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The Father Factor: How Your Father's Legacy Impacts Your Career Paperback – May 2, 2006


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The Father Factor: How Your Father's Legacy Impacts Your Career + The Mother Factor: How Your Mother's Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life + Your Ex-Factor: Overcome Heartbreak and Build a Better Life
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 239 pages
  • Publisher: Prometheus Books (May 2, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1591024102
  • ISBN-13: 978-1591024101
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,546,065 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Aimed at both men and women, Poulter's insightful guide looks at the lasting influence of your father's parenting style on your career direction and development as well as professional relationships. Still, clinical psychiatrist Poulter (Father Your Son) insists, "You hold the keys to your future, not your father." Beginning with an analysis of why your father has an impact on what you do and how you do it, Poulter outlines five major father types, including the "Superachiever," "Time Bomb," "Passive," "Absent" and "Compassionate/Mentor." The author provides questionnaires for identifying your father's type and addresses how to counteract his potentially negative impact. Poulter considers telltale signs that you may have adopted your father's management strategies and offers counsel on being more introspective about your own behavior toward people in authority at work and even in your personal life. This book contains helpful advice for any professional who has had a difficult relationship with his or her father and wants to avoid a repetitive legacy. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Whether your career is skyrocketing or stagnating, it may be less your doing than you realize. Clinical psychologist Poulter makes the case that even for people many decades past adolescence, their paternal relationship still shapes how they deal with bosses, clients and colleagues—either creating confidence or fostering frustration. Poulter's self-diagnostic questionnaires let readers locate their own dads' parenting style on a scale ranging from 'Compassionate/Mentor' to 'Time Bomb,' while case studies show how to overcome the counterproductive patterns these legacies can leave. Hardheaded types may scoff, but it's still a thought-provoking exercise for even the most self-made man—or woman."
Newsweek

"A marvelous handbook which should be mandatory reading for all.... could transfrom a dysfunctional society into a smart, confident, thoughtful people who could actually work and live in harmony with respect and consideration for others. Kudos to Dr. Poulter for his insightful work."
Gordon Binder
Founder/CEO, Amgen Corporation

Customer Reviews

In general, I tend to be skeptical about self-help books but this one was worth every dime and more.
F. Drago
Action steps are laid out to healing whatever emotional legacy you may have from your dad's fathering style.
J. Steven Svoboda
The next step is to figure out a way to change these rules to ones that will help you in your career.
Haseeb

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Eva Sophia on July 3, 2006
Format: Paperback
This is a WOW of a book. Fathers are the stereotypical breadwinners in the household. How are father's careers evolve infuence how ours do as well. We become our parents patterns if we are not careful. For women, this is especially poignant, and for those of us whose fathers demanded results-oriented performance .... looking back ... it really was a blessing in disguise. Kudos to all the men who pushed their daughters to succeed and fobade them to date in childhood.

This is further evidence that the phrase "the apple does not fall far from the tree" has truth to it. Although we can't blame our parents forever, being in denial is equally disempowering. By the time we are five years old a good 90% of our personalities are formed based on our observations of mom and dad, our genetic tendencies of temperament, and imprinted memories of childhood already experienced thus far. People are a product of their DNA and upbringing. While our DNA is beyond our control, the negative behavior patterns of our primary caregivers and their impact on us as adults is something we can address. Fathers teach children how to operate in the world of work, handle authority, and problem solve while managing emotions. If we are imprinted by a paternal role model that does not serve our career interests then we have the choice as adults to "overwrite" the program. It doesn't happen overnight but recovering from the effects will happen once the problem is isolated and then addressed properly. One key factor is to not do this alone. Friends are great but this kind of emotional disconnection requires professional assistance. One program that has been known to accomplish this is The Hoffman Process which calls such experiences of parental imprinting and modeling "the Negative Love Syndrome". And the way to disconnect does lie in empathy and forgiveness AFTER healing through the pain of a negative pattern legacy in the first place.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Midwest Book Review on September 9, 2006
Format: Paperback
The Father Factor: How Your Father's Legacy Impacts Your Career comes from a psychologist who maintains the influence of a father is key to understanding choices and roadblocks in a career. Both positive and negative impacts are surveyed, from a passive or absent father's influence to understanding how destructive messages translate into workforce action or inaction. The 'what you can do about it' section is critical for change and a successful career approach.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Thera on February 20, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a very intense book requiring a lot of self honesty and much self reflection. However, I highly recommend it for any man or woman who experiences a lot of anger and frustration related to career and "father" issues that they just can't resolve.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By F. Drago on January 28, 2008
Format: Paperback
This book is written by an extremely knowledgable professional. In general, I tend to be skeptical about self-help books but this one was worth every dime and more. I felt that I was receiving quality phychotherapy, which I could partake of at my own rate of comprehension. While it's true that a portion of its content is clinical--maybe a tad dry--the bulk of it is engaging and illuminating. The advice, checklists and exercises are extremely valuable. If you are open to this man's message, able to think critically about your behavior and its influences, and motivated enough to change by doing the difficult work herein, then this book will help you. For me, it was validation. It was the first, and most important, step toward healing and reform. It took me several months to read it because I re-read a lot of material, using it more as a textbook. Not only did I recognize myself in its pages but also many other types of my coworkers. This book increased my awareness and understanding of why people do the dysfunctional things they do, thus increasing my empathy and sympathy and, inevitably, my productivity and progress.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Haseeb on September 23, 2008
Format: Paperback
I thouroughly enjoyed this book and highly recommend it. I also read and studied "The Mother Factor". Both of these books should be used in conjunction with each other for the best results.

This book will help you overcome the career problems instilled in you from the way your father raised you. The first step is to be aware of the things written in your father factor "rule book". The next step is to figure out a way to change these rules to ones that will help you in your career. If you go on denying that the problems encountered in your career have anything to do with the way your father raised you, then you will run into more problems changing the pattern than you would otherwise. The book points out that denial is a way of allowing your father factor rules to creep up on you and sabotage your career. Most of us try to solve our problems by cutting the "branches and stems" instead of the roots, hence allowing our problems to crop up all over the place. By studying this book and following the author's advice however, you will not likely be blind-sided by those unwritten father factor "rules".
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Learning New Ways on March 9, 2012
Format: Paperback
I agree with other reviewers that this is a very good book. Anyone over the age of 35-40 will likely find it very helpful.

My only reservation is that with people younger than that, they may have grown up in less sexist homes and in a less sexist culture and some of the archetype fathers he identifies may not be such a good fit. This is a good thing, though. Books like this are really helping us all move on from bad daddery.

Something like 49% of married couples with minor children in the US now share child care equally (according to sociologist Stephanie Coontz). And women are between 45-55% of the workforce. So sexist homes are rapidly becoming a thing of the past, even if we are still ridding our individual and collective subconsciouses (or the culture) of residual toxicity like the issues this book addresses so well.
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