Start reading The Gaggle: How to Find Love in the Post-Dating World on the free Kindle Reading App or on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Add Audible Narration
Enter a promotion code
or gift card

Try it free

Sample the beginning of this book for free

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Image not available

The Gaggle: How to Find Love in the Post-Dating World [Kindle Edition]

Jessica Massa
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $14.99
Kindle Price: $8.99
You Save: $6.00 (40%)
Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc
This price was set by the publisher

Free Kindle Reading App Anybody can read Kindle books—even without a Kindle device—with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones, tablets and computers.

To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.

Audible Narration

Switch back and forth between reading the Kindle book and listening to the Audible narration with Whispersync for Voice. Add narration for a reduced price of $12.99 when you buy the Kindle book.


Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition $8.99  
Hardcover --  
Paperback $14.80  
Audible Audio Edition, Unabridged $0.00 Free with Audible trial
Kindle Delivers
Kindle Delivers
Subscribe to the Kindle Delivers monthly e-mail to find out about each month's Kindle book deals, new releases, editors' picks and more. Learn more (U.S. customers only)

Book Description

Who cares if he’s just not that into you? You’ve got a gaggle.

It’s easy to feel like your love life is nonexistent. You know you’re great, so why haven’t you been on a classic dinner-and-a-movie date since . . . well, forever? Because as it turns out, you are now living in a post-dating world, where the old rules for sex and relationships no longer apply. Suddenly, everything and nothing is a date. But this means that you have much more going on in your love life than you realize.

Think about all the ambiguous interactions you have with guys: from a brainstorming session with a coworker, to a drink with an old friend, to a late night Skype session with an ex who’s still in your life. Once you open your eyes, you’ll see that you’re already exploring all sorts of connections with the men in your life via these non-dates. And who are all these guys you’re non-dating?

Say hello to your gaggle.

The gaggle is the group of guys in your life who play different roles, fulfill different needs, and help you figure out who you are, what you want, and what kind of relationship you ultimately desire. Though no two gaggles are alike, there are ten types of men a gaggle might include, such as the Ego Booster, the Hot Sex Prospect, and the Boyfriend Prospect. Romance, excitement, self-discovery, love . . . all this will be yours, once you stop stressing about dates, labels, and expectations and start thinking of each man you know and meet as a potential guy in your gaggle.

In this clever and groundbreaking debut, based on interviews with women and men across the country, Jessica Massa reveals the ways in which the potential for love is all around you. The Gaggle is the ultimate guide to figuring out what you want—and finding your match—in a world that has left traditional dating behind.

Editorial Reviews


Jess Massa and [Gaggle co-creator] Rebecca Wiegand are…poster girls for modern-day dating.” (Entertainment Weekly)

"Dating sucks. We all agree, it’s a job interview. It’s the worst thing ever…That’s why the gaggle is important…Guys are equally confused by the dating process, if not more…I think it’s wonderful.” (Patrick Meagher, Cocktails with Patrick Cosmo Radio)

“Every woman needs a gaggle of guys to fill different roles in her life. I do believe that! Yes, I do!” (Lara Spencer Good Afternoon America)

About the Author

Jessica Massa graduated magna cum laude from Harvard with a degree in psychology. Her work and opinions have been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Variety,, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, and the UK’s Men’s Health and She lives in Brooklyn.
Jessica and her best friend-turned-business partner Rebecca Wiegand coined the gaggle concept, which has been optioned for film by New Line Cinema. Jessica and Rebecca are the proprietors of the post-dating website WTF Is Up With My Love Life?! ( In April 2010, they co-founded J&R Creative Media to develop WTF?!, as well as other multimedia projects. A graduate of Yale, Rebecca also lives in Brooklyn.

Product Details

  • File Size: 641 KB
  • Print Length: 290 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1451657528
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster (June 12, 2012)
  • Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005GG0NBY
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #509,475 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5 stars
Share your thoughts with other customers
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not Bad August 21, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Posted on Romancing the BOok's blog
Reviewed by Marissa
Review Copy PRovided by the Publisher

I admit, it was the title that caught my attention. Since I have many men in my life - who I am not romantically involved with - I thought, "Why not read it and find out how all these men can help me?" Not quite how it works though.

Turns out that your Gaggle is made up of men who have the possibility of being romantic interests. There are ten types of men who can end up in your Gaggle, and each of those must appear attractive in one way or another. Not superficially attractive but attractive to you, whether it's because he's intelligent, fun, or a great storyteller.

So. Back to my (lack of a) romantic life. In viewing the possibilities for my Gaggle, I find I have The Super Horny Guy Who Happens to Be Around a Lot, The Guy Who Just Blew You Off, The Unavailable Guy, and The Ex-Boyfriend Who's Still Around. Hmmmm... Not looking too good here. But the beauty of a Gaggle is that by using each of the men in yours, you can increase your Gaggle. For instance, let's say The Guy Who Just Blew You Off brings a friend to your next softball game and you two hit it off. Bingo! The Boyfriend Prospect! Or maybe he's The Hot Sex Prospect. Wherever he falls, you've filled another place in your Gaggle.

