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The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies [Kindle Edition]

Lynn Messina
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $12.95
Kindle Price: $2.99
You Save: $9.96 (77%)

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Burning Down George Orwell's House
Burning Down George Orwell's House
Pulitzer Prize and PEN/Faulkner Award finalist Robert Stone describes Burning Down George Orwell's House as a "… most enjoyable, a witty, original turn … one part black comedy and one part a meditation on modern life. It is well-written and truly original." Learn more about the author, Andrew Ervin

Book Description

Hattie Cross knows what you're thinking: Zombie sex? Ewwwww. But she also knows that since a virus turned 99.9999 percent of human males into zombies, it's statistically impossible to meet—let alone date—the remaining 0.00001 percent. So she writes "The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies" to help her fellow single women navigate the zombie-relationship waters.

Her practical how-to impresses the CEO of the largest drug company in the world, and before she knows it, Hattie, a reporter for a downmarket tabloid that specializes in conspiracy theories, is sitting down with the woman who single-handedly invented the zombie-behavioral-modification market. Granted access to the inner sanctum of zombaceuticals, she meets an actual, living, breathing M-A-N.

Now Hattie, the consummate professional, is acting like a single girl at the end of the twentieth century: self-conscious, klutzy and unable to form a coherent sentence without babbling. Worst of all, the human male appears to have impaired her ability to think clearly. Because all of a sudden she's convinced a conspiracy is afoot at the drug company and it seems to go all the way to the top!

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Lynn Messina grew up on Long Island and studied English at Washington University in St. Louis. She has worked at the Museum of Television & Radio (now the Paley Center for Media), TV Guide, In Style, Rolling Stone, Fitness, ForbesLife, Self, Bloomberg Markets and a host of wonderful magazines that have long since disappeared. She mourns the death of print journalism in New York City, where she lives with her husband and sons. She is author of six novels, including the best-selling Fashionistas, which has been translated into 15 languages and is in development as a feature film.

Product Details

  • File Size: 2690 KB
  • Print Length: 242 pages
  • Publisher: Potatoworks Press (November 13, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00762LMQQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #591,232 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Living with Zombies! And Dating! And Sex?!? What? February 19, 2012
The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies was a really fun book to read. I do have to admit that I choked a bit on my popcorn as I was reading the chapter that discussed the advantages to having zombie sex and stopping all activity at once if your special boyzomb should happen to lose a finger or toe during the act in order to sew the lost appendage back on before resuming the activity. What?? I definitely took a little while to get that particular image out of my head.

The world is considerably different than our own, as a zombie plague hit most of the male population roughly twenty years ago, turning them into zombies. Luckily, the zombies weren't looking for human brains to eat this time, but were quite happy to chomp on Fluffy or Rocky, your cute and cuddly cat and dog. The descriptions of the most popular places to meet a zombie male were rather funny as dance clubs and bars were set up at slaughterhouses and similar venues as zombies would haunt these places looking for their next meals. The author writes about these places in a no-nonsense fashion, yet I couldn't help laughing at the irony and sarcasm inherent in her writing and in her words as the word byplay was rather funny. The scene where Hattie, the main character, takes her boyzomb out to dinner where he can eat a live cow was too funny as you have to be careful that he doesn't splash blood and guts all over your clothes and food. I couldn't help but laugh and note how people adapted to situations, yet at the same time, there was a message implicit in the descriptions as well.

Hattie was quite fun as a main character and I loved the impulsiveness in her nature.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Zombie Sex! Got your attention, didn't I? February 15, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
What a fun book! I love how chapters of the Guide were mixed into the story itself. There are a lot of zombie books out there right now and this is a nice humorous twist on our favorite brain eating, foot dragging, reanimated humans.

Know why you should pick up this book(besides the interesting plot, the humor and the good writing)? You should pick it up for the zombie sex. Yes, I said sex. S-E-X. With zombies. Zombies who are missing limbs. Zombies who might loose a finger during fornication. Zombies on....Viagra! Come on now. Comedy gold! You know you want to read about it!
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Girl's Guide to Pure Fun March 9, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Since this is the year of the zombie I've been reading one or two zombie books a month, and watching a few zombie movies, too. When I saw that The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies was part of a blog tour hosted by Emlyn Chand's Novel Publicity, I jumped aboard. For those who haven't been following closely, we've gone way beyond classic zombie stories of a few survivors holding out in a bunker somewhere, trying to make their way to some place rumored to be safe. That's gotten a bit old. That was so yesterday.

So it's not only the year of the zombie, it's the year of the zombie spoof. The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies is both a great place to start for people who have never read a zombie book, and might also be good fun for veteran zombie fans.

