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The Gaggle: How the Guys You Know Will Help You Find the Love You Want Hardcover – June 12, 2012

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1 edition (June 12, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1451657528
  • ISBN-13: 978-1451657524
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 1 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,486,272 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


Jess Massa and [Gaggle co-creator] Rebecca Wiegand are…poster girls for modern-day dating.” (Entertainment Weekly)

"Dating sucks. We all agree, it’s a job interview. It’s the worst thing ever…That’s why the gaggle is important…Guys are equally confused by the dating process, if not more…I think it’s wonderful.” (Patrick Meagher, Cocktails with Patrick Cosmo Radio)

“Every woman needs a gaggle of guys to fill different roles in her life. I do believe that! Yes, I do!” (Lara Spencer Good Afternoon America)

About the Author

Jessica Massa graduated magna cum laude from Harvard with a degree in psychology. Her work and opinions have been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Variety,, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, and the UK’s Men’s Health and She lives in Brooklyn.
Jessica and her best friend-turned-business partner Rebecca Wiegand coined the gaggle concept, which has been optioned for film by New Line Cinema. Jessica and Rebecca are the proprietors of the post-dating website WTF Is Up With My Love Life?! ( In April 2010, they co-founded J&R Creative Media to develop WTF?!, as well as other multimedia projects. A graduate of Yale, Rebecca also lives in Brooklyn.

Customer Reviews

I recommend this book to both men and women.
And out of that whole flood of commentary, the Gaggle is the only thing I've really liked, and the only one that rings true.
Daniel Hammond
Massa has clearly done her research, and the result is relevant, comprehensive and incredibly refreshing.
Grace Ann

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Romancing the Book on August 21, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
Posted on Romancing the BOok's blog
Reviewed by Marissa
Review Copy PRovided by the Publisher

I admit, it was the title that caught my attention. Since I have many men in my life - who I am not romantically involved with - I thought, "Why not read it and find out how all these men can help me?" Not quite how it works though.

Turns out that your Gaggle is made up of men who have the possibility of being romantic interests. There are ten types of men who can end up in your Gaggle, and each of those must appear attractive in one way or another. Not superficially attractive but attractive to you, whether it's because he's intelligent, fun, or a great storyteller.

So. Back to my (lack of a) romantic life. In viewing the possibilities for my Gaggle, I find I have The Super Horny Guy Who Happens to Be Around a Lot, The Guy Who Just Blew You Off, The Unavailable Guy, and The Ex-Boyfriend Who's Still Around. Hmmmm... Not looking too good here. But the beauty of a Gaggle is that by using each of the men in yours, you can increase your Gaggle. For instance, let's say The Guy Who Just Blew You Off brings a friend to your next softball game and you two hit it off. Bingo! The Boyfriend Prospect! Or maybe he's The Hot Sex Prospect. Wherever he falls, you've filled another place in your Gaggle.

And it doesn't stop there. Each member of your Gaggle has the potential to turn into The Boyfriend Prospect. Let's say you have a good connection with your Accessory (he's the guy you call when you need a plus-one for that business dinner or your cousin's wedding). You laugh, commiserate over past loves, you like the way he makes you feel. The Accessory could turn into The Boyfriend Prospect.

What don't I like about The Gaggle?
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By beccabewitching on July 31, 2012
Format: Hardcover
OK, I have not bought this book YET, but I WILL! i have already read the preview of it on kindle and I have listened to the authors talk about it on Youtube. Anyway I can already tell this book is having an affect on me and I have not even read it yet! With the research I have done on this book, I have noticed that when it comes to dating and meeting guys, everytime I meet a guy I notice that I do all the following things: blush at how cute he is, nervous about talking with him and being around him, constantly wondering what he thinks about me, wonder if he has a girlfriend, wonder if he would me into me, happy to get any attention from him,wonder what would it be like if we did get together, feel kinda bad if things don't go how I wanted them to or how I thought whatever would happen......I am sick of it!

Also (i don't know if all of this happens just because of me and my life personally or just because of biology) but I also notice that I can't seem to focus on a guy being just a friend, I ALWAYS wonder if there is something more there or eventually there will be more. Plus, I feel as if the "traditional dating rules" are holding me back from meeting people, living life and having my fun because of course im constantly wondering what is "right or wrong" when it comes to my moral standards and the dating scene of today and how people are in the dating scene, if i am breaking any rules and the number one thing that I come across is that I do not want to see or talk to more than one guy at once even if the one guy im interested in does not like me or is just a friend or using me and the whole time I am completely unsure of myself and what type of guy I want, what attracts me to them,etc...think about how much sense that makes:NONE!!!
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Parcival on June 23, 2012
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Disclaimer: I would never normally read a book about women and "the end of dating", but my girlfriend forced me to read this when I got upset about some male friends in her life. I had the idea that I'd read the first and last chapters so that I could claim I'd read it, but once I started it I couldn't put it down... which was a bit awkward cause as a straight guy you don't want to be seen on the downtown A train in NYC on the way to work reading a book with the subtitle 'How the Guys You Know Will Help You Find the Love You Want'. I had to eventually put another book cover over it. Anyway: it is such a forehead slapping kind of "why has no one talked about this before?" kind of book. It looks past all the bs of how women try to change themselves so that the "perfect" man will want them, and reorients the whole view and shows how they so clearly have more power over their options, and over the insanity of the whole dating thing, and frankly (since I'm a man, I know) more power in the face of a lot of clueless guys who think they own the world and get to make all the choices, and determine what is attractive and what is not. It reminded me a little of the Japanese martial art of Aikido which I studied a couple years ago, which teaches you not so much to fight (like kung fu or karate) but to use the power of your opponents and merely channel it to your advantage. This really talks about what women face now, and I have to say, I was very impressed by the insights it delivers by way of interviews with real people, and case studies, and the advice it gives. If I had a little sister, I'd buy this and give it to her immediately.
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