Had enough of that bridezilla? Feeling alone in a new city? Dealing with the trauma of the worst breakup ever—with someone you never even made out with?
We’ve heard the path to fulfillment has much to do with relationships. But while it’s often thought that for young women, it's all about finding the right man, real women beg to differ: It's friendships that are at the heart of happiness. Unfortunately, they’re also at the heart of drama, stress, and sometimes not-so-great escapades after that fifth martini. And, technology, from texting to Facebook, has made all friendships more complicated than ever.
At last comes The Friendship Fix, jam-packed with practical ways to improve your life by improving your circle. From dealing with friends-with-benefits to coworkers from the dark side, from feeling alone to being desperate to defriend a few dozen people, Andrea Bonior, Ph.D. helps you make the most of your friendships, whether they be old, new, online, or in person.
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"This book is awesome... because I'm in it. And because I sort of apologize to everyone in the two pages I'm in. So if you're sort of mad at me, you should probably buy this book. Or buy it if you aren't mad at me." --The Bloggess
"In her debut, Bonior (Psychology/Georgetown Univ.) dispenses smart advice, flush with wit and sarcasm, aimed at women grappling with their relationships. Not only does she embrace and trumpet the importance of friendship, the author also offers relevant ideas and non-silly steps to put yourself out there and start creating new friendships.... An overdone topic taken from clinical to fabulous."--Kirkus Reviews
“If you're one of those people who let your friendships fizzle after your twenties--or if you're still clinging for dear life to friendships that no longer serve you--I prescribe The Friendship Fix as the cure for what's keeping you from your true BFF's. Many of us build our families from the friendships we create as young women, but how can we create sustainable, healthy, authentic, lasting connections with the girls who have got our back? Trust Andrea Bonior to help you choose your friends mindfully, prioritize relationships that bring out the best in you, and build the foundation for a lifetime of rich, fulfilling sisterhood. If I'd had just such a guide when I was younger, it might not have taken me until my forties to learn how to be and attract the kind of friend I've always desired.”--Lissa Rankin, MD, author of What's Up Down There? Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend and founder of OwningPink.com
“Andrea Bonior has written the definitive guide to satisfying friendships for 20 and 30-somethings. Her advice tunes right in to the newest friendship issues (online and off) in this complex world.”--Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends
"Written in a breezy and accessible style, The Friendship Fix is chock full of invaluable advice and wisdom. Dr. Andrea Bonior addresses all the complex friendship dilemmas women are likely to encounter in their 20s and 30s and lays out practical strategies to avoid or resolve them."--Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend
A clinical psychologist cleanly dissects friendships in a surprisingly entertaining manner.In her debut, Bonior (Psychology/Georgetown Univ.) dispenses smart advice, flush with wit and sarcasm, aimed at women grappling with their relationships. Not only does she embrace and trumpet the importance of friendship, the author also offers relevant ideas and non-silly steps to put yourself out there and start creating new friendships. Bonior covers every type of friendship from childhood to college to adult, and from casual acquaintance to Facebook friend to co-worker. Her book will help readers patiently wade through their BFFs getting married, moving away and/or having children while they're still sitting home alone eating ice cream out of the carton. Girlfriends are reminded when to receive, when to give, when to support and when to shut up. Much of the content, to be sure, is what readers will already have been taught or learned and maybe even tried before, but there's nothing like a gen (Kirkus Reviews)
About the Author
Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of the popular weekly mental health column “Baggage Check” in the Washington Post Express. Her expertise has appeared in such places as CNN.com, MSNBC.com, and Good Housekeeping. In addition to maintaining a private psychotherapy practice, Andrea serves on the faculty of Georgetown University. She lives with her family in Maryland.
Andrea Bonior is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor, and writer. For more than six years, Dr. Bonior has written the weekly mental health advice column "Baggage Check," well known for its frequent wit and pop culture references, for the Washington Post's Express newspaper. Frequently cited in other media, her expertise has most recently appeared in The New York Times, NPR, CNN.com, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Self, MSNBC.com, Yahoo!, Jezebel.com, Good Housekeeping, and Voice of America. She blogs for the Huffington Post, is a featured expert on Brooke Burke's ModernMom.com, writes Psychology Today's "Friendship 2.0" blog, and makes regular appearances on Washington, DC's "Let's Talk Live" and in the Washington Post's Celebritology blog, providing a psychological perspective on current events and the world of Hollywood. In addition to serving on the adjunct faculty of Georgetown University, Dr. Bonior maintains a private practice.