And it doesn't stop there. Each member of your Gaggle has the potential to turn into The Boyfriend Prospect. Let's say you have a good connection with your Accessory (he's the guy you call when you need a plus-one for that business dinner or your cousin's wedding). You laugh, commiserate over past loves, you like the way he makes you feel. The Accessory could turn into The Boyfriend Prospect.

What don't I like about The Gaggle?
Read more ›
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
OK, I have not bought this book YET, but I WILL! i have already read the preview of it on kindle and I have listened to the authors talk about it on Youtube. Anyway I can already tell this book is having an affect on me and I have not even read it yet! With the research I have done on this book, I have noticed that when it comes to dating and meeting guys, everytime I meet a guy I notice that I do all the following things: blush at how cute he is, nervous about talking with him and being around him, constantly wondering what he thinks about me, wonder if he has a girlfriend, wonder if he would me into me, happy to get any attention from him,wonder what would it be like if we did get together, feel kinda bad if things don't go how I wanted them to or how I thought whatever would happen......I am sick of it!

Also (i don't know if all of this happens just because of me and my life personally or just because of biology) but I also notice that I can't seem to focus on a guy being just a friend, I ALWAYS wonder if there is something more there or eventually there will be more. Plus, I feel as if the "traditional dating rules" are holding me back from meeting people, living life and having my fun because of course im constantly wondering what is "right or wrong" when it comes to my moral standards and the dating scene of today and how people are in the dating scene, if i am breaking any rules and the number one thing that I come across is that I do not want to see or talk to more than one guy at once even if the one guy im interested in does not like me or is just a friend or using me and the whole time I am completely unsure of myself and what type of guy I want, what attracts me to them,etc...think about how much sense that makes:NONE!!!
Read more ›
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
10 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly accurate, illuminating & hysterical June 23, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Disclaimer: I would never normally read a book about women and "the end of dating", but my girlfriend forced me to read this when I got upset about some male friends in her life. I had the idea that I'd read the first and last chapters so that I could claim I'd read it, but once I started it I couldn't put it down... which was a bit awkward cause as a straight guy you don't want to be seen on the downtown A train in NYC on the way to work reading a book with the subtitle 'How the Guys You Know Will Help You Find the Love You Want'. I had to eventually put another book cover over it. Anyway: it is such a forehead slapping kind of "why has no one talked about this before?" kind of book. It looks past all the bs of how women try to change themselves so that the "perfect" man will want them, and reorients the whole view and shows how they so clearly have more power over their options, and over the insanity of the whole dating thing, and frankly (since I'm a man, I know) more power in the face of a lot of clueless guys who think they own the world and get to make all the choices, and determine what is attractive and what is not. It reminded me a little of the Japanese martial art of Aikido which I studied a couple years ago, which teaches you not so much to fight (like kung fu or karate) but to use the power of your opponents and merely channel it to your advantage. This really talks about what women face now, and I have to say, I was very impressed by the insights it delivers by way of interviews with real people, and case studies, and the advice it gives. If I had a little sister, I'd buy this and give it to her immediately.
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars I really dislike when books written by smart women are dumbed down ...
I really dislike when books written by smart women are dumbed down by their excessive efforts to come off light hearted and giggly. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Jessica J.
4.0 out of 5 stars Constructive
This book had alot to say that was constructive for me, a member of the boomer generation. This book is primarily about and for millennials or members of gen x, and is based on... Read more
Published 14 months ago by RR in DC
5.0 out of 5 stars I gave it as a gift...
and I'm not sure she took it the way it was intended. It's an obvious, elementary but interesting read. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Isabelle - NYC
5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT NON-DATING/DATING BOOK!!!
This is one of the best books I've read. If you're a young or older women dating in this new era you need to read this book. Read more
Published 18 months ago by LM from Florida
5.0 out of 5 stars a welcome change in perspective
I bought The Gaggle for my sister, who is fresh out of college and dealing with the early twenties datingish scene. Read more
Published on May 28, 2013 by lynne
5.0 out of 5 stars Good read and funny
Great realistic and fun!
Recommended for all 20 something single girls and gives us a little more hope that love exists still
Published on March 25, 2013 by Ashley
5.0 out of 5 stars Immensely helpful and empowering
Found this book hugely helpful in navigating the " post dating world" a twenty something living in NYC dating can be really depressing... Read more
Published on February 18, 2013 by Goldylocks
1.0 out of 5 stars An excuse to publish her personal judgement
Originally this book started off nicely, I could certainly relate. However the more the book progressed, the more judgmental the author became. Read more
Published on November 25, 2012 by Christinem
1.0 out of 5 stars I was Gaggled...
no comment, but not for me. But I appreciate being a contendor, or even the winner even though I wasn't told I won, until I asked if the party was a gaggle.
Published on October 31, 2012 by Alexander C. Kazerooni
5.0 out of 5 stars relevant read for the fun and unattached ladies out there
I was nodding my head in agreement the entire time I was reading The Gaggle and making a mental list of the friends I need to recommend it to. Read more
Published on July 13, 2012 by CynVan
Search Customer Reviews

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.


There are no discussions about this product yet.
Be the first to discuss this product with the community.
Start a new discussion
First post:
Prompts for sign-in

Look for Similar Items by Category