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The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities Paperback – December 1, 1997


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 280 pages
  • Publisher: Greenery Press; 1st edition (December 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1890159018
  • ISBN-13: 978-1890159016
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (107 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #103,754 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

I enjoyed this book and found some of the lists and advice helpful and the anecdotes were interesting and sometimes funny.
Lea Woodard
Several good points are emphasized: love and sex are not necessarily the same, one may be an expression of the other but they CAN be completely separate.
P.W. Reader
This book is a great resource for people new to this lifestyle, but also just a great tool to understand communication better.
M McDonnell

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

271 of 285 people found the following review helpful By darklock@obscure.org on April 13, 1998
Format: Paperback
Like other reviewers, I've bought many copies of this and give or loan them out to friends, lovers, and people I'm interested in. Rather than duplicate other reviews in their glowing general praise (which would be easy), I'll go a step further and strongly suggest getting this book not because it will help you find multiple lovers or because it's a good read, or because it's full of helpful advice on relationships in general, but rather because without the advice and insight in this book polyamory is *really* hard to pull off. This book gives you many of the lessons you might not learn otherwise except by having dismal relationship failures and painful breakups. (These may still come anyway, but The Ethical Slut will help you avoid them, and cope if they happen). I can't recommend this highly enough. However, I would add the slight caveat that the somewhat hedonistic approach of Easton & Liszt can be balanced out fairly well by a follow-up reading of Anapol's Polyamory: The New 'Love Without Limits'. Anapol's work is not as "fun", and gets tediously naggy along "spirituality" lines that are very hippyish and and full of newage, but the message she conveys include a lot of responsibility and cooperation memes that are not as prevalent in Easton & Liszt's book. The two-book combo is really a must.
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226 of 239 people found the following review helpful By P.W. Reader on June 30, 2000
Format: Paperback
I've seen so many failed marriages due to infidelity that recently I began to wonder what I was in for if I ever took that big step. After all, I didn't seem any better than the couples I knew, and certainly I'd been attracted to many different people, both male and female. Thats when I found this book.
This is a great read for people with feelings like mine...it gives a great account of the guidelines you need if you ever choose to enter into polyamory. Several good points are emphasized: love and sex are not necessarily the same, one may be an expression of the other but they CAN be completely separate. Love, sex and pleasure are not limited qualities people have...you can love someone else and make love to them without depriving your "primary" partner of the same feelings and actions. Drawbacks are also discussed, including time constraints, jealousy, respecting privacy and property of all your lovers, and coming out to your kids about your relationship (most actually think its pretty cool because there's always someone to talk to).
I read this book aloud with my girlfriend because we had always been curious about poly-type relationships. We asked ourselves many questions, and when we finally attended our first party, we were able to talk more afterwards and decided we loved it...and yet we could still be committed to each other! And we're still going strong...thanks to this and other wonderful resources that provided a basis for us to try new things!
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57 of 60 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 3, 1999
Format: Paperback
For years I have tried to explain many of the topices covered in this book to new couples testing the waters of the swinging lifestyle. Now I have a book that I can recommend that covers most of the areas extremely well. An additional benefit of this book is that is is written by two women in the lifestyle. Many other books written on the subject are written by men and are looked at by women readers as just another man trying to convince women to be more sexually promiscuios. The only area that I wish the authors would have spent more time on is the subject of nurturing your primary partner and relationship while introducing them to the new way of living. All in all, this is the very best book I've found concerning open relationships and swinging. I would recommend it to anyone.
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57 of 61 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 12, 1999
Format: Paperback
I don't detect an anti-male bias at all in this book and find it fairly realistic. There are some things that won't suit everyone, but it presents the wide range of possibilities. Sticky issues like coming out, family, kids, etc. are addressed, which is refreshing. It's a whole life we're talking about here, not just Saturday night. I think mono/exclusive couples could learn a lot about handling jealousy, communication skills, and conflict resolution from this book, those chapters were excellent. The etiquette and respect the authors advocate need to be taken to heart because there are a lot of rude people out there! Rudeness is a definite unschwinggg. Anyway, this book is not about playing out fairy tale or porn flick roles, but being real with real people, with communication and respect and radical yet gentle honesty. Wish I had it when I was 18!
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75 of 82 people found the following review helpful By Christopher Weaver on February 2, 2006
Format: Paperback
Although I appear to be in the minority among reviewers, I was greatly disppointed in this book. It starts out by addressing the idea that "ethical" and "slut" only appear to be contradictions and purports to guide people at reconciling the two terms--to be "polyamorous" while at the same time building a relationship of respect and caring. If it followed through on this premise, it would be a good book.

I thought it failed to deliver. It seemed to spend a lot of time patting itself on the back for being so open and for daring to suggest an alternative lifestyle. But I wouldn't have picked up the book in the first place if I weren't ready to consider (intellectually at least) alternatives to monagomy. Aside from offering fairly glib and superficial advice (don't have loud sex within hearing distance of your primary partner), it doesn't really grapple with the problems--physical, emotional, financial--that come with open relationships. I'm not saying that pursuing open relationships isn't possible. I'm saying that this book is not an honest look at the problems and difficulties that might come up in such relationships. It's less than honest, and that's a disappointment coming from someone who claims to care about ethics.
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