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on May 16, 2013
My wife and I have been reading this book together and implementing it with our kids. We have really seen some great results with our kids. The ONLY thing that I don't like, however, is that in order to get access to all their "Secret Code" words and stories, you then have to go to their website and spend an additional $50 on a membership. If they didn't charge for that, I'd have given this 5 stars, but I was REALLY bugged by that. I debated giving it 3 stars for that alone.
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on September 13, 2011
I pre-ordered this book and was very excited to receive it the day it came out. I learned about the Eyres through their "Teaching Your Children Values" book a few months ago--and promptly became a fan. I then ended up buying or borrowing through the library many of their existing books. Perhaps it's because I've read so many of their books in a short span of time, but there's not a lot new here. The stories are the same, the plan is the same, etc.

It's the family economy--including peg system and check books, family rules, and family traditions. It's really like a best of... the best tips from all of their books. I can tell you that these are the things that have made a difference in my family--so if you're not familiar with their previous works, then by all means, buy this book! You will find numerous practical tips that you can put into play tomorrow that can make a change with your family. I really urge you to just try and do one thing and build upon it. We started with a family meeting--and it made such a difference. Also, Linda's advice of Praise (I think I first read about it in "A Joyful Mother to Children" but maybe it's in the Nurturing book) has turned around my "problem" child.

We've implemented a lot of their suggestions--including family rules (although not as one-word simple as theirs), a family motto/mission statement, family economy, and family values. If you have young kids, I highly recommend Brite Music's Standin' Tall audio series for a monthly value. (LDS company, but secular as far as I can tell.) The monthly values are not exactly the same as with the Eyres, but the presentation and even the choice of values seems to make more sense for young kids. We also really like the Dave Ramsey storybooks for kids about Junior for teaching fiscal knowledge/responsibility.

If I hadn't purchased many of their books already, this would be a new favorite. If you like this and want to read more by these authors, these are my favorites:

1. Three Steps to a Strong Family
2. The Book of Nurturing
3. A Joyful Mother of Children
4. Teaching Your Children Values

I also found reading through "How to Talk to You Children About Sex" useful--and although I thought 8 was too young to have "the talk", I've realized that they're right--and I'm wrong. (I will say we disagree on homosexuality and masturbation.)

The ONLY reason I'm taking away one star is that it's a lot of the same materials in their other books. This is a five star book for anybody new to the Eyres. However, even if you've read it all before, it's always good to be reminded of various techniques and ideas. In all honesty, each and every time I re-read a parenting book, I am inspired to try at least one thing new or do things a bit differently.
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on September 25, 2011
My husband and I often complain about the sense of entitlement that we see in America where we as country have created a society where it is easy to have the things we want without really working for it - and there is always something new to want tomorrow. Why wait to get something you really want that other people already have? How do you exercise the discipline to save for these purchases and work hard to earn them?

We see these problems not just in kids but also fellow adults. What example are we setting for our children? Are our parenting practices setting them up for a responsible future or are we unknowingly adding to the problem by doting on them too much? I honestly wasn't sure, so this book, which I received a copy of in exchange for my honest review, was very intriguing to me.

The basic idea of this book is to create a family banking system where your children (starting at about the age of 8) begin to truly work for the allowance money that they earn - in a way that has them keep track of the work they are doing and either reap the rewards of their efforts or suffer the consequences of their idleness or forgetfulness. The big emphasis here is that the kids learn to keep track of their chores themselves and understand what their work earns - how many chores they need to do to afford the video game or new pair of jeans they want. Parents should encourage kids but try not to interfere or hold their hand through the process.

I like this concept a lot and although my kids are still too young to really implement something like this with them, I do see it as being a good (common sense improved upon) idea - if we can teach our kids to manage their money at a young age while the stakes are small, then they will be better prepared for when the stakes are larger. And as a fringe benefit, the Eyre's have found children seem to appreciate the things they have earned far more than the things they are given!

