Most helpful positive review
99 of 102 people found the following review helpful
A MUST read to strengthen friendships!!!
on September 27, 2001
I believe that if the entire world read this book we would be a happier, healthier, friendlier, more supportive, more understanding and a more tolerant planet. I think this book should be required reading in schools!
This book is as applicable today as it was when it was written over 20 years ago. Maybe even more so. Even if you think you have the right approach to people and relationships and even if you feel all your relationships are healthy... you could learn from this book. I guarantee there are things in this book that you have not thought of.
I love this book and I highly recommend it because I believe it will benefit you and make you a better person. It had a great impact on me. I intend to read it annually.
The author gives ideas on how to deepen friendships. These include: 1) Assign top priority to your relationships 2)Dare to talk about affection 3)Learn the gesturs of love (i.e appreciating someone offering help and graciously accepting this help) AND 4) CREATE SPACE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP (in other words don't CONTROL, don't strangle ~ let them grow and breathe!!!
The author also gives pointers on cultivating intimacy. He suggests that you 1) Be liberal with praise 2) Learn to LISTEN (such as asking questions the other will enjoy answering, get the other to talk about themselves and dispensing advice SPARINGLY) 3) Use your body to demonstrate warmth AND 4) Talk freely about your feelings (Dare to need the other person and let them feel that and benefit from it)
A quote from the book that I especially like is: "Don't stop expressing needs because of occasional disappointment - you'll end up bedding down with disappointment as your constant companion."
You will also find ideas on how to handle negative feelings w/o destroying the relationship; how to disagree and understand at the same time and alternative methods of ventilating your anger.
Another quote I appreciate: "If you dish it out - you have to take it" !!!!!
Other interesting subjects in this book are: 1) The art of creative forgiveness 2) Eros - It's power and problems and 3) Loyalty, an essential ingredient.
The author writes in an easy to read fashion and backs up his suggestions and ideas with many quotes from people far and near, young and old and from other books. If you have not read this book yet... do so now. I suspect that you will find it as wonderful and helpful as I did. You and your relationships will be the better for it.
What is better in this world than people and healthy relationships with them. These are the things that matter. All else is dust in the wind.