for Those New to the Eyres, Not a Lot New for Veterans September 13, 2011

By Mayflower Girl TOP 500 REVIEWER

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I pre-ordered this book and was very excited to receive it the day it came out. I learned about the Eyres through their "Teaching Your Children Values" book a few months ago--and promptly became a fan. I then ended up buying or borrowing through the library many of their existing books. Perhaps it's because I've read so many of their books in a short span of time, but there's not a lot new here. The stories are the same, the plan is the same, etc.

It's the family economy--including peg system and check books, family rules, and family traditions. It's really like a best of... the best tips from all of their books. I can tell you that these are the things that have made a difference in my family--so if you're not familiar with their previous works, then by all means, buy this book! You will find numerous practical tips that you can put into play tomorrow that can make a change with your family. I really urge you to just try and do one thing and build upon it. We started with a family meeting--and it made such a difference. Also, Linda's advice of Praise (I think I first read about it in "A Joyful Mother to Children" but maybe it's in the Nurturing book) has turned around my "problem" child.

We've implemented a lot of their suggestions--including family rules (although not as one-word simple as theirs), a family motto/mission statement, family economy, and family values. If you have young kids, I highly recommend Brite Music's Standin' Tall audio series for a monthly value. (LDS company, but secular as far as I can tell.) The monthly values are not exactly the same as with the Eyres, but the presentation and even the choice of values seems to make more sense for young kids. We also really like the Dave Ramsey storybooks for kids about Junior for teaching fiscal knowledge/responsibility.

If I hadn't purchased many of their books already, this would be a new favorite. If you like this and want to read more by these authors, these are my favorites:

1. Three Steps to a Strong Family
2. The Book of Nurturing
3. A Joyful Mother of Children
4. Teaching Your Children Values

I also found reading through "How to Talk to You Children About Sex" useful--and although I thought 8 was too young to have "the talk", I've realized that they're right--and I'm wrong. (I will say we disagree on homosexuality and masturbation.)

The ONLY reason I'm taking away one star is that it's a lot of the same materials in their other books. This is a five star book for anybody new to the Eyres. However, even if you've read it all before, it's always good to be reminded of various techniques and ideas. In all honesty, each and every time I re-read a parenting book, I am inspired to try at least one thing new or do things a bit differently.

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Help save your children from an unhealthy sense of entitlement and teach them to earn and respect the things they own. September 25, 2011

By Jen E

Format:Paperback

My husband and I often complain about the sense of entitlement that we see in America where we as country have created a society where it is easy to have the things we want without really working for it - and there is always something new to want tomorrow. Why wait to get something you really want that other people already have? How do you exercise the discipline to save for these purchases and work hard to earn them?

We see these problems not just in kids but also fellow adults. What example are we setting for our children? Are our parenting practices setting them up for a responsible future or are we unknowingly adding to the problem by doting on them too much? I honestly wasn't sure, so this book, which I received a copy of in exchange for my honest review, was very intriguing to me.

The basic idea of this book is to create a family banking system where your children (starting at about the age of 8) begin to truly work for the allowance money that they earn - in a way that has them keep track of the work they are doing and either reap the rewards of their efforts or suffer the consequences of their idleness or forgetfulness. The big emphasis here is that the kids learn to keep track of their chores themselves and understand what their work earns - how many chores they need to do to afford the video game or new pair of jeans they want. Parents should encourage kids but try not to interfere or hold their hand through the process.

I like this concept a lot and although my kids are still too young to really implement something like this with them, I do see it as being a good (common sense improved upon) idea - if we can teach our kids to manage their money at a young age while the stakes are small, then they will be better prepared for when the stakes are larger. And as a fringe benefit, the Eyre's have found children seem to appreciate the things they have earned far more than the things they are given!

That said, concerning the actual process of reading this book - I will admit that I found the book tedious and repetitive at times. I think this is true for a lot of non-fiction as repetition does help to drive home important concepts and nonfiction is bound to be drier than fiction for sure - they do have a lot of testimonials and personal anecdotes to lighten up the book, but even these became rather lengthy after awhile. Basically, I think the book could have been shorter than it was while still getting across all their best ideas - but I am glad to have read it for the useful ideas and information that I found.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Entitlement Trap June 13, 2012

By K. Just

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

Just what an exasperated Mom needed to read to get her 14 year old son on track! We are following many of the suggestions given in the book and are so pleased with the small progress we are making. We are confident that as we continue on this journey, our son will come to appreciate all that he has been offered along with pride for what he has achieved. A must read for every parent that is realizing that their child(ren) believe them to be an ATM and that their every wish is your command. It is time for parents to take back control to help their children become the adults they truly want them to be.