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The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in all Your Relationships Paperback – January 1, 2008

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Shows how a good adaptation of a classic can speak to the present age. --AudioFile --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Book Description

Just as you have a different love language, you also hear and express the words and gestures of apology in a different language. New York Times bestselling author Gary Chapman has teamed up with counselor Jennifer Thomas on this groundbreaking study of the way we apologize, discovering that it's not just a matter of will--it's a matter of how. By helping people identify the languages of apology, this book clears the way toward healing and sustaining vital relationships. The authors detail proven techniques for giving and receiving effective apologies. First time in paperback.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Northfield Publishing (January 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1881273792
  • ISBN-13: 978-1881273790
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.8 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (179 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #76,319 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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229 of 237 people found the following review helpful By M. E. Shores on October 9, 2006
Format: Hardcover
The first thing I had to do when I received my copy of The Five Languages of Apology was to take The Apology Language Profile in the back of the book. I approached it in the happy, fun way I used to look at surveys in women's magazines until the very first question stopped me dead in my tracks. Since it was about how a spouse should apologize for failing to acknowledge a wedding anniversary, it hit home right away. I knew this was going to be a serious book and that it would bring up some very raw emotions. My husband had recently intended to acknowledge our anniversary with a beautiful gift, but it was stolen from his car before he had the chance, and nothing more was said or done about it. Even though I knew my husband was not to blame, I needed someone to take responsibility and there was no one to do that thus creating an unresolved issue we would eventually work through. As I read more of the questions, I experienced emotions ranging from sadness to anger and by the end of it I realized that very few people had ever apologized to me at all let alone took the time to figure out my apology language! It made perfect sense to me that my preferred apology language is accepting responsibility, since people who come from dsyfunctional homes often long for someone to own up to what he or she has done or said, and because this rarely happens, communication becomes distorted. In the midst of my own issues this book was addressing, I was comforted by the words Chapman and Thomas used to lead me from feeling very alone and rejected because of the lack of apologies given to me, to experiencing some healing and closure due to the new understanding I have been given. I have also become much more aware of the apologies I see in movies and in my relationships with friends. I do believe that if we could get to the point of being willing to apologize, even if we have to stumble through it at first, we would broaden our ability to truly love one another.
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58 of 59 people found the following review helpful By Brenda Nixon on January 14, 2007
Format: Hardcover
Since I read The Five Love Languages of Children, I knew The Five Languages of Apology would be just as thoroughly insightful. Who couldn't use some help enhancing relationships? The authors provide various examples, stories, and questions without making the reader feel criticized or reprimanded. For me, page 88, "statements of genuine repentance" was practical. Chapter 14, Apologizing to Yourself is thought-provoking. The authors also emphasize that apologizing is a choice as is forgiveness.

According to the authors, the "art of apology" needs to be learned in childhood. When appropriate, parents need to apologize to their children - it's a way of taking responsibility for one's behavior. Since parents are the first and most influential teachers, we teach kids to apologize by doing so ourselves. It's not a sign of weakness to apologize - but of maturity and accountability.

Chapter 15, "What If We All Learned to Apologize Effectively?" is summed up with, "Fewer people would turn to drugs and alcohol in an effort to find escape from broken relationships. And fewer people would live on the streets of America."

Keep this book on your shelf or bedside table as a quick and useful resource for the relationship challenges in daily life.

Now, I'd like to see these authors write a book on how to confront effectively.

~ Brenda Nixon, Author of Parenting Power in the Early Years and The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start
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45 of 47 people found the following review helpful By Bill R. Moore on April 19, 2010
Format: Paperback
This magnificent compilation has three Plato writings: "Apology," "Crito," and "Phaedo." Though apparently early works and not as complex or philosophically influential as later ones, they are immensely important in portraying Socrates' trial and death. They are our clearest picture of the historical Socrates and would be invaluable for this alone. Indeed, I have read hundreds - perhaps thousands - of books, and this is one of my ten or so favorites, mostly because of how moving the depiction of the great man's last days is. The story of Socrates' Apology and last moments is part of world literature's very fabric, an immortal part of Western cultural heritage. Anyone who wants to learn about Socrates should start here. However, the works have great value even aside from this; a few have indeed questioned their historical veracity. This does not affect their philosophical, literary, and political worth, which is of the highest, making the book doubly essential.

"Apology" is Plato's least philosophical and most unrepresentative work but arguably his most important and is among many readers' favorites, including mine. The book's title is misleading in that this is prose rather than dialogue; it purports to be Socrates' self-defense at his trial. It is historically priceless if so, as it gives his last public statements and some background about his life and the lead up to the trial. Even if not, it is of immense worth as a passionate, sound defense of individualism and free speech; its timeless evocation of these all-important concepts is forever associated with Socrates and the main reason he has been immortalized. The work also piercingly examines the often vast law/conscience gap and is thus an early higher law document.
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43 of 45 people found the following review helpful By David R. Bess VINE VOICE on June 11, 2007
Format: Hardcover
This book is one of the better installments in the "Five Love Languages" series of Gary Chapman. Having read the original Five Love Languages title and a few of the follow-ups, this one provides the most additional fresh material to the initial volume. Being able to communicate a sincere apology is an increasingly needed skill in today's age of dodging responsibility and laying blame on others. Chapman and Thomas do a good job in providing the reader insight as to how to apologize in five different styles, depending upon the recipient's personality or "apology language." Included with the book are an apology profile and a group study guide. For anyone wanting truly to make amends in a fractured relationship, this volume is a good place to start.
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