The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are [Paperback]

Brene Brown (Author)

Book Description

Release date: September 1, 2010

In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown, a leading expert on shame, authenticity, and belonging, shares ten guideposts on the power of Wholehearted living—a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.

Each day we face a barrage of images and messages from society and the media telling us who, what, and how we should be. We are led to believe that if we could only look perfect and lead perfect lives, we'd no longer feel inadequate. So most of us perform, please, and perfect, all the while thinking, "What if I can't keep all of these balls in the air? Why isn't everyone else working harder and living up to my expectations? What will people think if I fail or give up? When can I stop proving myself?"

In her ten guideposts, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits as she explores how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough," and to go to bed at night thinking, "Yes, I am sometimes afraid, but I am also brave. And, yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, but that doesn't change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging."

"This important book is about the lifelong journey from 'What will people think?' to 'I am enough.' Brown's unique ability to blend original research with honest storytelling makes reading The Gifts of Imperfection like having a long, uplifting conversation with a very wise friend who offers compassion, wisdom, and great advice."
—Harriet Lerner, New York Times best-selling author of The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Connection

"Brené Brown courageously tackles the dark emotions that get in the way of leading a fuller life; read this book and let some of that courage rub off on you."
—Daniel H. Pink, New York Times best-selling author of A Whole New Mind

"Courage, compassion, and connection: Through Brené's research, observations, and guidance, these three little words can open the door to amazing change in your life.'"
—Ali Edwards, author of Life Artist

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Brown, author or I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't), again urges us to expose and expel our insecurities in order to have the most fulfilling life possible. Her latest is a guidebook for pilgrims on the journey to wholehearted living, which she defines as containing courage, compassion, deliberate boundaries, and connection. She has defined 10 guideposts for personal introspection, which involve cultivating some positive quality, whether it be authenticity, self-compassion, or a resilient spirit, intuition, meaningful work, or laughter. Each guidepost is the focus of a chapter that contains illustrative stories, primarily from her own life; definitions, including the difference between shame and guilt; quotes from such diverse sources as Diane Ackerman and E.E. Cummings; and brief suggestions of activities that she pursues with the assumption that they might help her audience. Although these activities are highlighted in her introduction to the book, they are in short supply and the book functions more as a chatty meditation on the guideposts. Despite occasional moments of insight, this book's primary value may be in spurring thought and providing references to other authors that will provide further inspiration for those seeking a more meaningful life. (Oct.)

From Booklist

Human-behavior researcher and author of I Thought It Was Just Me (2007), Brown has made a career out of studying difficult emotions such as fear and shame. In this latest book, she emphasizes that above all other ingredients of living an emotionally healthy life is the importance of loving ourselves. In the grips of what she took to be a breakdown, or midlife crisis, Brown came to understand she was experiencing a “spiritual awakening” and worked to explore its significance and the interaction of knowing and understanding yourself and loving yourself. She intersperses her own personal journey with research and clinical observations of others of the work of living a “wholehearted” life, or “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.” The point is to embrace life and oneself with all the imperfections, releasing the stress of overdoing and overworking. Brown offers exercises for readers to plumb their own emotions and begin to develop the kind of resilience needed to stand up to unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves. --Vanessa Bush

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: Hazelden; 1 edition (September 1, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 159285849X
• ISBN-13: 978-1592858491
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.4 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (313 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #77 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #1 in Books > Self-Help > Creativity
  • #2 in Books > Self-Help > Spiritual
  • #3 in Books > Self-Help > Self-Esteem

More About the Author

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past twelve years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Her groundbreaking research has been featured on PBS, NPR, CNN, The Washington Post, and The New York Times.

Brené's 2010 TEDxHouston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the top ten most viewed TED talks on TED.com, with approximately 6 million viewers. Additionally, Brené gave the closing talk at the 2012 TED conference where she talked about shame, courage, and innovation.

Brené's newest book is, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Gotham, 2012). She is also the author of The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), and I Thought It Was Just Me (2007), and Connections (2009); a shame-resilience curriculum being facilitated by helping professionals across the globe.

Brené lives in Houston with her husband, Steve, and their two children, Ellen and Charlie.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#3 in Books > Self-Help

#4 in Books > Religion & Spirituality

#12 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting

#15 in Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting

#3 in Books > Self-Help

#4 in Books > Religion & Spirituality

#12 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting

#15 in Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

280 of 300 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars I loved this book with my whole-heart. September 30, 2010

By Beverly A. Mcphail

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

The Gifts of Imperfection is a little gem of a book that offers readers a way to change their lives through adopting the practices of "wholehearted" living. Brené Brown shows us how to live more authentic and compassionate lives, while learning to embrace our imperfections, and recognize what issues get in our way, such as shame and fear. Although the book is an easy read on one level, it is a complex blueprint for living could take a lifetime to put into practice. The author challenges long-held notions and helped me see the world in new ways. She unpacks concepts such as the difference between happiness and joy and courage and heroics. The journey to a wholehearted life can be a spiritual process, and Dr. Brown is a rather unusual guide, a cross between the Dalai Lama and Wanda Sykes. One moment her words inspire hope and compassion and then belly laughs. She is brutally honest about her own strengths and struggles, so her words come not from an elevated plane, but from walking right beside, or maybe a little ahead, of the reader. Words such as "life-changing" and "revolutionary" are too often used and very clichéd, but they do describe this book. It would be a revolution in this country, and this world, if everyone practiced wholehearted living. That is a world that I want to live in. I am signing up for the revolution today, with my whole heart.

136 of 154 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Required Reading - A Living Guide October 2, 2010

By Karl E. Hansen

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I have just purchased 40 more copies to give to my closest friends and clients! This book heralds the solid research of Dr. Brene Brown and leads us toward an authentic approach to living a life devoid of the many misguided concepts of "personal perfectionism". Every human on the planet should read this book, then read it again with your spouse and adult children. Both this and her previous book will live in my library for the rest of my life.

256 of 296 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Reads like a blog; 130 pages, not the 260 Amazon lists February 20, 2011

By Aggie Dyson

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This isn't a bad book if you don't mind that it reads like a blog and is as deep as most blogs. First, it has 120 pages of text, plus blank pages, lots of white space, and some notes. Amazon has the page count completely wrong (as of Feb 2011, they list it at 260 pages). The author takes on large topics but doesn't go far with any of them. The chapter on "Cultivating Creativity" is about 4-1/2 pages. The one sub-titled "Letting Go of Perfectionism," presumably the focus of the book, is 7 pages. To be fair, there is a 17-page chapter. Within each chapter there's a brief discussion of the topic plus a few anecdotes--mostly from the author's life--some quotes from other people's work, a few references to the author's own research, and then a little advice. Although she says she's collected 10,000 stories in her research, she shares almost none of them here nor does she back up most of her assertions with evidence, studies, etc. For example, she says you can't have resilience ("the capacity to overcome adversity") if you aren't religious or spiritual ("recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us...") but gives no basis for it.