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The Future According To Me (Kindle Single) [Kindle Edition]

Rob Kutner
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $0.99
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  • Length: 20 pages (estimated)
  • Prime members can borrow this book and read it on their devices with Kindle Owners Lending Library.
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Kindle Singles
Kindle Singles
Each Kindle Single presents a compelling idea--well researched, well argued, and well illustrated--expressed at its natural length. Visit the Kindle Singles Store or subscribe to Singled Out: The Best of Kindle Singles.

Book Description

Hipster aliens! Existentially aware Smart Toilets! Instant genital swapping! The future will be all of these things and so much more, in Conan/Daily Show writer Rob Kutner's collection of "quick hits" on what could be, but probably shouldn't.

Includes NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN primary source documents like
- The official memo of the triumphant Jewish/Gay/Lizard-People conspiracy
- The diary of a time-travelling garbageman
- The unearthed prophecies of the great Seusstrodamus

Read this book, and you are GUARANTEED to start traveling into the future.

Editorial Reviews Review

Imagine a future where a virus wipes out all humans except those with Attention Deficit Disorder. That's just one of 35 future scenarios that Rob Kutner invents and explores in The Future According to Me.This compilation is brimming with ironic, absurd, and downright bizarre one-page descriptions of possible futures. Inside, readers will find immortal baby boomers (forever with us and always playing '60s music), a new form of onanism that creates an unplanned self-pregnancy crisis, and even intelligent zombies who scheme and plan. The short sketches are reminiscent of futures that Kurt Vonnegut, or his character Kilgore Trout, might have explored in depth. In some of Kutner's vignettes, our desires and wants, deeply pursued by science, create fatuous or insufferable prospects. In others, we're given a glimpse into a random person's life, such as a journal entry from the man who cleans up trash left by time travelers. A testament to a deeply creative mind, The Future According to Me defies categorization and will find a place among those who love pondering questions that begin: “What if …?” --Paul Diamond

Product Details

  • File Size: 182 KB
  • Print Length: 20 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #334,409 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
3.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
16 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great future satire microfictions July 20, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Several dozen short-burst views of the future emerge like little strange worlds, making the 20 pages or so last far more than standard fiction. Kutner's got humor chops, but he also blends some Vonnegut, Italo Calvino, and They Might Be Giants-style aesthetics in here, too. Great stuff, and well worth a buck.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant! July 19, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This was my first kindle single and also my first real read from this author. Found out about this through following him on twitter. I must confess, as soon as I downloaded this I sat and read it in its entirety before I could put down my phone (where I have my kindle app). Witty and just the type of humor I enjoy. I know I'll be re-reading this one and recommending to friends family and co-workers. Here's hoping he writes another soon! Well worth the 99 cents. What are you waiting for, go read it now! It will make you smile, and maybe stop to consider which one of these creatively imagined futures you think may come true. (One of my favourites - because I was most scared of it - was the future concerning hipster aliens!)
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Future-tastic July 20, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
"Apocolypse How" author Rob Kutner goes back to the future (see what I did there?) with this short book of bite-size predictions, oracular visions, and absurd preposterousnesses. Download it right quick-like, sneak your kindle and/or kindle-enabled device into the office bathroom, and make your co-workers wonder (and fear) what all the stall-giggling is about.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious! July 20, 2011
By Raychel
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I got this book last night and it had me laughing from the introduction! Its several short stories/theories with a funny spin. The book is awesome, but what else would we expect from the author of Apocalypse How?! It's worth way more than 99 cents. Do yourself a favor and read.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Value far exceeds the price! July 20, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
I highly recommend this glimse into the future of our kind. This hilarious book, takes a short time to read, but will have you thinking (and smiling) for hours after your done. The perfect book for a future filled with A.D.D. sufferers. Shell out the .99, it's more than worth it.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious in a different way October 21, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Totally my kind of humor. Not laugh out loud comedy, ,more witty satire and weird sarcasm. I'll now be looking for everything else this guy has ever done.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny & Thoughtful August 3, 2011
By c-ste
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Not only is this very amusing, but there are some genuinely thought-provoking moments as well. It's perfect commuting reading, as you can dip in and out, but just as easy to read before bed as well - I did both. I must admit, I got a few looks on the subway when laughing a bit too loudly at times, but the glances were worth it and, as others have noted, it's easily worth 1/14 trillionth of the US national debt - I would even go so far as to say it's worth 1/13999(recurring) trillionth of the national debt. And that's saying something.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious! August 1, 2011
By Joe
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I loved reading every bit of this book! It takes a really clever and funny author to make me laugh at written words, but Kutner greatly succeeds here. The Future According To Me is hilarious from start to finish, and is well worth every penny.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars Don't bother unless you love gutter humor
I was looking for humor. All I truly found was a mild smile once in a blue moon and a lot of salacious language and innuendo.
Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
Published 3 months ago by Phyllis Inman
2.0 out of 5 stars futuristic gobbledygook
Some ideas were interesting but I felt that sometimes the point was lost by the use of too much language
Published 4 months ago by Megan Bennetts
5.0 out of 5 stars Frightening dystopia
The author gives a view of future so bleak that critics will soon be using the term Kutneresque to describe all post apocalyptic hellscapes.
Published 16 months ago by Barnaby Luke Camp
3.0 out of 5 stars Weird....
Weird....but once I started reading...I couldn't seem to put it down. It was ok, not one I would have liked to have purchased.
Published 16 months ago by fred
1.0 out of 5 stars not entertaining at all
I thought it would be funny or at least thought provoking. Big disappointment. More like a junior high English assignment.
Published 19 months ago by sa
4.0 out of 5 stars The Future According To Me...
This Kindle single is just a few pages long but it's pretty funny. It's the author's ideas of several possible future scenarios that could happen to humanity. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Carla Moore
5.0 out of 5 stars Different
I claim to be a writer and got many thoughts and ideas from this book! As I said above, it's different. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Avid Reader
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Read, very funny!
I couldn't put it down. Lots to think about in these short stories. A lot of them stayed with me after I finished reading them. Great insights into humanity.
Published 23 months ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Plenty of goofy humor!
Witty and funny; I can see a few of the future scenarios coming to pass -- namely the one where the world overreacts to global warming and the scenario where genitalia swapping is... Read more
Published on February 28, 2013 by Dewey Black
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