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The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities [Paperback]

Dossie Easton , Catherine A. Liszt
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (97 customer reviews)


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Book Description

December 1997
At last..a comprehensive, no-holds-barred guide for anyone who dreams of having all the sex and love and friendship they want. Here are all the skills you need for successful...and ethical...sluthood, from scheduling dates to handling jealousy, finding partners to resolving conflict, raising children to caring for your health. If you've ever envisioned a universe beyond traditional lifetime monogamy, this is the book for you!


Product Details

  • Paperback: 280 pages
  • Publisher: Greenery Press; 1st edition (December 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1890159018
  • ISBN-13: 978-1890159016
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (97 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #117,684 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
257 of 271 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Want multiple lovers? Read this or else! April 13, 1998
Format:Paperback
Like other reviewers, I've bought many copies of this and give or loan them out to friends, lovers, and people I'm interested in. Rather than duplicate other reviews in their glowing general praise (which would be easy), I'll go a step further and strongly suggest getting this book not because it will help you find multiple lovers or because it's a good read, or because it's full of helpful advice on relationships in general, but rather because without the advice and insight in this book polyamory is *really* hard to pull off. This book gives you many of the lessons you might not learn otherwise except by having dismal relationship failures and painful breakups. (These may still come anyway, but The Ethical Slut will help you avoid them, and cope if they happen). I can't recommend this highly enough. However, I would add the slight caveat that the somewhat hedonistic approach of Easton & Liszt can be balanced out fairly well by a follow-up reading of Anapol's Polyamory: The New 'Love Without Limits'. Anapol's work is not as "fun", and gets tediously naggy along "spirituality" lines that are very hippyish and and full of newage, but the message she conveys include a lot of responsibility and cooperation memes that are not as prevalent in Easton & Liszt's book. The two-book combo is really a must.
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217 of 229 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I've seen so many failed marriages due to infidelity that recently I began to wonder what I was in for if I ever took that big step. After all, I didn't seem any better than the couples I knew, and certainly I'd been attracted to many different people, both male and female. Thats when I found this book.

This is a great read for people with feelings like mine...it gives a great account of the guidelines you need if you ever choose to enter into polyamory. Several good points are emphasized: love and sex are not necessarily the same, one may be an expression of the other but they CAN be completely separate. Love, sex and pleasure are not limited qualities people have...you can love someone else and make love to them without depriving your "primary" partner of the same feelings and actions. Drawbacks are also discussed, including time constraints, jealousy, respecting privacy and property of all your lovers, and coming out to your kids about your relationship (most actually think its pretty cool because there's always someone to talk to).

I read this book aloud with my girlfriend because we had always been curious about poly-type relationships. We asked ourselves many questions, and when we finally attended our first party, we were able to talk more afterwards and decided we loved it...and yet we could still be committed to each other! And we're still going strong...thanks to this and other wonderful resources that provided a basis for us to try new things!

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56 of 58 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
For years I have tried to explain many of the topices covered in this book to new couples testing the waters of the swinging lifestyle. Now I have a book that I can recommend that covers most of the areas extremely well. An additional benefit of this book is that is is written by two women in the lifestyle. Many other books written on the subject are written by men and are looked at by women readers as just another man trying to convince women to be more sexually promiscuios. The only area that I wish the authors would have spent more time on is the subject of nurturing your primary partner and relationship while introducing them to the new way of living. All in all, this is the very best book I've found concerning open relationships and swinging. I would recommend it to anyone.
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55 of 58 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Makin' it real! May 12, 1999
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I don't detect an anti-male bias at all in this book and find it fairly realistic. There are some things that won't suit everyone, but it presents the wide range of possibilities. Sticky issues like coming out, family, kids, etc. are addressed, which is refreshing. It's a whole life we're talking about here, not just Saturday night. I think mono/exclusive couples could learn a lot about handling jealousy, communication skills, and conflict resolution from this book, those chapters were excellent. The etiquette and respect the authors advocate need to be taken to heart because there are a lot of rude people out there! Rudeness is a definite unschwinggg. Anyway, this book is not about playing out fairy tale or porn flick roles, but being real with real people, with communication and respect and radical yet gentle honesty. Wish I had it when I was 18!
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69 of 75 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Not only does this book confirm that there are other people who don't believe that monogamy is the ideal, but it explains how they survive in a world that doesn't agree. It even offers helpful hints to consider, whether it is your first time or your fiftieth. It details how rational and happy alternative relationships can be in a way that is non-threatening.

I read it twice, with a highlighter! I even bought copies for all my friends who could never understand what I was talking about before. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is or knows someone who is involved in or curious about non-monogamy.

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58 of 64 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Something less than honest February 2, 2006
Format:Paperback
Although I appear to be in the minority among reviewers, I was greatly disppointed in this book. It starts out by addressing the idea that "ethical" and "slut" only appear to be contradictions and purports to guide people at reconciling the two terms--to be "polyamorous" while at the same time building a relationship of respect and caring. If it followed through on this premise, it would be a good book.

I thought it failed to deliver. It seemed to spend a lot of time patting itself on the back for being so open and for daring to suggest an alternative lifestyle. But I wouldn't have picked up the book in the first place if I weren't ready to consider (intellectually at least) alternatives to monagomy. Aside from offering fairly glib and superficial advice (don't have loud sex within hearing distance of your primary partner), it doesn't really grapple with the problems--physical, emotional, financial--that come with open relationships. I'm not saying that pursuing open relationships isn't possible. I'm saying that this book is not an honest look at the problems and difficulties that might come up in such relationships. It's less than honest, and that's a disappointment coming from someone who claims to care about ethics.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent for Communication
[...]

While working on a college campus, this is the book that I had to repurchase every year (if not semester) as mine would "go missing. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Jessica Pettitt
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read
I can't even count how many people I've recommended this book to. I am involved in a poly relationship- with my primary partner for 8 years, married 2. Read more
Published 2 months ago by M McDonnell
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book
This book is indeed a practical guide as it sets out to be. The introduction to different ways of relating is mind expanding.
Published 3 months ago by ReedIII
5.0 out of 5 stars I love slutty sluts :)
I absolutely love this book! It's very informative and gives a great overview of the different way of the poly lifestyle. I love how it empowers women who enjoy sex and love. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Shandi
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book
The monogamous married life is not for everyone. The authors are not advocating a life free of morals and values. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Angie
4.0 out of 5 stars Very good book!
Read this book with an open mind. It gives such great detail about expectations and gives helpful guide lines regarding any aspect that a relationship might come across and great... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Allison
4.0 out of 5 stars Practical, occasionally humorous and often though-provoking.
I enjoyed this book and found some of the lists and advice helpful and the anecdotes were interesting and sometimes funny. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Lea Woodard
5.0 out of 5 stars An eye opener
This is a fantastic book. It's well-written and covers the fundamentals of polyamory as well as some of the deeper, more advanced aspects of the potential growing pains that... Read more
Published 17 months ago by Mick B
4.0 out of 5 stars It's a start
First book I've ever that really explained ethical non-monogamy. I can't say it was a anymore then a four because I never felt like it was written for me. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Gary
5.0 out of 5 stars Learning Ethical Sluttery
A hands-on guide to living a life full of sex, love and intimate friendship: it's the best instruction manual, not just for people interested in polyamory, but for people who enjoy... Read more
Published on June 16, 2010 by C. Ankney
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