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The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership
 
 
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The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership [Paperback]

Richard Eyre (Author), Linda Eyre (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 6, 2011

Dump the allowance-and use a new "Family Economy" to raise responsible children in an age of instant gratification.

Number-one New York Times bestselling authors Richard and Linda Eyre, have spent the last twenty-five years helping parents nurture strong, healthy families. Now they've synthesized their vast experience in an essential blueprint to instilling children with a sense of ownership, responsibility, and self-sufficiency. At the heart of their plan is the "Family Economy" complete with a family bank, checkbooks for kids, and a system of initiative-building responsibilities that teaches kids to earn money for the things they want. The motivation carries over to ownership of their own decisions, values, and goals. Anecdotal, time-tested, and gently humorous, The Entitlement Trap challenges some of the sacred cows of parenting and replaces them with values that will save kids (and their parents) from a lifetime of dependence and disabling debt.


Frequently Bought Together

Customers buy this book with How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It's Best to Start Early, but It's Never Too Late -- A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents $10.87

The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership + How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It's Best to Start Early, but It's Never Too Late -- A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents


Editorial Reviews

Review

"Linda and Richard Eyre continue to reach out to parents with sage advice on nurturing the family''s value system."
(-Dr. Phil )

"I''ve known Richard and Linda Eyre for thirty years...They are very attractive personalities with magnificent messages...They walk their talk and have such practical, realistic ideas to help us in our families, in our life-balance, and in building values deep inside our own lives."
(-Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ) --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"Linda and Richard Eyre continue to reach out to parents with sage advice on nurturing the family's value system."
(-Dr. Phil )

"I've known Richard and Linda Eyre for thirty years...They are very attractive personalities with magnificent messages...They walk their talk and have such practical, realistic ideas to help us in our families, in our life-balance, and in building values deep inside our own lives."
(-Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People )

Product Details

  • Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Avery Trade; 1 edition (September 6, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1583334157
  • ISBN-13: 978-1583334157
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #17,144 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
37 of 38 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I pre-ordered this book and was very excited to receive it the day it came out. I learned about the Eyres through their "Teaching Your Children Values" book a few months ago--and promptly became a fan. I then ended up buying or borrowing through the library many of their existing books. Perhaps it's because I've read so many of their books in a short span of time, but there's not a lot new here. The stories are the same, the plan is the same, etc.

It's the family economy--including peg system and check books, family rules, and family traditions. It's really like a best of... the best tips from all of their books. I can tell you that these are the things that have made a difference in my family--so if you're not familiar with their previous works, then by all means, buy this book! You will find numerous practical tips that you can put into play tomorrow that can make a change with your family. I really urge you to just try and do one thing and build upon it. We started with a family meeting--and it made such a difference. Also, Linda's advice of Praise (I think I first read about it in "A Joyful Mother to Children" but maybe it's in the Nurturing book) has turned around my "problem" child.

We've implemented a lot of their suggestions--including family rules (although not as one-word simple as theirs), a family motto/mission statement, family economy, and family values. If you have young kids, I highly recommend Brite Music's Standin' Tall audio series for a monthly value. (LDS company, but secular as far as I can tell.) The monthly values are not exactly the same as with the Eyres, but the presentation and even the choice of values seems to make more sense for young kids. We also really like the Dave Ramsey storybooks for kids about Junior for teaching fiscal knowledge/responsibility.

If I hadn't purchased many of their books already, this would be a new favorite. If you like this and want to read more by these authors, these are my favorites:

1. Three Steps to a Strong Family
2. The Book of Nurturing
3. A Joyful Mother of Children
4. Teaching Your Children Values

I also found reading through "How to Talk to You Children About Sex" useful--and although I thought 8 was too young to have "the talk", I've realized that they're right--and I'm wrong. (I will say we disagree on homosexuality and masturbation.)

The ONLY reason I'm taking away one star is that it's a lot of the same materials in their other books. This is a five star book for anybody new to the Eyres. However, even if you've read it all before, it's always good to be reminded of various techniques and ideas. In all honesty, each and every time I re-read a parenting book, I am inspired to try at least one thing new or do things a bit differently.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
By Jen E
Format:Paperback
My husband and I often complain about the sense of entitlement that we see in America where we as country have created a society where it is easy to have the things we want without really working for it - and there is always something new to want tomorrow. Why wait to get something you really want that other people already have? How do you exercise the discipline to save for these purchases and work hard to earn them?

We see these problems not just in kids but also fellow adults. What example are we setting for our children? Are our parenting practices setting them up for a responsible future or are we unknowingly adding to the problem by doting on them too much? I honestly wasn't sure, so this book, which I received a copy of in exchange for my honest review, was very intriguing to me.