What is a good friend? I think we all know when we have one, but why can't we ever figure out the ones that just don't seem to be quite right? While written for the younger crowd, this book can be a great resource for people of any age (I'm 60). Friendships span the whole relationship gamut and it is nice to know that there are some dos and don'ts that make sense and make life make more sense. Written with humor, in a breezy style, it is clear that the author is a skilled psychologist and can impart her wisdom while not sounding preachy or typically "self-help". --Cathy
"The Friendship Fix" came at the perfect time in my life, as my college and early-20s friendships are changing and evolving as we all deal with major life changes: marriage, babies, demanding jobs, moves, etc. I loved the chapters on navigating friendships as these changes occur as well as the advice on how to evaluate your friendships to see if they're actually adding positive value to your life.
As a mom to a 4 year old who works full time and doesn't have a ton of time to get everything in my daily life accomplished--much less put effort into seeking new friendships--I appreciated the reminder that seeking out quality friendships is another important way of taking care of yourself. The book inspired me to reach out to some new potential friends and work on my friendships like I would any other aspect of my life.
I was familiar with Andrea Bonior through the Washington Post Express and after my wife read the book, I picked it up. While it is mostly geared toward the friendships and relationships that women have with one another, I found quite a bit of her advice rings true for men as well. She has a very easy style that comes off as helpful and authoritative at the same time and yet never seems judgy and is very grounded in the real world. I think that's because she uses real world examples to apply her advice and doesn't go for some sort of "problem solver" gimmick like just about every other self-help book out there. It's refreshing and fun and I definitely recommend it.
I got this book from the library to see if it was worth purchasing a copy, and can now say I'm glad I didn't spend the money to purchase it. While the writing style is cute and witty (the numerous pop culture references will be outdated very quickly, though), the content is nothing that common sense wouldn't already tell you. I was hoping to find some useful tips for expanding my social circles -- which the author does note is difficult to do once you're out of college. Unfortunately, the book spends very little time covering this topic. Most of it seems to be on how to carefully cultivate the friends you already have and how to decide when to get rid of them. For those looking for tips beyond the obvious, you'll need to keep looking.
I love this book! It's informative, interesting and gives great real-world advice about navigating, making new and ending friendships. The writing style is fun and interesting. It's engaging for sure (I would never call this book dry or boring). So I highly recommend it for a fun, informative and interesting read about friendships. I feel like much of it is logic but also much of the content, people don't often think of these things. Many moments reading the book I had were "Yes, that totally makes sense" moments. Something I sort of knew in the back of my mind, but maybe didnt generally think about.
The ONLY reason I didnt give it 5 stars is the cover art. I feel like this book is just as applicable to men as it is to women. And I feel that the nature of the cover art (the pink and the female on the front) would detract most men from buying this book (unless their wife or girlfriend already owned it, then maybe they would pick it up, but even then I am not so sure).
Therefore, I would give the content of the book itself a 5 and highly recommend it! But I think its such a good book that men should be reading it too. And sadly, I think due to the cover art, most men will not pick this book up which is really too bad, because I think they would enjoy it and benefit from it just as much as women :-)
"It can sometimes seem...that we're on the lookout for perfect people. But if you think about it, if we picked only perfect people as friends, who'd be picking us?"
Great quote from a great book about friendship. I've always loved Dr. Bonior's "Baggage Check" column and her book provides even more sound advice. The "frenemy" and "what not to say to someone who's had a loss" sections both struck a chord in me. Witty and fun, but above all practical and brilliant psychological advice. I guarantee she'll have an answer to a friend question you've always been asking yourself.
Making new friends is tough -- and maintaining them can be even tougher. From the perspective of a shy, and socially anxious, person (there's a difference!), "The Friendship Fix" is exactly what I needed: clear, actionable guidelines for friendship development and management. Dr. Bonior even suggests phrasings for handling fear-inducing situations: friend breakups, for sure, but also reaching out to someone you don't know, but would like to.
You can't pick your blood family, but you can pick your friend family. This book will tell you how, no matter what your hesitations or fears. It's a must-read for the isolated ... it's really a must-read for everyone with BFFs, whether they're Best Friends Forever or Bearable Frenemies For Now.
Also, the cover's pink, but the advice is gender-agnostic. Just buy the Kindle version if you're a dude ... no one will ever know!
