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The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings Paperback – April 24, 2012


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Frequently Bought Together

The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings + The Gay Couple's Guide to Wedding Planning: Everything Gay Men Need to Know to Create a Fun, Romantic, and Memorable Ceremony + Getting Groomed: The Ultimate Wedding Planner for Gay Grooms
Price for all three: $48.12

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: The Experiment; Third Edition edition (April 24, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1615190546
  • ISBN-13: 978-1615190546
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 7.2 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #495,161 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Now in its third edition, this guide offers 22 chapters of witty, wise, and practical advice, covering everything from domestic partnerships and the concept of marriage to how to cope (e.g., being gay in a straight world). . . . This indispensable book also contains illustrations, inspiring photographs, and an extensive list of web resources.”
Library Journal

“A beautifully conceived and illustrated book that tackles every aspect of the wedding ceremony with humor and pride. . . . Tongue-in-cheek hyperbole is the hallmark of this thorough and witty guide, and traditional couples as well as gays will find its lighthearted yet seriously knowledgeable tone refreshing. . . . this book [is] as much a statement about gay life as it is a nontraditional wedding planner.”
Patricia Holt, San Francisco Chronicle

“[The book offers] hints on how to deal with family members (an obstacle at many weddings but sometimes more so in same-sex weddings) with humor, and shared experiences that will help any couple put their wedding into perspective.”
Tony Bravo, San Francisco Chronicle

“[The authors] answer with eloquence and wit the arguments that many gay activists have marshaled in opposition to gay and lesbians codifying their relationships in the same ways that straights do. . . . even the book’s most serious advice is generously larded with humor. . . . [Ayers and Brown] have left out none of the trappings.”
Charles Isherwood, The Advocate

“A chatty, humorous compendium of traditions, advice, and wedding details geared for same-sex couples.”
Publishers Weekly

“All you need is love—and this book—to have a great wedding.”
Melissa Etheridge, musician and LGBT activist

“Everything you need to consider to plan the event of a lifetime—except the man or woman of your dreams.”
Eric Marcus, author of Making History and Is It a Choice?

“Even the straight and single will get a kick out of this book! I found myself having lesbian-marriage envy!”
Kathy Najimy, actor and writer


About the Author

Tess Ayers has worked in advertising and graphic design, written for game shows, and was a producer on a number of television talk shows. When she and her partner Jane Anderson decided to have a wedding ceremony in 1992, they were unable to find a proper guide for gays and lesbians, and this book was conceived and born two years later. In the years since then Tess has been busy raising their son, now 17, and works on the boards of several not-for-profit organizations. Tess, Jane and Raphael happily divide their time between Los Angeles and Marin County.


Paul Brown has a BA in theater arts from Harpur College, Binghamton University. Over the years he has worked in theater (treasured every moment), a bit in television (not so much), and a stint in “celebrity journalism” (seemed like a good idea at the time). For the past fifteen years Paul has taught Special Education in Los Angeles. He met Tess Ayers several months before her wedding over two decades ago (then called a “commitment ceremony”). When the honeymoon was over, they collaborated on the first version of this book. Currently, Paul is working on a vocabulary and reading comprehension program for students with learning differences. He has never been married himself but he sure knows how to plan a wedding.

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Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
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See all 20 customer reviews
I have enjoyed planning my wedding.
Sweetbrit15
Aside from what one would expect to plan for in one's own wedding, this book brings up things we never considered.
Richard L. Mogan
Great ideas, great support, read it cover to cover and found great information I wasn't even looking for!
Chrystal D. Hajek

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Dancer and Dance Teacher on July 6, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I purchased this book after a loooong search and found it to have a wealth of fantastic information for gay and lesbian weddings. It is written from a candid viewpoint, takes into account double groom and double bride weddings, parents, invitations, locations, etc. Basically it is a great jumping off point to help find resources and go about planning your special day, whether you want to be more traditional, or do your own thing. The chapters devoted to dealing with family members were especially great, and the use of humorous stories and experiences made the book very personal.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Lynn on August 9, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Did you know that there is a cake tasting fee? I didn't. This book has helpful tips like that coupled with funny insights into planning a gay wedding.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Robert D. Shull on September 5, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings is an essential read for any same-sex couple planning a wedding. The authors offer describe traditional practices and offer insightful suggestions on how same-sex couples can adapt these practices for their own celebration. They make it clear that couples can have as traditional or as non-traditional a celebration as they desire. The authors also provide helpful checklists to help couples think through the many things that go into planning a wedding and to organize their thoughts.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By sturgis 2010 on November 26, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I appreciate the explanation of wedding traditions (bouquet toss, garter, rings, etc.) so I can decide if I want to use them in my wedding.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By K. Hamm on November 4, 2009
Format: Paperback
Eleven years ago, long before same sex marriage was a regular headline, my partner and I used the Essential Guide as an indispensable tool for planning our own wedding. Their ground-breaking, informative and humorous advice was inspiring for us -- so much so that I recommended their book highly in the earliest days of our own ground-breaking business serving same sex couples -- the online boutiques [...] and [...] (now [...]), founded in 1999. Thank goodness they are back! The old editions were getting hard to come by and today's aspiring brides and grooms will undoubtedly benefit from this updated guide. So, here's a toast to the NEW Essential Guide!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Danae M. Falliers on October 14, 2009
Format: Paperback
This is a wonderful updated guide for all gay and lesbian couples that want to say "I do". The original was way before it's time, and greatly appreciated by many who were forging through the murky and joyful waters of wedding planning.

Ms Ayers and Mr Brown continue their wonderful (professional) partnership, and are truly gentle and essential guides for all same-sex couples contemplating the next big step.
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By Amy on September 18, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Answers to all those questions you never thought you would get to think about: how to manage your mother, how to manager her mother, what should you pay for x, when do I think about y, how much will this actually cost?!

Funny, precise, covers all the topics you could imagine!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I absolutely love this book! It has been wonderful. I really am happy how it keeps me so organized. I have enjoyed planning my wedding.
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