The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Suppose to Be and Embrace Who You Are [Kindle Edition]

Brene Brown (Author)

Book Description

I wish my nose was smaller. I feel guilty every time I leave my kids in day care. I'm afraid to say what I really think. I hate these thunder thighs. I should be married by now. I sounded so dumb. Whether we fixate on our bodies, minds, personalities, or actions, every woman struggles with feelings of not being good enough. Each day we face a barrage of images and ideas--from society and the media--telling us who we should be. We are led to believe that if we could only change those flaws by looking perfect and leading a perfect life, then we'd no longer feel inadequate.

In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown, Ph.D., the leading expert on shame, reveals that it is actually our imperfections that connect us to one another as human beings and make us who we are. We are naturally drawn to those we view as authentic, real, and down-to-earth. It makes sense, then, that we should stop reaching for something "better" and, instead, strive to be who we are, fully owning every aspect of ourselves. Through essays, stories, inspiring quotes, meditations, and dynamic creative exercises designed for personal discovery and growth, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits in finding the greatness in our flaws and evolving our self-perceptions. She helps us develop the skills to accept our humanness with compassion and practice empathy with ourselves and others.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Brown, author or I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't), again urges us to expose and expel our insecurities in order to have the most fulfilling life possible. Her latest is a guidebook for pilgrims on the journey to wholehearted living, which she defines as containing courage, compassion, deliberate boundaries, and connection. She has defined 10 guideposts for personal introspection, which involve cultivating some positive quality, whether it be authenticity, self-compassion, or a resilient spirit, intuition, meaningful work, or laughter. Each guidepost is the focus of a chapter that contains illustrative stories, primarily from her own life; definitions, including the difference between shame and guilt; quotes from such diverse sources as Diane Ackerman and E.E. Cummings; and brief suggestions of activities that she pursues with the assumption that they might help her audience. Although these activities are highlighted in her introduction to the book, they are in short supply and the book functions more as a chatty meditation on the guideposts. Despite occasional moments of insight, this book's primary value may be in spurring thought and providing references to other authors that will provide further inspiration for those seeking a more meaningful life. (Oct.)

From Booklist

Human-behavior researcher and author of I Thought It Was Just Me (2007), Brown has made a career out of studying difficult emotions such as fear and shame. In this latest book, she emphasizes that above all other ingredients of living an emotionally healthy life is the importance of loving ourselves. In the grips of what she took to be a breakdown, or midlife crisis, Brown came to understand she was experiencing a “spiritual awakening” and worked to explore its significance and the interaction of knowing and understanding yourself and loving yourself. She intersperses her own personal journey with research and clinical observations of others of the work of living a “wholehearted” life, or “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.” The point is to embrace life and oneself with all the imperfections, releasing the stress of overdoing and overworking. Brown offers exercises for readers to plumb their own emotions and begin to develop the kind of resilience needed to stand up to unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves. --Vanessa Bush

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• File Size: 1220 KB
• Print Length: 158 pages
• Page Numbers Source ISBN: 159285849X
• Publisher: Hazelden; 1 edition (September 20, 2010)
• Language: English
• ASIN: B0043M678A
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Not Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #62,247 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

283 of 303 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars I loved this book with my whole-heart. September 30, 2010

By Beverly A. Mcphail

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

The Gifts of Imperfection is a little gem of a book that offers readers a way to change their lives through adopting the practices of "wholehearted" living. Brené Brown shows us how to live more authentic and compassionate lives, while learning to embrace our imperfections, and recognize what issues get in our way, such as shame and fear. Although the book is an easy read on one level, it is a complex blueprint for living could take a lifetime to put into practice. The author challenges long-held notions and helped me see the world in new ways. She unpacks concepts such as the difference between happiness and joy and courage and heroics. The journey to a wholehearted life can be a spiritual process, and Dr. Brown is a rather unusual guide, a cross between the Dalai Lama and Wanda Sykes. One moment her words inspire hope and compassion and then belly laughs. She is brutally honest about her own strengths and struggles, so her words come not from an elevated plane, but from walking right beside, or maybe a little ahead, of the reader. Words such as "life-changing" and "revolutionary" are too often used and very clichéd, but they do describe this book. It would be a revolution in this country, and this world, if everyone practiced wholehearted living. That is a world that I want to live in. I am signing up for the revolution today, with my whole heart.

139 of 159 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Required Reading - A Living Guide October 2, 2010

By Karl E. Hansen

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I have just purchased 40 more copies to give to my closest friends and clients! This book heralds the solid research of Dr. Brene Brown and leads us toward an authentic approach to living a life devoid of the many misguided concepts of "personal perfectionism". Every human on the planet should read this book, then read it again with your spouse and adult children. Both this and her previous book will live in my library for the rest of my life.