The basic idea of this book is to create a family banking system where your children (starting at about the age of 8) begin to truly work for the allowance money that they earn - in a way that has them keep track of the work they are doing and either reap the rewards of their efforts or suffer the consequences of their idleness or forgetfulness. The big emphasis here is that the kids learn to keep track of their chores themselves and understand what their work earns - how many chores they need to do to afford the video game or new pair of jeans they want. Parents should encourage kids but try not to interfere or hold their hand through the process.

I like this concept a lot and although my kids are still too young to really implement something like this with them, I do see it as being a good (common sense improved upon) idea - if we can teach our kids to manage their money at a young age while the stakes are small, then they will be better prepared for when the stakes are larger. And as a fringe benefit, the Eyre's have found children seem to appreciate the things they have earned far more than the things they are given!

That said, concerning the actual process of reading this book - I will admit that I found the book tedious and repetitive at times. I think this is true for a lot of non-fiction as repetition does help to drive home important concepts and nonfiction is bound to be drier than fiction for sure - they do have a lot of testimonials and personal anecdotes to lighten up the book, but even these became rather lengthy after awhile. Basically, I think the book could have been shorter than it was while still getting across all their best ideas - but I am glad to have read it for the useful ideas and information that I found.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
My Ideal Family System November 17, 2011
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
My husband (M. Russell) I have been married almost seven years. Within the first month of being married we were already brainstorming ideas for when we had children - how we would teach them about finances, etc. We didn't have our first child until we had been married for 3 years (he is almost 4 now) and we have continued to read parenting books that teach these principles (we also LOVED America's Cheapest Family by the Economides America's Cheapest Family Gets You Right on the Money: Your Guide to Living Better, Spending Less, and Cashing in on Your Dreams) - and it is interesting how so many of them are using the same principles to teach their kids to be self-sufficient, responsible and good stewards of what they have rather than waiting for handouts from everyone else.

We will implement the this system as my oldest is ready for the different stages since it has worked for many families AND because it is so in alignment with many of the ideas my husband and I have brainstormed over the years. Why re-invent the wheel when someone else has figured it all out?

To the reviewer who only gave this book one star - Did you actually read this book and the anecdotes the Eyre's shared that came from dozens of OTHER families who use this system? Did you catch on how often they said this wasn't something that should be implemented all at once, but rather through a process gradually building upon earlier, established parts of the system? It is not too detailed that families won't really use this system because other families have and do use this system!

This is the first Kindle book I've read (I just got my first smartphone a week ago) and I am so immersed in it that I was surprised when I was 50% of the way through the book. I don't even realize how much I've read because it is so engaging (although I have come to appreciate non-fiction books a lot more over the last 5 years). Some things are repetitive - but repetition is one of the ways we learn something really well. The more times you read/hear something the better you will understand/learn it so that you can implement it.

This is also the first Eyre book I've read and I told my husband last night that we should buy their Values book.

If you just want a brief overview of the system before purchasing this book - check out the Eyre's website: [...] as I am sure that teaches what is in the book in a 'pamphlet' form. That might be enough for other people, but I like to be as thorough as I can when I study something so I like the anecdotes from the Eyre's life as well as the stories from the other parents who have used this system. Reading how other people adapt the system to their own family helps me start thinking how I can adapt the system to my family and our interests.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Love it
I love this book! I can't say enough good things about it. Very helpful tool for us as parents.We have instituted the financial ownership strategy and weve seen amazing changes in... Read more
Published 6 days ago by Tamara Bright
Great advice
The first half of this book is amazing and has given me the tools to try to make my kids participate in running our home and to become grateful for all they've been given. Read more
Published 1 month ago by alison
A must read
This is a must read for all parents with young children.
The authors point out many ways to avoid creating issues are at the core of problems occurring a few years later.
Published 2 months ago by Superquail
Great Book
This book has given me some great insights and ideas on how to teach responsibility and how to value the things he has.
Published 3 months ago by J. Culbreth
Great Book
Great book with lots of info and ideas how to help raise your kids to be independent and smart about money, etc. Definitely recommend it to parents.
Published 3 months ago by Tech Diver
Disappointing Lack of Practical Application
The concepts presented by the Eyres are good. I was disappointed in the lack of practical application. I'm a visual person. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Alyson Tolman
Something all parents need to read and apply!
I teach character education in the school system and feel there is such a need for this to be taught more in the homes. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Chantelle Adams
Informative and Very Helpful
Deciding what children are entitled to versus what they should feel responsibly for -- it's a difficult topic for most parents and families. Read more
Published 6 months ago by MyParenTime.com
Incredible!
This book is incredible! Strait forward and so full on common sense. It is a great tool for parents. Read it before you NEED to read it!
Published 6 months ago by missmac3
not worth buying
The book is very repetitive and felt like they were just trying to fill up the pages of a small book. Some of the concepts are good, but could have been written in a pamphlet. Read more
Published 7 months ago by p j Livingston
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