That said, concerning the actual process of reading this book - I will admit that I found the book tedious and repetitive at times. I think this is true for a lot of non-fiction as repetition does help to drive home important concepts and nonfiction is bound to be drier than fiction for sure - they do have a lot of testimonials and personal anecdotes to lighten up the book, but even these became rather lengthy after awhile. Basically, I think the book could have been shorter than it was while still getting across all their best ideas - but I am glad to have read it for the useful ideas and information that I found.
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on June 13, 2012
Just what an exasperated Mom needed to read to get her 14 year old son on track! We are following many of the suggestions given in the book and are so pleased with the small progress we are making. We are confident that as we continue on this journey, our son will come to appreciate all that he has been offered along with pride for what he has achieved. A must read for every parent that is realizing that their child(ren) believe them to be an ATM and that their every wish is your command. It is time for parents to take back control to help their children become the adults they truly want them to be.
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on August 12, 2015
Just finished it and really appreciated their perspective and insights. Already changed our chore chart (we decided to write all the chores to be done in the house - about 80 - on colored tongue depressors and put in a jar and she chooses 2 or 3 each day) she loves the variety and I love she gets to learn each chore in the house. Also, helped how to do "allowance vs. money for chores" which was our big dilemma. I love this new way of getting her all the money she needs for clothes, songs, movies, activites, etc. through this system so she has to manage her own money.
My daughter is 14 and has already learned several lessons about budgeting through some mistakes (small ones:) and I feel so much better knowing she is learning this now instead of in college where the money mistakes would be bigger...
Thanks, Eyres for another great, applicable, positive book
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on September 10, 2013
This book was recommended to me by another psychologist, a friend who is an African-American mother raising two young boys. Neither of us want our children to feel that everything should come their way just because they exist and we want to raise young people who take pride in their efforts. I read it and the ideas in the book have now had a permanent effect on my parenting. I started using the book's technique of paying my daughter for completing certain tasks, rather than asking her to do them because it's the right thing to do while giving her unearned automatic allowances. The sense of ownership and pride she takes in her tasks is growing. I am also inplementing the book's recomendation of focusing on one value a month to teach and discuss, which is not only effective but allows me another activity to enjoy during mommy - daughter discussions.
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on May 18, 2012
I love this book! I can't say enough good things about it. Very helpful tool for us as parents.We have instituted the financial ownership strategy and weve seen amazing changes in our daughter. Getting ready to begin the values strategy.
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on March 20, 2016
If you want your children to not become entitled, this is the book for you! I love the idea of the money system that is described in this book and we initiated it almost immediately! Our kids are learning about earning money for their hard work and that Mom and Dad will not be buying everything that they need and want anymore.
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on January 2, 2014
I love to read books by Richard and Linda Eyre. They have never disappointed me. This book is fabulous. They help us see the importance of not giving our children everything they think they want. To work for what you get in life. don't expect others to give give give to you.... I can't say enough about how good this book is. I have gained many insights. I highly recommend " The Entitlement Trap".
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VINE VOICEon November 25, 2011
Deciding what children are entitled to versus what they should feel responsibly for -- it's a difficult topic for most parents and families. Most kids value stuff and "want it now." From grandparents spoiling their grandchildren, to friends who constantly brag about all the things they receive, it's definitely a difficult task to help children gain a sense of self-esteem, self-ownership, self-sufficiency, and a general understanding of how the world works.

The book, "The Entitlement Trap," by Richard and Linda Eyre, shows parents how to teach children how to be responsible with money in life; increase their self-esteem; and how to develop better goals, values, and relationships. Each chapter includes numerous tips throughout. It also includes sample situations and examples of how to handle them, so you can put these lessons to use in your own family. highly recommends this book -- from easy-to-read chapters, to informative tips and examples, "The Entitlement Trap" gives parents tools needed to help children create stronger values and respect.
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