It's the year 2020, and the zombie virus that hit exactly 20 years ago targeted, tragically, only humans carrying the Y chromosome. You guessed it. All men became zombies within three weeks of being infected. With disastrous results for women -- can you imagine?

Our heroine in the story, Hattie Cross, was only 6 years old when the plague hit. She's never had a boyfriend in her life. A resident of New York, she works as a journalist for the Daily Scoopage writing articles of questionable authenticity and maximum headline value. Hattie was a natural for writing The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies. Promotional activities for her new book make her something of a celebrity, and catch the attention of the largest zombie pharmaceutical company in the world, Geiser & Meyser. They make huge profits producing drugs which make zombies smell nicer, help them avoid putrefaction, and improve the quality of their skin.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Zombies have come full circle February 14, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
with this book! I'm on the fence about all the zombie stuff out there. Love Walking Dead because of the story (Zombies provide a lot of tension) and I always watch Shaun of the Dead for Halloween. But the title pushed me off the fence and I was not disappointed. First off, zombies are no, this a well-written story! The twist in all this is that men are basically wiped out and have become zombies (is it that far from the truth now... hehehe) but our heroine scores a rare M A N and also a mystery that only she can solve. Read this book and then watch this writer for more!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The Title Says it All February 19, 2012
Any book that manages to successfully satirize such wildly different genres like chick-lit and zombie-lit in one fell swoop deserves to be read. And Messina effortlessly pulls it off with her wit and unique imagination. An absolute delight!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Masterpiece February 17, 2012
As if dating isn't difficult enough, the year 2020 brings a rare plague that pretty much wipes men off the face of the earth, save for a few hundred thousand--and they're milking their new status for everything it's worth. All that's left in the dating pool are zombies, aka zomboys.

Luckily, the world also has Hattie Cross, journalist and author of Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies, a manual of sorts written to help women navigate the unchartered waters of dating zombies; and, yes, that includes undead sex.

While interviewing the CEO of a major drug company that produces ground-breaking zombeceuticals, Hattie's sharp journalistic instincts uncover shocking information that will not only make her career, but may even change the entire world--again.

Lynn Messina's writing style and story-telling prowess is incredibly enjoyable and entertaining. Perfectly applying her fantastic sense of humor and satirical style, Messina lends legitimacy to an otherwise outrageous concept, and renders it strangely plausible.

And, after the last page has been turned, you'll sit and ponder a moment before realizing that, despite their perceived short-comings and annoyances, you have a totally renewed and much deeper appreciation for men.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfection
This story had a very amusing tone throughout, but also affected me emotionally, which demonstrates this author's prowess. Read more
Published 14 months ago by LJo
4.0 out of 5 stars The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies
There is very few men left in the world after a virus turned all men into Zombies. Hattie Cross has written a book called The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies to help other women... Read more
Published 15 months ago by PamM
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome!
Rom com satire at it's finest. I love how this book pokes fun at all the magazines and talk shows women have read and watched over the years. Read more
Published 15 months ago by A. Brantley
5.0 out of 5 stars First Zombie Book - I might have to reconsider my stance against...
I'll be honest, I got this book solely because of the blurb. It sounded funny and so I had some vague hope it would follow through and actually be funny. Read more
Published 18 months ago by ToryMichaels
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!!
This book is awesome! I never leave reviews and don't usually buy kindle books from authors I don't know since there are so many free books out there but wow! Read more
Published 18 months ago by neabo2458
4.0 out of 5 stars Just about right
Yep...zombies or not, men eat of the beef and watch the sports.
Adorable book dealing with most men on planet Earth being zombiefied for twenty years or so. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Scrapper
5.0 out of 5 stars Hillariously Unique zombie story
A very unique take on the zombie apocalypse. The funniest zombie novel I have ever read. The romance part of the story is not too strong for some one not interested in romance... Read more
Published 18 months ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun and completely disturbing... in a good way.
Amanda @

There seem to be more and more zombie books out there here lately. Read more
Published on January 23, 2013 by Amanda Wesley
4.0 out of 5 stars IndieReader Review
When Hattie Cross, a magazine writer at The Daily Scoopage and author of The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies, researches a story and unwittingly uncovers a major story that could... Read more
Published on July 30, 2012 by Amy Edelman
2.0 out of 5 stars Where are the zombie dates?
The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies gives the reader an interesting view of a world where human males are all but extinct, but domesticated zombies are the next best thing. Read more
Published on July 4, 2012 by JennMelt
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More About the Author

Lynn Messina is the author of 14 novels, including Fashionistas, which has been translated into 16 languages, and The Love Takes Root series of Regency romances. Her essays have appeared in Self, American Baby and the Modern Love column of The New York Times. She's also a regular contributor to the Times Motherlode blog. Lynn lives in New York City with her husband and sons.

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