269 of 313 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Reads like a blog; 130 pages, not the 260 Amazon lists February 20, 2011

By Aggie Dyson

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This isn't a bad book if you don't mind that it reads like a blog and is as deep as most blogs. First, it has 120 pages of text, plus blank pages, lots of white space, and some notes. Amazon has the page count completely wrong (as of Feb 2011, they list it at 260 pages). The author takes on large topics but doesn't go far with any of them. The chapter on "Cultivating Creativity" is about 4-1/2 pages. The one sub-titled "Letting Go of Perfectionism," presumably the focus of the book, is 7 pages. To be fair, there is a 17-page chapter. Within each chapter there's a brief discussion of the topic plus a few anecdotes--mostly from the author's life--some quotes from other people's work, a few references to the author's own research, and then a little advice. Although she says she's collected 10,000 stories in her research, she shares almost none of them here nor does she back up most of her assertions with evidence, studies, etc. For example, she says you can't have resilience ("the capacity to overcome adversity") if you aren't religious or spiritual ("recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us...") but gives no basis for it.

136 of 158 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it down... September 20, 2010

By Jamie M.

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I read a lot of books. Most of them stop at my mind; this one went to my heart. I couldn't put it down - truly life changing.

If you feel overwhelmed by expectations, get this book. You will be glad you did!

45 of 50 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This book has changed my life. August 14, 2011

By LBdotSee

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I've been through 6 therapists, I've struggled with depression for nearly twenty years, never could finish anything I started, and everyone always assumed I had ADHD. Not until therapist number five did someone point out to me that ADHD is often mistaken for anxiety and he was sure that was my problem. Boy was he right. Sadly, he was terrible at treating, so I found a new therapist who encouraged me to embrace the bad days and bad times and she pointed me to Brene Brown's TED talk on vulnerability. It really spoke to me, so I thought it would be a good idea to read her book. I just looked at the screen for a full minute trying to figure out how to put into words how much this book has helped me and I just can't find them. All those years I thought I had ADHD, I was just afraid of what people would think. I would pick up a new hobby hoping it would be the one that I could stick with and foster, only to give up on it. Never was the problem an attention deficiency, it was a courage deficiency. The author talks a lot about how making a major change in your life isn't something you wake up and do one day, it's something you practice every single day. And most will struggle with it, but without the struggle, we lose out on so much. I will have far fewer regrets on my deathbed having read this book. If you read these Ms. Brown, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart.

32 of 37 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Lacks concrete suggestions and "how-to" August 16, 2012

By N. Hyde

Format:Paperback

I started out really hopeful because I had read the positive reviews and the first chapters described how she used to be a perfectionist and she's highly logical and analytical and that sounds like me. She said her goal in the book is to provide a guide to becoming whole hearted, but she falls far short of that. She describes in general terms what the different aspects of being wholehearted are, but doesn't give very many concrete examples or suggestions. In describing a painful public speaking experience she had, she says, "I don't do how-to." I can see why she doesn't focus exclusively on tips and techniques, but I don't understand why she doesn't add more information on how to progress towards wholeheartedness in addition to the information she has. It ends up being a very short and superficial book. For example, she mentions various books scattered in the text, but doesn't have a list of resources and recommended reading at the end. She mentions that when you're feeling shame, you should reach out to someone and share your story. But she doesn't have suggestions on how to start that conversation if you're not in the habit of doing things like that. She mentions that she got a therapist to help her become wholehearted, but she doesn't discuss whether she recommends other people do that. If so, how do you find a good therapist? What will the therapist do for you? If not, what are other ways that you can get emotional support and stay on the right path? Without these specifics, the book is not very helpful.

More About the Author

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past twelve years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Her groundbreaking research has been featured on PBS, NPR, CNN, The Washington Post, and The New York Times.

Brené's 2010 TEDxHouston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the top ten most viewed TED talks on TED.com, with approximately 6 million viewers. Additionally, Brené gave the closing talk at the 2012 TED conference where she talked about shame, courage, and innovation.

Brené's newest book is, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Gotham, 2012). She is also the author of The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), and I Thought It Was Just Me (2007), and Connections (2009); a shame-resilience curriculum being facilitated by helping professionals across the globe.

Brené lives in Houston with her husband, Steve, and their two children, Ellen and Charlie.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#2 in Books > Self-Help

#4 in Books > Religion & Spirituality

#12 in Kindle eBooks > Business & Investing

#14 in Books > Business & Investing

#15 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting

#2 in Books > Self-Help

#4 in Books > Religion & Spirituality

#12 in Kindle eBooks > Business & Investing

#14 in Books > Business & Investing

#15 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting